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Was driving down the road when I saw a dude walking carrying a gas can. He was White so I gave him a ride. Turns out he was a preacher.
So, of course, down the road a ways I see a nigger walking. Now what to do? I want to hit the jig but this preacher is Right Here. So I form a plan. I pretend to doze off and swerve over closer to the coon. I hear a huge BANG! I asked, "OH dear, did I hit that feller!?"
To which the preacher said, "No, you missed it, but you got close enough for me to get it with my gas can!!!"

The story I heard years ago.

Obozo woke up one in the Whitehouse one winter morning and looked out the window. What he saw pissed him off so bad he Demanded the secret service to investigate. Someone had written Barry sucks in the snow with their pee.
A few hours later the ss came back with their report. They said, "Sir. We have some answers for you. The urine tested out to belong to George Bush Jr."
Obozo started ranting, "I KNEW IT WAS THAT PUSSY!", when the ss said, "Yes Sir. It was his DNA but it was in Michelle's hand writing!"

Others have shared stories so I thought I would also.

This one teacher was a short, fat, jerk of a guy. There were two girls setting in front of me. One was a loud mouth, the other was a very quiet and shy girl. Ol loud mouth was, running her mouth and the "teacher" told her to stop talking. She cussed him and started yammering about her daddy would blah blah blah. So this retard of a teacher, being afraid of loud mouth, gives the quite, shy girl a paddling! WRONG MOVE DUDE!
The next morning that quite, shy girl's dad came to school. This Man was about 6'6" tall. He had worked in rock quarries his whole life! He looked the way Louis L'Amour describes Tell Sackett. Broad shoulders and narrow hips and whatever he put his hands on generally moved!
This tall, quite, rock of a Man dragged that fat teacher out of his class room a Beat the living dog shit out of him!
In those days if a teacher was going to paddle a girl he had better make sure she was really guilty of what he said she was getting the paddling for!
NOBODY said One word to that parent!
The fat stupid teacher quit right there! LOL! He moved back up north. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
That was awesome.

I'm on the pot. Please advise.

I couldn't afford one of those ancestry dna kits.

So I announced that I had won the lottery and soon found out who all my relatives were!

If I do this right i think I will be able to thyme travel!

For some reason that's not allowed in bowling.

I know that now.

I haven't seen this one yet. I hope It wasn't already posted.
38 is simply too young to die.