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Back in the early mid-late 20th century it was a yearly tradition for girls who've reached the age of 16 to impress upon men the endearing and submissive qualities expected of them as well as the physical capabilities comparative to household duties and, most importantly, nightly carnal obligations.

Before a girl of proper age could date and court pre-adult men of brutish strength, deft in demeanor and of superior intellectual quality with a healthy pessimistic personality, they had to compete with each other with the intent of proving that they were of worthy status.

I'll never forget the night of the big clash when buddy and I had a dozen dames competing for our flimsy affection. After being deluged with phone numbers, chicken kiev recipes and week old g-strings, the one minute prep ring was given and the girls lined up for the take-off. I'll never forget that night, buddy who was in charge of the starter pistol accidentally had his mother's 38 S&W Snubby and when he discharged it the "plus p" rnd went right into the forehead of the town clerk who was there to hand out marriage certificates to the successful recipients...any broad who finished the derby without requiring medical assistance from either the local alcoholic doctor or the veterinarian was marriage material.

Then one day Joan Biez and Hellen Reddy showed up and that was the end of tradition as we knew it.

I'm sure all you guys can relate.