That sucks , baby I watch is 8 months . I knew she was going to be soon but she crawled for the first time today. I sent the video to her mother.if the baby would have held out by one day one of parents would have been the first to see her. Im happy the baby is finally mobile but it always makes me a little sad when I'm the first to see the milestones.
After what I think has been a very rocky first year of marriage, my husband finally got through to me and I've discovered what he figured out awhile ago... I'm quite bossy.
Now, he has his own demons and I know he's been working very hard on them, so I know it's in both of our best interests for me to fix my problems too.
Enter "The Surrendered Wife". I googled "how to be less bossy" and "how to be less controlling" and this book came up. I read it in two days and I love it. I'm just starting out trying the methods and was curious if anyone else had read it or would be open to reading it and discussing it here.
The biggest revelation for me has been that almost everything I'm saying that I think is "helpful" is really just communicating to him I don't trust his abilities. Additionally, if I really want to have a traditional marriage (and not be constantly stressed out) I need to give up doing the household finances - this hasn't been broached yet because I also know he doesn't really want to do them, so I'm waiting for a good moment to explain that I can't do it anymore and I need his help.
Anyway, thanks for listening to this and I would welcome any productive thoughts!
I've been tweaking my personal style over the past few months and thought I would share my results.
Before I started this, I wore a lot of pants, gym wear and tomboy clothes - leggings, bike shorts, band/concert tshirts, etc. I started noticing my peers at the playground , also wearing the same, compared to older women you might see at the grocery store, who are much more put together. Even my mom still dresses well to do chores, with blouses and slacks. I started to become self-conscious because bike shorts don't convey dignity and when you compare modern clothes with what our grandmothers wore, we may as well be wearing underwear. Modern fashion, just like everything else it seems, is a race to the bottom. We know this and we can do better, so I set out to update my style.
I started incorporating more skirts into my repertoire, still wearing tshirts but now with a high-waisted A-line instead of pants. I try not to wear pants unless I have a flowy blouse. The litmus test on whether my outfit is appropriate is if my grandmother saw me in it, would she approve?
It hasn't been long but I'm really enjoying the challenge. I love it when my husband comes home and says I look great. And I should look great, it's the least I can do when he has to look at sweaty beer gut guys at work. When I run errands, people are friendlier and nicer to me. I stand out. Skirts are cool and more forgiving than shorts. It sets a good example to my children, who I am also trying to dress more respectfully.
I'm still stumped on what to wear for getting dirty. An apron works in the kitchen but what about when you're cleaning or going to the gym? I don't want to sweat in my nice clothes or scrub the tub in a skirt.
Has anyone else started dressing more classically feminine? How is it working out?
This young woman is so cute. Her sincere wish and drive to be more feminine shines through. This is one of her more surface-level videos but has good reminders.
But, she tends to get criticized for not falling in line with the holocough from her “friends” who seem to think I, as her husband, am forcing her to not wear a mask or get vaxxed.
I said to her I thought it was rude that they would think she can't even think for her self, she replied "what is wrong with me just wanting to follow my husband anyway?"
The list was taken from a 50s book dedicated to new wives.
Enjoy!
1. Throw back the covers 2. Open up the blinds and windows 3. Freshen up 4. Make and serve breakfast 5. Clean up breakfast 6. Complete a 10-minute exercise regime 7. Shower, do hair and make-up, get dressed 8. Gather a basket for tidying. As the rooms of the home are tackled, pick up items that aren’t where they belong and place them in a basket. Redistribute them where they should be as you enter a new room 9. Straighten up the living and dining room, including picking up potential clutter, light dusting, fluffing / straightening pillows, and watering plants or flowers 10. Make the beds 11. Tidy the bedroom, including light dusting 12. Hang up any clothes that may be about or ensure dirty ones are in the hamper 13. Do a light tidy of the bathroom including removing and replacing used towels, refilling toilet paper and soap (if needed) and cleaning the sink and basin area including soap dishes 14. Review the menu for the current day and the next and compare it to what’s currently available in the home. Make note of anything that needs to be prepared ahead of time or marketing (shopping) that needs to get done 15. Begin long-advance preparations for dinner (such as making dessert) 16. Wipe down kitchen work surfaces and inside the fridge 17. Dispose of garbage 18. Rinse dish cloths and hang to dry 19. Sweep or mop the kitchen floor 20. Handle errands that might take you out of the home (such as marketing, volunteering, going to the post office, getting an item fixed, etc), bookkeeping, correspondence, or indulge in a hobby 21. If returning from the grocery store, wash vegetables, wrap them and put them away. Place rest of groceries or purchases in their proper place 22. Have a quick lunch. 23. Start advance food conditioning like crisping vegetables or thawing frozen foods 24. Handle weekly chore for the day 25. Set the table for dinner 26. Arrange the living room for evening enjoyment (such as your man’s newspaper or book) 27. Do a quick sweep of the floors and ensure entrance ways are clear 28. Prepare a special dish for dinner 29. Freshen up before the husband returns from work. Consider changing into something more festive if the day dress is plain 30. Set out a tray with equipment for making cocktails, should your man want to serve drinks before dinner 31. Greet husband “gayly” 32. Serve dinner 33. Clear table and wash dishes 34. Pour boiling water down the sink to ensure pipes are flushed 35. If necessary, pack the husband’s lunch for the next day. Set aside a lunch tray in the refrigerator for yourself if having leftovers 36. Set table for breakfast 37. Ensure breakfast foods are available and do any make-ahead preparations for it 38. Enjoy an evening of relaxation
Once-a-week chores:
• Use metal polish on bathroom fixtures • Clean and disinfect all kitchen appliances • Scald and disinfect bread boxes and garbage pails and bins • Replace flowers with fresh bouquets
In addition, laundry should be done at least twice a week (including bedding) and floors should be mopped / vacuumed on a similar schedule.
There is also a recommendation in there to try to squeeze a 10 – 30 minute nap in the afternoon (if not because you’re actually tired but to “look more refreshed” for your man when he gets home).
Cleaning products should include baking soda, vinegar, lemon, castile soap and borax – not to mention a good deal of elbow grease. Use things like cheese cloth, rags and old newspapers instead of paper towels.
A husband shouldn’t expect to be waited on hand and foot. He is fully capable of putting away his coat when he arrives home, fetching and putting away the objects he uses and properly hanging and / or putting his clothes away after undressing. Extras like helping with the dishes after dinner are considered "courteous contributions."
