so I'm laying here farting in bed, and I thought "man if I had a gf I couldn't fart right now. should I try to get a GF?" - Upgoat

I ate on a pot of beans for three days last week and let a fart that could end a marriage. It was like a 14 second fart and it was putrid and made the house stink for about 45 minutes. She just sprayed Febreze but then it smelled like rain forest with a big pile of shit in it.

[ + ] anon

[ - ] anon 4107316 0 points 3 monthsJan 26, 2025 10:54:44 ago (+0/-0)

I recommend you purchase some Blunt Spray if this pot of beans is a thing for you.

[ - ] CHIRO 6 points 3 monthsJan 26, 2025 10:04:48 ago (+6/-0)

What kind of adolescent shit is this? I usually make it a point to fart in front of girls I'm interested in before I even express my interest so they know what to expect and that I don't give a fuck. You will never deprive me of the simple things in life.

Holding a fart in. What's next? I can't piss as hard as I possibly can to eventually crack the porcelain with my godlike stream? Gtfo.

I could be William Wallace and avoid being drawn and quartered if I just don't fart. And I would fart while screaming FREEEEEDOM.

[ + ] anon

[ - ] anon 1403657 1 point 3 monthsJan 26, 2025 11:06:34 ago (+1/-0)

Aye! FREEDOM!

[ + ] anon

[ - ] anon 3619803 [op] 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2025 03:18:22 ago (+1/-0)

Yeah but I don't want to hear a complaint even once, so meh

[ - ] anon 3680734 2 points 3 monthsJan 26, 2025 10:03:59 ago (+2/-0)

Postwallhelena doesn’t mind if you fart in the bed…

[ + ] anon

[ - ] anon 1403657 1 point 3 monthsJan 26, 2025 11:06:59 ago (+1/-0)

I hear she dutch ovens herself.

[ + ] PostWallHelena