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Our hurricanes are 6 million miles across and blow 300 mph. We have anacondas, blood-sucking mosquitos, and a season every year where "hatebugs" swarm en masse and take all the finish off your car. Our cockroaches fly and our gators have AIDS. Not to mention our pollen season is deadly to vaxxed Yankees. Purebloods, Crackers, and honorary crackers with a blood-sweet tea ratio of 10:1 are exempt.

So any queers and faggots who moved to St Pete thinking you were going to have rainbow orgies are in for a rude awakening. Just cut your losses and slink back to wherever you came from. #demexit

Ready the johnboats and kayaks, boys. Biscuits before bagels

Today is the feast day of Saint Valentine, a priest who was martyred for the faith on this day in the late 3rd century. He married Christian couples in defiance of Empower Claudius II, who banned marriage in order to conscript more soldiers in his war against the Goths.

Married men were not forced to go to war, so Valentinus was a real thorn in the emperor's side. Available soldiers were sparse. Legend says that Valentinus would give hearts cut from parchment to Christian husbands to remind them of their vows and God's love.

"And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth." JRR Tolkien


As a child, I remember this day being referred to as "St Valentine's Day". Not sure when "saint" was dropped.

Serious question. If these people are passed out on the street all the time, why are they not dead of starvation or dehydration? Who's feeding them? Where are they getting the money for their fix? Makes no sense

It makes them chimp out.

Whether you're on team Robert Sepehr o/ or (((Robert Sepehr))), this is a good one.

Here's a Kleenex, monkey-people

Some little bastard broke into my chicken coop and killed over half my flock. It didn't even eat them, just killed them and left the bodies. Some of them were completely intact :( I raised these birds from chicks and they were just getting going with laying. I had to mercy kill one and the rooster is probably not going to make it either.

Fuck ALL raccoons. They slaughtered my parent's fish pond once too. She woke up and all the koi were scattered on the ground, not even eaten.

They are a nuisance in the city getting in your trash and a TERROR in the country going after your animals.

I didn't say anything at the time but the little kitty you guys helped name disappeared too. It's carnage out here, no wonder there are so many buzzards.

Fuck this, I'm getting a dog now. Maybe sleep on the porch too.

Last week on conspiracies.win, one of the mods (((organically))) propositioned to ban discussions of Flat Earth and quarantine the topic onto it's own board because "They are time wasters and trolls".

https://conspiracies.win/p/16aA4OVEMZ/a-motion-for-banning-flat-earth-/

The call for censorship is obviously not well received on a board created because of previous censorship.

https://conspiracies.win/p/16aA4WRRht/in-defense-of-flat-earth-posts/

The debate is heated, shills hurling insults abound. Demoralizes from the old voat have new assignments, it seems.

https://conspiracies.win/p/16aA92sJ0M/in-defense-of-flat-earth/

And then Magically out OF NOWHERE we have 1, 2, 3...four threats from the sky appear over the weekend. Gee willickers!

Something bad is happening and it's coming from Space! So don't you dare question it, you anti-Science, troglodyte fed shill!

Now accepting bets on the next hoax. Will it be Chinese Murder Balloons? Aliens? Space Nazis from Antarctica?

I've heard about the Scythians and Celts being lost tribes, but not blacks.

Wikipedia says the two founders were both inspired by "visions" that african americans (specifically?) are hebrew, and goes on to call them historical revisionists.

Do they have any evidence to back this claim, or is this another case of We Wuz Kangz?

In a fight between trannies and furries, who is more degenerate? At least a furry can take his costume off

Those folks had a better track record than any "intelligence" agency.

A typical segment goes like this-

Robert Stack: *Help us reconnect this family, separated over 30 years ago. Baby Michael Jones was born in Bloomington, Illinois and adopted out of St Margaret's Home for Children.*

Screen shows black-and-white picture of toddler.

UPDATE

RS: *Michael Jones has been found, living in Tulsa, Oklahoma. His name was changed after adoption. Here he is reconnecting with his family.*

Shows middle-aged man being hugged by an old woman. He's all grown up, but looks just like his baby picture.

Or the best ones-

RS: *Help us find this serial embezzler and con artist, who has gone by 20 aliases and may be living overseas. Last known under the moniker 'Howard Moon'.*

Shows a picture of a man in a wig and sunglasses.

UPDATE

RS: *Thirty minutes after our broadcast, a tip was received about the whereabouts of our culprit. He has been found, living in this motel in Arizona under the name 'Jose Gonzalez'. Authorities were notified and he is now awaiting trial*.

I don't know if these outcomes were faked or not, but it seems like people in the 80s with no internet solved more cases than not. Except for whatever happened to DB Cooper (good for him).