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Capri Sun is the most anoying beverage

submitted by oyveyo to ShowerThoughts 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 16:59:11 ago (+11/-1)     (ShowerThoughts)

It's delicious. You want to drink it hard, fast, and in great quantities.

But they only give you a very small amount, in a pouch, with the world's smallest straw.

Fuck you, Capri Sun.


33 comments block

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[ - ] lord_nougat 8 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:05:05 ago (+8/-0)

[ - ] oyveyo [op] 2 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:17:56 ago (+2/-0)

Kek

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 2 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:12:53 ago (+2/-0)

And it's hard to pop the straw into. I always feel like an ax murderer when I do it. Thunk thunk dammit! Thunk swish ahhh

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 2 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 18:11:36 ago (+2/-0)

You start sucking on the straw before you push it into the pouch. No squirts and it punches in easily

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 2 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 18:20:44 ago (+2/-0)

I feel gayer now.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 3 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 18:32:43 ago (+3/-0)

It’s only gay if you look the Capri Sun in the eyes.

[ - ] Her0n 3 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 19:19:26 ago (+3/-0)

Or if your bags touch.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 2 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 22:06:15 ago (+2/-0)

Haha! You sick fuck.

[ - ] AngryWhiteKeyboardWarrior -1 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 23:33:43 ago (+0/-1)

Instructions unclear, I've sucked the straw and pushed the straw into my peehole, but the Capri-Sun isn't open yet. Help me brother I'm thirsty

[ - ] puremadness 1 point 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:41:20 ago (+1/-0)

I will teach you how to hold the hole area flat.

[ - ] Jimmycrackerson 1 point 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 19:12:08 ago (+1/-0)

I used to hold the pouch upside down and puncture the bottom. Sure it won't stand up, but I was drinking the whole thing in 15 seconds anyways.

[ - ] puremadness 2 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:33:56 ago (+2/-0)

Get some apple juice, its basically the same and you can buy it by the gallon.

[ - ] Gowithit 2 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:36:32 ago (+3/-1)

"basically" but kind of not.

[ - ] puremadness 2 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:39:34 ago (+2/-0)

I you were to experiment a bit you could probably figure out the mix of apple and other juices but its main is apple.
Either way doesnt matter because once you're swiggin down apple juice, the demon is defeated, plenty good to chug.

[ - ] Prairie 1 point 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 20:13:33 ago (+1/-0)

I'm pretty sure the main ingredient is some kind of sugar.

[ - ] Imsickofmakingusernames 0 points 2 monthsApr 13, 2025 00:58:09 ago (+0/-0)

Anymore sugar is less worrisome than the high frustose corn syrup, roundup ready and aspartame. Godknows what else we haven’t discovered yet or they are developing in some deep underground military base.

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:41:32 ago (+1/-1)

I haven't bought capri sun since in years. Ever since the mouse in the pouch scandal.

[ - ] puremadness 3 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:42:55 ago (+3/-0)

yea me either, its just too expensive and my dad taught me unit price math.
So I can never justify it, but thats good because I find replacements that are better.

[ - ] BoozyB 1 point 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 20:47:02 ago (+1/-0)

Leave that crap in the store.

[ - ] Imsickofmakingusernames 1 point 2 monthsApr 13, 2025 00:55:32 ago (+1/-0)

And then there’s Sunny D which only comes in industrial vats. You buy it once and it’s a lifetime supply because the only time anyone drinks it is after years of forgetting it’s just fermented puke with orange dye.

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:10:38 ago (+1/-1)

Right? The most dangerous straw in the world with the flimsiest of plastic that clings and you hope to God you blew hard enough to get any that got in there out and the accidental inhale where you think fuck now I'm going to die from double checking this fucking straw GODDAMIT.

[ - ] HelenHighwater 0 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:40:55 ago (+0/-0)

I always 'harpoon' through both sides of the pouch. IF you blow air into them, they will discharge their contents onto your lap.

[ - ] MasklessTheGreat 0 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 18:03:48 ago (+0/-0)

Wash down your goy slop with that poison, faggot.

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 18:10:26 ago (+0/-0)

I had one recently.

Bland and disapointing.

[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 18:28:00 ago (+0/-0)

goyslop

[ - ] oyveyo [op] 2 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 19:16:24 ago (+2/-0)

Yes, food is bad.

That's the fucking world we live in. Not everyone was fortunate enough to be born with a fucking silver spoon in their mouth and 5000 acres of land to farm on.

You gotta eat, and the fucking food is at the fucking store and it's too much fucking trouble to travel across fucking town to find an organic fucking grocery store with fucking astronomical prices. Fuck you and your snooty "goyslop" shit comment.

[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 23:22:15 ago (+0/-0)

Damn man, what crawled up your ass. I can't afford shit, I basically have one foot on the street.

[ - ] oyveyo [op] 0 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 23:45:13 ago (+0/-0)

My apologies, I didn't notice the sub.

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 2 monthsApr 13, 2025 00:02:12 ago (+0/-0)

dollar tree has reusable drinking pouches with straws. Fill it up with some juice and
https://files.fatbox.moe/8y67mx.png

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 0 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 18:31:04 ago (+0/-0)

I remember their little jingle. Creates addiction.

[ - ] Imsickofmakingusernames 1 point 2 monthsApr 13, 2025 01:02:04 ago (+1/-0)

Soda, OJ, Purple Stuff…. Sunny Delight…

[ - ] Imsickofmakingusernames 1 point 2 monthsApr 13, 2025 01:04:25 ago (+1/-0)

No one will ever beat

Crispy, crunchy, tender, flakey, crust

Hot Pocket

[ - ] Master_Foo -1 points 2 monthsApr 12, 2025 17:16:09 ago (+0/-1)

Capri sun is just juice concentrate with sugar added.