At the ¼ Mile drag strip. The slowest car of the top fuel class is the main villain, a sore looser with an ugly black paintjob. Gets laughed at for being so slow and useless.
At the next race shows up with a badly mounted Porsche hull instead of his former body. Identifies as a street car now, demands to be put in street car stick shift class.
Top performer in said street car class is a Porsche girl. She‘s furious that the judges even consider letting the villain change into her class. Says it’s ridiculous, he doesn’t even have a manual gearbox. Everybody tells her not to be trans-phobic. Says the races will not be the same if he can compete with street cars. Gets told not to be race-ist. Says that black car will ruin everything. Villain responds with, so it’s just because I’m black, huh! She tries to reason and points at the difference in weight of the cars, gets told to stop fat-shaming.
Meanwhile little Timmy one day comes home from school and identifies as an EV now. Gets his tailpipe removed with an Axe from a surgeon. Surgeon isn’t even a car, but a bike. A bike with a rather long rounded front fender. The exhaust now makes horrible, embarrassing sounds. Little Timmy is mortified, realizes he will never be a true EV. Surgeon makes an axe wound to Timmys C-pillar so he can plug in the Charging cable. Timmys new charging port begins to rust and smells bad. He also has to dilate it every day.
Bonus joke: A race car fills out the form to enter the race. “Make and Model? N” everyone looks up “I” everyone gasps “double…” he gets interupted and shouted at. He looks up confused and says “what’s wrong with being a Nissan”
"On Thanksgiving night, a group of disgruntled toy store employees begrudgingly arrive for work to open the store at midnight for the busiest shopping day of the year. Meanwhile, an alien parasite crashes to Earth in a meteor. This group of misfits led by store manager Jonathan (Bruce Campbell) and longtime employee Ken (Devon Sawa) soon find them themselves battling against hordes of holiday shoppers who have been turned into monstrous creatures hellbent on a murderous rampage on Black Friday."
