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51

Raccoons can go to hell

submitted by Endo_Aryan to whatever 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 09:59:30 ago (+51/-0)     (whatever)

Some little bastard broke into my chicken coop and killed over half my flock. It didn't even eat them, just killed them and left the bodies. Some of them were completely intact :( I raised these birds from chicks and they were just getting going with laying. I had to mercy kill one and the rooster is probably not going to make it either.

Fuck ALL raccoons. They slaughtered my parent's fish pond once too. She woke up and all the koi were scattered on the ground, not even eaten.

They are a nuisance in the city getting in your trash and a TERROR in the country going after your animals.

I didn't say anything at the time but the little kitty you guys helped name disappeared too. It's carnage out here, no wonder there are so many buzzards.

Fuck this, I'm getting a dog now. Maybe sleep on the porch too.


80 comments block

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[ - ] Hoobeejoo 35 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 10:05:13 ago (+35/-0)

Now, now. I know this one coon who's totally not like that. He pays his child support on time and has only been to jail for traffic tickets. He's a good boy who din du nuffin. This broad brush bigotry is not acceptable!

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 22 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 10:58:45 ago (+22/-0)

lol #notallcoons

[ - ] Clubberlang 6 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:20:46 ago (+6/-0)

#noracoonsnopeace

[ - ] SkullFuckerSupreme 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 13:44:12 ago (+2/-2)

We choose our truth over facts.

[ - ] lord_nougat 7 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:11:04 ago (+7/-0)

I fucking HATE those pieces of shit as well, and for a couple additional reasons. A dog is an excellent plan; even though ours is old and lazy, she is still super enthusiastic when it comes to attacking raccoons [which honestly is what won me over; she's kind of terrible - but she is absolutely merciless to vermin] and she makes a load of very frightening deep throated snarls and barks and pisses all over.

Oh! You should pee all over as well. All the piss smell worries raccoons because it indicates someone's well patrolled territory, or something. Also shooting them probably helps.

[ - ] deleted 7 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 10:26:31 ago (+7/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 5 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:00:42 ago (+5/-0)

Yes, I want revenge. And the most bloodthirsty dog for anyone else who wants to try

[ - ] knije_tahou 7 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 14:15:32 ago (+7/-0)

Mine is an Anatolian Shepherd/Kangal mix. About 180+lbs. They guard livestock and kill everything else. Bite pressure is 748lbs compared to a pit bull at 308lbs.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 23, 2023 08:54:14 ago (+1/-0)

We're considering the Anatolian shepherd and Pyrenees. I worked with Pyrenees in the past, never got to see them confront anything but the farm didn't lose any birds to predators. But I like those bite stats- I want to see skulls getting crushed left and right. Bodies everywhere.

[ - ] MAGANDN 4 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:42:35 ago (+4/-0)

I forgot to tell you about the air rifle I got to kill them with. I used to shoot them with a 9mm cuz the first few I killed took to many 22 and didn't die. But the neighbors a half mile away called the cops and that was an issue. Get the gammo swarm whisper. It has a 10 round magazine and is a barrel break design so there's no co2 cartridges to replace.

[ - ] MaryXmas 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:48:13 ago (+1/-0)

What cal?

[ - ] MAGANDN 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 13:32:48 ago (+1/-0)

22

[ - ] ConcentrationCampCouncilor 4 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 13:48:04 ago (+4/-0)

500 S&W Magnum, 338 Lapua, 1-3/8oz 12ga slug. In sequence.

[ - ] ItsOk2bArian 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 19:54:17 ago (+1/-0)

Holy pink mist!
At least there won't be much left to clean up after that

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 5 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:48:01 ago (+5/-0)

AND NOW YOU KNOW WHY I KILL EVERY FUCKING COON I SEE...COONS ARE A NUISANCE RODENT...KILL THE COON

[ - ] MaryXmas 5 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:34:39 ago (+5/-0)

No need for a dog. Duke dogproof traps and some dog food, or can or sardines. Chain it up good. Get a big bore air rifle to dispatch (Hatsan carnivore is a good one and quiet for nosey neighbors). You will fill up your compost pile very quickly.
It can be illegal out of season so you might have to set the traps in your chicken yard so you can say they are a nuisance. Otherwise, it could be poaching. Fur season is typically thanksgiving to new years. You might also need a trapper card and you will need to put your address and number on the traps. ...check your local laws.

[ - ] lord_nougat 5 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:14:40 ago (+5/-0)

That's dumb. It should be permissible to eradicate these vermin on sight.

[ - ] MaryXmas 4 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:47:13 ago (+4/-0)

Correct, it is dumb. When you have 40 dead raccoons, you will create a different problem for yourself.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 18:16:55 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] MaryXmas 4 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 19:04:10 ago (+4/-0)

You mean downtown? I live in the country pal. Id rather drop 10 dead raccoons next to the urban KFC and call it a day.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 23, 2023 08:55:14 ago (+0/-0)

LOL

[ - ] deleted 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 13:28:24 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Rowdybme 2 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 14:45:28 ago (+2/-0)

Yup we used to take fresh coon roadkill to Mississippi and sell them for like 5 bucks a pop.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 23, 2023 08:59:54 ago (+0/-0)

This old Cracker farmer I know eats them in stew, too. No thanks, I'd eat squirrel before a garbage panda.

[ - ] GOATMAN 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 14:18:27 ago (+1/-0)

I second, duke dog proof traps. Marshmallows work well as bait too. Rip them in half, stuck half in the edge and the rest down in the tube.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 23, 2023 08:58:46 ago (+0/-0)

Good advice, thanks. I've been wanting to get an air rifle for small game anyways.

[ - ] MaryXmas 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 23, 2023 13:20:32 ago (+0/-0)

.30 cal break barrel. No co2 cartridges and 12 bucks for a tin of 100 rounds. You could take down a deer if you needed to.

I had a .177 and they bounced off the coon. .22 might work but it would be nearly the same price for the larger caliber and you have a lot more stopping power.

It is great for rabbit, skunk, possum, etc.

[ - ] lolxd 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 23, 2023 13:05:39 ago (+0/-0)

Fur taxes make it expensive to legally hunt coons in my parts. It's rubbish.

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 5 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 10:57:04 ago (+5/-0)

Get yourself some 'coon traps, learn to use them.

[ - ] Belfuro 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 13:36:47 ago (+3/-0)

Part of rural life is to shoot all pests especially once it becomes legal again.

Anyway. Feral cats and stoats are a constant threat.

Six baby rabbits took up home at the end of our driveway.

We watched one by one as they were caught and eaten by smaller stoats. Brutal

[ - ] ruck_feddit 4 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 14:10:16 ago (+4/-0)

Stoats! I was trying to describe those weasels to someone yesterday and couldn't think of the name. Fuckin small world coincidences.

[ - ] HeyJames 5 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 10:21:29 ago (+5/-0)

Sounds like you need a coon hound

[ - ] chrimony 5 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 10:12:41 ago (+5/-0)

How did they break in? I presume you can racoon-proof the coop?

It's a predator animal. A cat or a fox would have done the same thing.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:04:30 ago (+3/-0)

It's an A frame on skids, the door is hog wire on a metal frame and there's more hog wire surrounding the door frame. It pushed the hog wire in from the bottom to break in, bent it free from the screws holding it in place. That's why I think it was a raccoon, a fox or coyote couldn't do that with it's nose and there was no digging.

[ - ] chrimony 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:53:07 ago (+3/-0)

So the wire came out from under the screw? Maybe a flat metal bar under the screws would stop that. Could also consider a security camera and motion-activated lights. Gonna be less expensive than a dog you have to stick outside. I feel sorry for those guys -- they are a social animal. If you leave them outside by themselves they tend to bark all the time too. But I guess you've got roosters, so you're used to noisy animals.

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:12:46 ago (+2/-0)

Some kind of setup which causes intense pain to whoever is trying to break in might be nice. Get creative!

[ - ] MaryXmas 4 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:53:42 ago (+4/-0)

Leaving a coon in a trap for 12 hours then killing it is pretty brutal. They can break their arms or rub all the skin off their arm - to the bone.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 23, 2023 09:01:40 ago (+0/-0)

Yes, spent all day installing metal sheeting over the hog wire. The problem I didn't notice was the hog wire was attached from the inside, so with enough force the animal pushed it's way in. Can't do that now.

[ - ] chrimony 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 23, 2023 12:37:50 ago (+0/-0)

Good luck with your chickens.

[ - ] texasblood 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:59:15 ago (+5/-2)

You would never survive in the country.
Take this lesson to learn your weakness.
Your coup was weak in design/security.
We have layers and a large 80-100 bird run of quail.
All our birds are coon/fox/bobcat-proof.
We have driveway dinger alarms all over the property that alert when a beam is broken by critters.
Periodic night hunts help the most with predators

[ - ] lord_nougat 7 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:16:22 ago (+7/-0)

Your coup was weak in design/security.
He didn't try to overthrow anybody.

[ - ] prominent_proboscis 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:50:16 ago (+1/-0)

a lot of coops out there are shitboxes, but sometimes theres not much you can do. my buddy overbuilt his coop for the usual predators, but a fuckin mamma bear made a visit last spring and ripped a wall clean off before taking out the neighbors coop too. sucks losing chickens, but i’m not moving them into the living room

[ - ] texasblood -1 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 16:25:00 ago (+0/-1)

Bears are rare on coup raiding, even our huge quail grow in northwest AR gets passed over by the bears.
To much other shit to eat I guess.
Them fucking rat snakes are hard AF some seasons.
Again, night hunts do work.

[ - ] MAGANDN 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 10:08:16 ago (+4/-1)

Bro, get 2 box traps. If you have soft cat food use the little cans as bait. Make sure there's a 3 to four foot 2x4 tied perpendicular to the trap so the fuckers can't spin the trap and get out. Then shoot them or drowned them. Be careful cuz skunks like that catfood too. I killed 14 coons last year with this method. My corn has never grown better.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 2 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:06:26 ago (+2/-0)

14 kills, you're on a roll. I'll try this because we're just easy pickings right now.

[ - ] Outlaw_Aryan 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 10:03:26 ago (+3/-0)

Sorry for your loss man. What a shitty thing to wake up to. Just remember someone's always got it worse. I know, shitty words of wisdom but it's actually true. Tomorrow will be better.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:09:37 ago (+3/-0)

Thanks, I'm going to use this as a lesson. It was a terrible way to start the day but at least I saw the feathers before my kid did so I could steer him away. That was a close one.

[ - ] Outlaw_Aryan 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:23:03 ago (+3/-0)

Good for you man! Tomorrow will be better!

[ - ] Rotteuxx 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 14:31:47 ago (+3/-0)

Why hide death from your kid? You skipped a great opportunity to teach him important things about life.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 25, 2023 08:58:21 ago (+0/-0)

He's only 4 and discovered our headless rooster 2 months ago, then was upset because that was his favorite bird. I told him what happened, he just doesn't need to see it first-hand.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 13:27:16 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 23, 2023 12:47:48 ago (+0/-0)

We lost 13 total birds now, the rooster lasted about 24 hours. We pretty much have to start all over again with chicks, so annoying because the pullet eggs were just starting to come in!

[ - ] TheSimulacra 2 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:36:22 ago (+2/-0)

Super easy to trap and kill them.
The only animal Buddhists will kill purposefully.

[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 2 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:08:27 ago (+2/-0)

I know how you feel. Years ago I had a squirrel get into the attic to make a home for itself. Got him out, but he forced his way back in and started to destroy things. Trapped him, killed him, then went on a squirrel killing spree for the whole summer with an old BB gun. Man that was satisfying.
Not the same as losing some of your flock, but I feel for you.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 23:10:30 ago (+1/-0)

Maybe a coonhound?

[ - ] Dirtydyno 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 21:49:41 ago (+1/-0)

I'm late to this party was busy when I saw this I was at work, then had to do some pre gardening work. I have Endo's had experience EXACTLY. Chickens are frustrating, I did it for about six years.

To raise chicken's you have to basically build a fort knox of fencing, including overhead barriers, and even electric fencing. Every animal wants a chicken dinner. Skunks can worm into teeny tiny gaps and eat your chicks and eggs.

Live traps beat any bullshit you try with guns. A trap works even when you are at work and when you are asleep. Dogs are spotty. Some eat the chickens too, some cooperate with the raccoons in trash raids, the good ones hate them with a passion.

At the end of the day you will never get eggs cheaper at whatever price they charge at the store. The price of good feed goes up at the same rate as the eggs. You can let them range, but you will lose chickens, no net gain. But the eggs you get are GREAT, soo much better. But you got to enjoy the experience of raising chickens.

You can eat a worn out laying hen. It's not really worth the effort unless you are starving. No one ever tells you how effort it takes, and how much it smells to clean a chicken.

If your ok with it and you like it. Go ahead, more power to you. I will buy your eggs even if you price them high. I'll just grow some more potatoes in the mean time.

Considered Rabbits. Does anyone have experience?

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 25, 2023 09:24:41 ago (+0/-0)

My nearest grocery store is a half hour away so any food source I can keep going is a blessing. I really enjoy birds, I used to have parrots and worked on a commercial livestock farm with thousands of broilers and layers. It's enjoyable to me so not really a headache, just sad that I couldn't protect them adequately and they had to die for no reason.

I certainly over-estimated myself this season but that's how I like to do it: just try and troubleshoot as I go along. I had a dual-purpose breed with roosters, my goal was to incubate fertilized eggs and hatch them for a meat. Maybe next year. But I really want to get this down before shtf and we can't go to the store for chicks.

My neighbor raises rabbits, they're exclusively in a wire-bottomed hutch. I'm pretty sure he buys feed of some kind. But I had other friends who kept their rabbits in a hutch similar to the chicken tractor so they got fresh grass every day. But he had to catch them and put them in a safer enclosure every night.

[ - ] MrDarkWater 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 18:06:57 ago (+1/-0)

See, you're doing it backwards.
The racoon is supposed to feed the chickens.

Shoot the fucker. Get a bucket and drill holes in the bottom. Place the coon in the bucket and hang it above the chickens. the maggots feeding on your former nemesis will fall from the bucket and feed the chickens.

[ - ] Xantha 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 16:45:14 ago (+1/-0)

Raccoons are absolute fuckers. They got into my bird feeders last year, so I moved the feeders onto poles bolted to trees, far off the ground-- hard to reach-- all that shit. Those furry cunts started pulling some mission impossible dangling shit to reach them and chew the fucking feeders apart again-- permanently destroying them.

So after I rebuilt my feeders for the 3rd time, I set up a motion alarm tied to my bedroom that would ding every time a raccoon (or squirrel) got near the feeders. I killed seven raccoons and five squirrels in one month and after that, nothing touched my feeders except for birds for an entire year. Coyotes ended up coming through in the middle of the night and eating all the bodies I had in my corpse pile.

I thought about doing a chicken coop this year, but I know that thing will basically have to be the CSS Virginia ironclad of chicken coops to survive out here.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 25, 2023 09:10:20 ago (+0/-0)

Oh I've witnessed the bird feeder saga, too. My dad was having the same problem with squirrels tight-roping the wire he had strung between two trees. So he cut a hole in a plastic plate and strung it through on both sides. Then some squirrels got wise enough to go up his bamboo stalk until the weight had it bow over towards the feeder! Once on the feeder, they throw as much seed on the ground as they could before falling off or getting knocked down.

We had all the neighborhood buzzards in our corpse pile yesterday. At least they're eating well LOL

[ - ] Anus_Expander 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 15:32:14 ago (+1/-0)

I have coons in my back yard, I put out cat food for the furry lil fellers

[ - ] ruck_feddit 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 14:07:55 ago (+1/-0)

Look into flybait and Mt dew. You'll know it's the right stuff, because it says "not for racoons" on the can. You'll find them with their face still in the bowl.

[ - ] MAGANDN 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 10:12:33 ago (+5/-4)

I also want to add that last fall as I was omw home from work a family of them was crossing the road. I tried to smash all of them but was only able to smash 3 of them. One big one was flattened and 2 were small and were disintegrated. The other big one that I didn't hit looked sad and sniffed at the corpses. I Whipped around to nail it while it was commiserating but it ran off. I hate those fuckers.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 11:07:56 ago (+3/-0)

Some COON LOVER down voted you but this is the exact kind of revenge I long for.

[ - ] MAGANDN 2 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:34:19 ago (+2/-0)

Yeah coon lovers or coons, no difference

[ - ] anrach 2 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:34:06 ago (+2/-0)

Damn son, that's some Cannibal Corpse shit.

[ - ] MAGANDN 4 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 12:36:28 ago (+4/-0)

I live in the deep woods. It's do or die and my food forest is more important than any coon. They are all dead. Especially after seeing the fuckers strip my corn. Each wasted kernel is a dead coon in my book. No matter the cost.

[ - ] Prairie 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 22, 2023 02:00:58 ago (+0/-0)

Raccoons

'Coons

[ - ] ItsOk2bArian 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 19:57:05 ago (+1/-1)

Ok so here is what you do. Live capture a bunch of raccoons and stick them in a cage. Leave them in there till the biggest, meanest one kills and eats the rest. Now you have a cannibal coon (good band name). Release him back to the wild so he can go eat more coons. Problem solved

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 25, 2023 09:01:22 ago (+0/-0)

Cannibal Coon, I want that on a shirt just like the band logo.

[ - ] gardella 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 19:23:21 ago (+0/-0)

Keep the dog in the hose with a dog door. Second the Anatolian/Kangle mix, tough fast and ruthless to invading animals. The other thing to get is an electric fence. available at TS old car battery and a small solar cell.:
https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/starkline-electric-poultry-netting-42-in-x-164-ft-pn42164?cid=Shopping-Google-Product-1554685&gclid=CjwKCAiA9NGfBhBvEiwAq5vSy5LZmPBStjD0hltJ1MdU5fM5yh9SxQvpBROPfsbwux_tmDqtieIulhoC-WsQAvD_BwE

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 25, 2023 09:04:58 ago (+0/-0)

We have an electric fence from Premier 1, but it's not getting hot enough. Another thing to troubleshoot. The birds keep flying over it (42") so I'm considering clipping their wings but that seems silly to do for a chicken and then they wouldn't be able to fly away if a stray dog or something did come into the yard during daylight hours.

[ - ] RobertJHarsh 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 18:34:57 ago (+0/-0)

Possums are pieces of shit too.

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 16:11:59 ago (+0/-0)

THIS THREAD WACK AS FUCK HOW IM POSED TO TALK ABOUT MY DICK IN HERE

[ - ] JoggerLogger 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 15:58:22 ago (+0/-0)

make your problem into a hat.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 25, 2023 09:26:17 ago (+0/-0)

Hey, great minds think alike! I've already been practicing, got a fox squirrel pelt but messed up the tail. Any coons I catch will be worn as trophies, that's for sure.

[ - ] jigganiggaboo 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 15:42:51 ago (+0/-0)

Set traps and dispatch them. Use hand traps so dogs and cats cant get the bait or get trapped only racoons unless you want to get cats and dogs

[ - ] FacelessOne 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 15:09:17 ago (+0/-0)

17hmr

[ - ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 14:52:36 ago (+0/-0)

Disney made one of those live action shorts when I was a kid about two raccoons breaking into a cabin. They had those little hands…. For years, I wanted my own raccoon. Now I live in the country and don’t find them so adorable. Those little shits cause a lot of problems around here.

[ - ] SkullFuckerSupreme 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 21, 2023 13:38:31 ago (+2/-2)

Get gun. Fill trash can with odiferous treats for rascal raccoons... Set trash can in middle of wide open area...with a shot possible from your window.

Set up a camera to know when they are usually active.
Now you have that time... Set your alarm. Red light doesn't spook em as bad.

Be a good shot.

Or you can just cage the fuckers.

https://www.wildlifecontrolsupplies.com/removal/Raccoon_Woodchuck_Traps.html