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Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan

...from San Antonio. They were perfect and he was very happy with them.

But that same a night, a cougar came up on the porch and tore his new boots into little tiny pieces!

Well, Roy was furious of course, and swore to hunt the big cat down and kill it.

After three days he finally tracked the cat down and shot it DRT.

Riding back to the ranch with the dead cat draped over his saddle, he was spotted by one of the hands, who pointed and asked,

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that got yer new shoooeeesss?"

...his funeral will be held tomato at 10.

Acne doesn’t come on a boy’s face until he is 13.

...and a frozen beer all have in common?


Somebody forgot to pull it out in time.

Amazing

...but a human can run faster than a shark...


...so in a triathlon it's always going to come down to a question of "who's the better cyclist?".

...a well dressed man on a bike, and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?


Attire.

A receding hare line.

...but now I use my hands.

Because they're fucking assholes.

...cumming in a woman?

"Loading the Dishwasher."