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Jokes

Community for : 3 years

All the jokes fit to print.

Owner: Centaurus

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17
What's Another Phrase for a Black Tranny?     (Jokes)
submitted by Scyber to Jokes 4 days ago (+17/-0)
15 comments last comment...
Troon coon.
30
Four engineers get into a car, but the car won’t start...     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 4 days ago (+30/-0)
10 comments last comment...
The Mechanical engineer says, "It's a broken starter."

The Electrical engineer says, "It's a dead battery."

The Chemical engineer says, "There must be impurities in the gasoline."

The IT engineer says, "Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car and get back in?"
33
Why do cows have hooves and not feet?     (Jokes)
submitted by Sheitstrom to Jokes 1 week ago (+33/-0)
7 comments last comment...
They lactose.
15
Another St Patrick’s Day Joke     (Jokes)
submitted by TheOriginal1Icemonkey to Jokes 1 week ago (+15/-0)
5 comments last comment...
What is the difference between St. Patrick’s Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On St. Patrick’s Day everyone wants to be Irish!
3
St. Patrick’s Day Joke     (Jokes)
submitted by TheOriginal1Icemonkey to Jokes 1 week ago (+4/-1)
4 comments last comment...
Have you heard of the gay Irish couple?

Gerald Fitzpatrick & Patrick Fitzgerald
8
Excellent comedian against the bullshit     (x.com)
submitted by Crackinjokes to Jokes 1 week ago (+10/-2)
2 comments last comment...
21
I accidentally drank from a jar of invisible ink     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 1 week ago (+21/-0)
6 comments last comment...
I’m currently at the hospital waiting to be seen.
24
Did you hear about the mechanic that was caught having sex with auto parts?     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+24/-0)
16 comments last comment...
He got off with a suspension.
22
A guy walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist...     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 2 weeks ago (+22/-0)
1 comments last comment...
"I've gotta know, does Viagra really work?"

The pharmacist replied, "It sure does. In fact, I use it myself."

"Good to know. Can you get it over the counter?"

"Well, yes, if I take two of them."
11
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her parents that she has missed her period for two months     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 2 weeks ago (+13/-2)
9 comments last comment...
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life."

"Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again."
38
A boy and his father go together for a boys’ day out at the zoo. “Daddy, I don't like how that gorilla's looking at me from behind the glass. It's really scary!” said the boy.     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 2 weeks ago (+38/-0)
9 comments last comment...
In a hushed voice the father replied, “Shhh, Jason! This is only the ticket booth.”


34
I have a date with a woman from a sewing machine factory     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+34/-0)
9 comments last comment...
She seams nice.
36
The janitor lady at work asked me if I wanted to smoke some weed with her this afternoon. I turned her down, though     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+37/-1)
16 comments last comment...
I don't like high maintenance women.
10
norm jokes     (youtube.com)
submitted by GreenSaint to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+10/-0)
2 comments last comment...
4
Why doesn't Mexico ever send people to compete in the Summer Olympics?     (Jokes)
submitted by PoundOfFlesh to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+4/-0)
1 comments last comment...
Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are already in the U.S.


... this joke was much more funny 30 years ago. Now it doesn't even work because to cross the border these days you don't need to run, jump, or swim. Just have a pulse and you'll get in... plus free room and board.
15
Therapists only want one thing     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 3 weeks ago (+16/-1)
3 comments last comment...
And it's fucking discussing!
13
What's a Rabbi's Favorite Way to Cook Meat? original content     (Jokes)
submitted by Scyber to Jokes 4 weeks ago (+13/-0)
6 comments last comment...
Using a Gorge Foreskin grill.
17
What’s the difference between an ass-kisser and a brown-noser?     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 4 weeks ago (+17/-0)
3 comments last comment...
Depth perception.
19
Great joke. Soon women will know what it feels like.     (m.youtube.com)
submitted by Crackinjokes to Jokes 1 month ago (+20/-1)
5 comments last comment...
7
I'm A Satin Worshipper original content     (Jokes)
submitted by oyveyo to Jokes 1 month ago (+8/-1)
10 comments last comment...
Feels good man
19
I need to get a new chess set because all my pawns are damaged and sticky     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 1 month ago (+20/-1)
6 comments last comment...
I should have never left them in the same box as the bishops.

30
My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date -- they said she was imaginary     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 1 month ago (+30/-0)
3 comments last comment...
Ha ha, well the jokes on them. They're imaginary, too!
22
Today I was at the bookstore     (Jokes)
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 1 month ago (+22/-0)
11 comments last comment...
As I was wandering around, the clerk stopped me and offered to help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"

The clerk angrily replied, "Fuck off! Get out and stay out!"

I said, "Yes! That's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
22
A jew is driving around in its pedo van all day until it spots some kids playing. It stops the van and asks them…     (Jokes)
submitted by King_Leopold_II to Jokes 1 month ago (+22/-0)
9 comments last comment...
Hey kids, would you like to buy some candy?
6
Why do Italians make terrible programmers?     (Jokes)
submitted by The_Reunto to Jokes 1 month ago (+6/-0)
3 comments last comment...
Spaghetti code