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20

… so I was sitting at the bar tossing back a few fireballs.

submitted by Steelerfish to Jokes 6 monthsNov 13, 2024 22:54:14 ago (+20/-0)     (Jokes)

The bartender asked if any of us knew CPR.
“I know CPR” I said. “ I also know the rest of the alphabet too“……

Everyone around the bar had a chuckle and laughed.
….except for this one guy.


9 comments block


[ - ] Fishsticksforever 0 points 6 monthsNov 14, 2024 12:06:55 ago (+0/-0)

Show this to everyone...CPR saves lives.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aWNEU6bIJsk

[ - ] Sector2 1 point 6 monthsNov 14, 2024 09:36:39 ago (+1/-0)

The first element of CPR is calling 911. You're moving blood through their body so it can extract the remaining oxygen, but that's going to run out. If there's no medical help on the way, you're wasting your time.

[ - ] NeverHappened 1 point 6 monthsNov 14, 2024 11:04:08 ago (+1/-0)

"You in the red shirt! Call 911!" It's true though. If there is no one else to make the call you should do that prior to attending to the person for the reason you just stated.

[ - ] con77 0 points 6 monthsNov 14, 2024 07:30:34 ago (+0/-0)

The new CPR protocol consists only of compressions.

Sorry to @TheBigGuyFromQueens

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 1 point 6 monthsNov 14, 2024 08:34:46 ago (+1/-0)

I know. Force of habit. A-B-C.

[ - ] NeverHappened 1 point 6 monthsNov 14, 2024 11:02:28 ago (+1/-0)

Hilariously, "Stayin' Alive" and "Another One Bites The Dust" are easy ways to maintain proper rhythm of compressions.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 3 points 6 monthsNov 14, 2024 00:12:34 ago (+3/-0)

I know CPR but will not use it on non-whites and even half the whites I need to know how they vote before I help them.

[ - ] dass 4 points 6 monthsNov 14, 2024 03:32:51 ago (+4/-0)

I know mouth to mouth but hopefully wont forget in those cases and just tightly pinch the nose closed, clamp the jaw shut while bending my face in real close and slowly whispering 'how you like these apples?'.
'Seemed to have had a seizure, officer'

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 2 points 6 monthsNov 14, 2024 06:52:39 ago (+2/-0)

I actually started CPR on a Black hotel employee. He fell down and cracked his head open on the stone floor. I didn't know what the fuck was going on when I immediately rushed over. He was unresponsive, so I stuck my finger in his mouth and made sure there was no gum or anything in there and popped his head back to open his airway and begin CPR, but then I realized he was foaming and it wasn't a heart attack or stroke, but a grand mal seizure and I stayed with him until the ambulance came. He is not a niggerish one, so he was grateful, but my company was kikelike when they refused to acknowledge my service in any way--most likely due to potential liability issues. Fucking scumbags.