"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Tyrone, "but we don't have a ladder."
The White guy took a wrench from his work bucket, loosened a couple of bolts and layed the pole down on the ground. Then he took a tape measure from his bucket, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One nigger shook his head and laughed, "Typical honky! We ask for the height and he gives us the length!"
Before the bartender even returns with the check, the man has slammed back half of them and shows no signs of slowing down.
As the guy finishes his final shot, the bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?" The guy wipes his mouth and replies, "You'd be drinking fast, too, if you had what I have."
The bartender asks, "What do you have?" As he runs out the door, the guy says, "75 cents."
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
