Aposematic Signs to Avoid for CouplingIn evolutionary biology, aposematic signals, such as vivid colors or distinct markings, warn predators of an organism’s toxicity or danger (Poulton, 1890). In human mate selection, certain self-harming behaviors in women may serve as analogous warning signs. These behaviors indicate psychological instability, impulsivity, or incompatibility.
These traits, rooted in physical or emotional damage, elevate the risk of relationship dysfunction or divorce. This article identifies eleven aposematic signs, ordered by severity of self-harm. They evoke disgust in the neurologically typical human brain, an evolved response to cues of instability or unfitness in a potential partner (Buss, 1989). Each sign is supported by psychiatric, psychological, or medical evidence.
Promiscuous Loss of VirginityPromiscuous loss of virginity inflicts emotional and physical self-harm. It erodes intimacy, increasing risks of infidelity and betrayal. These are linked to insecure attachment or histrionic traits (American Psychiatric Association, 2013; Schmitt, 2005).
It also raises the likelihood of STDs (e.g., HPV, hepatitis B/C), impairing health and causing congenital abnormalities in offspring (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2021). The typical brain finds this repulsive, perceiving threats to trust, health, and reproductive success (Buss & Shackelford, 1997).
Single MotherhoodChoosing single motherhood, often from impulsive or failed relationships, imposes chronic stress. This raises risks of anxiety and depression (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
Children from another man, carrying “foreign sperm,” evoke disgust due to evolved concerns about paternal certainty (Buss, 1989). This self-harming decision, potentially tied to borderline personality traits (Linehan, 1993), is repulsive. It signals relational instability and reduced partner reliability (Geary, 2000).
Plastic SurgeryCosmetic surgery (e.g., rhinoplasty, breast augmentation) is invasive self-mutilation. It is often driven by body dysmorphic disorder (DSM-5; Phillips, 2005).
It risks death or permanent disability from complications (e.g., anesthesia failure, severe infection) and causes scarring or psychological distress (Sarwer et al., 2004).
The typical brain finds this repulsive, reacting to unnatural alteration45 and mental instability (Thornhill & Gangestad, 1999).
PiercingA single piercing (e.g., nose, lip) entails deliberate injury, risking infection and tissue damage. Such behaviors correlate with impulsivity and sensation-seeking.
These traits are associated with Cluster B personality disorders (DSM-5; Cyders & Smith, 2008). The typical brain perceives piercing as repulsive, reacting to self-inflicted harm as a marker of psychological risk (Rozin & Fallon, 1987).
TattooA single tattoo scars the skin, a self-harming act risking deadly infections (e.g., hepatitis B/C, MRSA) (Mayo Clinic, 2022). It is linked to impulsivity and identity instability (Swami et al., 2016).
The typical brain finds tattoos repulsive, associating them with defacement, health risks, and poor decision-making (Buss, 1989).
Dyed HairChemically dyeing hair damages follicles, causing breakage and scalp irritation. Toxins (e.g., ammonia) pose health risks (Nohynek et al., 2004).
This self-harming act, sometimes tied to histrionic traits (DSM-5), signals a willingness to sacrifice health for attention. The typical brain perceives dyed hair as repulsive, reacting to unnatural alterations (Rozin et al., 1993).
Long Hair Without a HaircutUniformly long hair without front trimming (a basic haircut) is self-harming neglect. Unmaintained hair becomes brittle and unhygienic.
This may indicate depressive or avoidant tendencies (American Psychological Association, 2019). The typical brain finds this repulsive, signaling mental illness or lack of self-awareness (Gangestad & Scheyd, 2005).
Long NailsExcessively long nails weaken nail beds, risking infection and fungal growth. This is a self-harming act of vanity.
Such behaviors may align with obsessive-compulsive or narcissistic traits (DSM-5; Pincus & Lukowitsky, 2010). The typical brain perceives long nails as repulsive, prioritizing aesthetics over health (Rozin & Fallon, 1987).
Painted NailsNail polish, containing chemicals (e.g., toluene), weakens nails, causing brittleness (Schoon, 2010). This self-harming practice is linked to compulsive grooming (Rappoport, 2015).
It reflects an unhealthy focus on appearance. The typical brain finds painted nails repulsive, associating chemical damage with instability (Buss & Shackelford, 1997).
Heavy MakeupHeavy makeup damages skin via clogged pores and chemical irritation (e.g., parabens) (Darbre & Harvey, 2008). It is often tied to body dysmorphic disorder (DSM-5).
This self-harming behavior masks natural features. The typical brain perceives it as repulsive, detecting inauthenticity and health risks (Thornhill & Gangestad, 1999).
Revealing ClothingHighly revealing clothing, signaling attention-seeking and potential promiscuity, is a self-harming act. It is often associated with histrionic personality disorder (DSM-5; Bornstein, 1998).
It undermines relational trust. The typical brain finds such attire repulsive, evoking disgust at cues of infidelity (Tybur et al., 2009).
ConclusionThese self-harming behaviors act as aposematic signals, warning of psychological or physical instability. Such instability may destabilize relationships.
Psychiatric and medical research links these traits to disorders (e.g., body dysmorphia, histrionic personality) or health risks (e.g., infections, toxins). These impair relational functioning (American Psychiatric Association, 2013; Mayo Clinic, 2022).
The neurologically typical brain, shaped by evolutionary pressures, perceives these traits as repulsive. It prioritizes partners who exhibit health, stability, and fidelity (Buss, 1989). Men evaluating potential spouses may consider these signs to reduce risks of relationship failure.
ReferencesAmerican Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Washington, DC: APA.
Bornstein, R. F. (1998). Histrionic personality disorder: A review of available data. Clinical Psychology Review, 18(6), 657–678.
Buss, D. M. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 12(1), 1–49.
Buss, D. M., & Shackelford, T. K. (1997). Susceptibility to infidelity in the first year of marriage. Journal of Research in Personality, 31(2), 193–221.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021). Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs): Health consequences. Retrieved from
https://www.cdc.gov/std/health-consequences.htmCyders, M. A., & Smith, G. T. (2008). Emotion-based dispositions to rash action: Positive and negative urgency. Psychological Bulletin, 134(6), 807–828.
Darbre, P. D., & Harvey, P. W. (2008). Paraben esters: Review of recent studies of endocrine toxicity. Journal of Applied Toxicology, 28(5), 561–578.
Gangestad, S. W., & Scheyd, G. J. (2005). The evolution of human physical attractiveness. Annual Review of Anthropology, 34, 523–548.
Geary, D. C. (2000). Evolution and proximate expression of human paternal investment. Psychological Bulletin, 126(1), 55–77.
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: Guilford Press.
Mayo Clinic. (2022). Tattoos: Understand risks and precautions. Retrieved from
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tattoo-risksNohynek, G. J., et al. (2004). Safety assessment of personal care products/cosmetics and their ingredients. Toxicology and Applied Pharmacology, 243(2), 239–259.
Phillips, K. A. (2005). The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
Pincus, A. L., & Lukowitsky, M. R. (2010). Pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 6, 421–446.
Poulton, E. B. (1890). The Colours of Animals: Their Meaning and Use. London: Kegan Paul.
Rappoport, J. (2015). Compulsive grooming behaviors and their psychological correlates. Journal of Behavioral Therapy, 40(3), 123–130.
Rozin, P., & Fallon, A. E. (1987). A perspective on disgust. Psychological Review, 94(1), 23–41.
Rozin, P., et al. (1993). The nature and acquisition of a preference for natural foods. Appetite, 20(3), 189–208.
Sarwer, D. B., et al. (2004). Psychological aspects of cosmetic surgery: A review. Clinical Psychology Review, 24(7), 777–797.
Schoon, D. D. (2010). Nail Structure and Product Chemistry. New York: Milady.
Schmitt, D. P. (2005). Sociosexuality from Argentina to Zimbabwe: A 48-nation study of sex, culture, and strategies of human mating. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 28(2), 247–311.
Swami, V., et al. (2016). Tattooed and pierced: The prevalence and psychological correlates of body modification. Body Image, 18, 112–120.
Thornhill, R., & Gangestad, S. W. (1999). The scent of symmetry: A human sex pheromone that signals fitness? Evolution and Human Behavior, 20(3), 175–201.
Tybur, J. M., et al. (2009). Disgust: Evolved function and structure. Psychological Review, 116(4), 937–956.
