A group of reconstructive surgeons got together and opened a business where customers can choose from hundreds of different facial augmentation components...upon entering I asked one of the attendants if I could "pick my nose"?...her reply was, "snot recommended but it's your call".
So Little Johnny’s teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says “Teacher, I’ll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is.” She replies, “Okay, meet me after class and we’ll settle it.” But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students leave the classroom, Johnny makes his guess. “Blue.” “Nope. You got it wrong,” she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn’t wearing any underwear. “Well come with me out to my dads car, he’s waiting for me, and I’ll get you the money.” She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: “That motherfucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he’d see your pussy before the end of the day!”
What’s the hardest thing about being a vegan that CrossFits?
Trying to decide which one to tell people about first.
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Joke #2
Once I got mad at my husband and didn't talk to him for the entire week. At the end of the week he said to me, "Wow, we've been getting on great lately!"
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Joke #3
What's the hardest thing about dating a blind woman?
