My neighbor. She's single. She's shapely & beautiful and she lives right across the street.
I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door.
I opened the door, she looked at me and said, "I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and have fun tonight. Are you doing anything?"
"An American goes to Moscow and asks a citizen why cant you criticize Putin? In America we can go to the steps of the white house and freely say Fuck Joe Biden and not get arrested. The Russian replies. "So what! We also can freely walk up to our Kremlin or the red square and say Fuck joe biden too!"
A man and woman are lying in bed at night, and the wife asks the husband, "If I were to die, would you remarry?" To which the husband replies "I guess so". Irritated, the wife asks "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" The husband thinks for a minute and says "Probably" The wife then asks, with gritted teeth, "Would you let her use my golf clubs" Without a second of hesitation the husband replied "No." Relieved, but confused, the wife asks "Why not?" To which the husband responds "She is not left handed"
An old couple dies in a car accident. They go straight to heaven and are given a tour by St. Peter himself. - Look, there's the villa where you'll live, complete with tennis court and swimming pool. The recreation center is a few streets away and there are also a few golf courses. If you're thirsty or hungry, you can go to one of the pubs and restaurants nearby. Everything is free and you'll feel very happy here. At which St. Peter smiles and says goodbye. The man turns to his wife and says; - Really, Alice! If you hadn't harped on about that nasty wholemeal muesli and skimmed milk, we could have lived here for fifteen years!
Weak as fuck I know, but I saw an obese, hairy, smelly, ugly poojeet woman with a short chubby balding chink and their son. And I pondered what does a poo and a chink make? Besides ugly offspring.
