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Capri Sun is the most anoying beverage

submitted by oyveyo to ShowerThoughts 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 16:59:11 ago (+11/-1)     (ShowerThoughts)

It's delicious. You want to drink it hard, fast, and in great quantities.

But they only give you a very small amount, in a pouch, with the world's smallest straw.

Fuck you, Capri Sun.


33 comments block

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[ - ] lord_nougat 8 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:05:05 ago (+8/-0)

[ - ] oyveyo [op] 2 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:17:56 ago (+2/-0)

Kek

[ - ] puremadness 2 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:33:56 ago (+2/-0)

Get some apple juice, its basically the same and you can buy it by the gallon.

[ - ] Gowithit 2 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:36:32 ago (+3/-1)

"basically" but kind of not.

[ - ] puremadness 2 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:39:34 ago (+2/-0)

I you were to experiment a bit you could probably figure out the mix of apple and other juices but its main is apple.
Either way doesnt matter because once you're swiggin down apple juice, the demon is defeated, plenty good to chug.

[ - ] Prairie 1 point 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 20:13:33 ago (+1/-0)

I'm pretty sure the main ingredient is some kind of sugar.

[ - ] Imsickofmakingusernames 0 points 2 weeksApr 13, 2025 00:58:09 ago (+0/-0)

Anymore sugar is less worrisome than the high frustose corn syrup, roundup ready and aspartame. Godknows what else we haven’t discovered yet or they are developing in some deep underground military base.

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:41:32 ago (+1/-1)

I haven't bought capri sun since in years. Ever since the mouse in the pouch scandal.

[ - ] puremadness 3 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:42:55 ago (+3/-0)

yea me either, its just too expensive and my dad taught me unit price math.
So I can never justify it, but thats good because I find replacements that are better.

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 2 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:12:53 ago (+2/-0)

And it's hard to pop the straw into. I always feel like an ax murderer when I do it. Thunk thunk dammit! Thunk swish ahhh

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 2 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 18:11:36 ago (+2/-0)

You start sucking on the straw before you push it into the pouch. No squirts and it punches in easily

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 2 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 18:20:44 ago (+2/-0)

I feel gayer now.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 3 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 18:32:43 ago (+3/-0)

It’s only gay if you look the Capri Sun in the eyes.

[ - ] Her0n 3 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 19:19:26 ago (+3/-0)

Or if your bags touch.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 2 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 22:06:15 ago (+2/-0)

Haha! You sick fuck.

[ - ] AngryWhiteKeyboardWarrior -1 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 23:33:43 ago (+0/-1)

Instructions unclear, I've sucked the straw and pushed the straw into my peehole, but the Capri-Sun isn't open yet. Help me brother I'm thirsty

[ - ] puremadness 1 point 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:41:20 ago (+1/-0)

I will teach you how to hold the hole area flat.

[ - ] Jimmycrackerson 1 point 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 19:12:08 ago (+1/-0)

I used to hold the pouch upside down and puncture the bottom. Sure it won't stand up, but I was drinking the whole thing in 15 seconds anyways.

[ - ] Imsickofmakingusernames 1 point 2 weeksApr 13, 2025 00:55:32 ago (+1/-0)

And then there’s Sunny D which only comes in industrial vats. You buy it once and it’s a lifetime supply because the only time anyone drinks it is after years of forgetting it’s just fermented puke with orange dye.

[ - ] BoozyB 1 point 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 20:47:02 ago (+1/-0)

Leave that crap in the store.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 0 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 18:31:04 ago (+0/-0)

I remember their little jingle. Creates addiction.

[ - ] Imsickofmakingusernames 1 point 2 weeksApr 13, 2025 01:02:04 ago (+1/-0)

Soda, OJ, Purple Stuff…. Sunny Delight…

[ - ] Imsickofmakingusernames 1 point 2 weeksApr 13, 2025 01:04:25 ago (+1/-0)

No one will ever beat

Crispy, crunchy, tender, flakey, crust

Hot Pocket

[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 18:28:00 ago (+0/-0)

goyslop

[ - ] oyveyo [op] 2 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 19:16:24 ago (+2/-0)

Yes, food is bad.

That's the fucking world we live in. Not everyone was fortunate enough to be born with a fucking silver spoon in their mouth and 5000 acres of land to farm on.

You gotta eat, and the fucking food is at the fucking store and it's too much fucking trouble to travel across fucking town to find an organic fucking grocery store with fucking astronomical prices. Fuck you and your snooty "goyslop" shit comment.

[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 23:22:15 ago (+0/-0)

Damn man, what crawled up your ass. I can't afford shit, I basically have one foot on the street.

[ - ] oyveyo [op] 0 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 23:45:13 ago (+0/-0)

My apologies, I didn't notice the sub.

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 2 weeksApr 13, 2025 00:02:12 ago (+0/-0)

dollar tree has reusable drinking pouches with straws. Fill it up with some juice and
https://files.fatbox.moe/8y67mx.png

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 18:10:26 ago (+0/-0)

I had one recently.

Bland and disapointing.

[ - ] MasklessTheGreat 0 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 18:03:48 ago (+0/-0)

Wash down your goy slop with that poison, faggot.

[ - ] HelenHighwater 0 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:40:55 ago (+0/-0)

I always 'harpoon' through both sides of the pouch. IF you blow air into them, they will discharge their contents onto your lap.

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:10:38 ago (+1/-1)

Right? The most dangerous straw in the world with the flimsiest of plastic that clings and you hope to God you blew hard enough to get any that got in there out and the accidental inhale where you think fuck now I'm going to die from double checking this fucking straw GODDAMIT.

[ - ] Master_Foo -1 points 2 weeksApr 12, 2025 17:16:09 ago (+0/-1)

Capri sun is just juice concentrate with sugar added.