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all those wasted years!

submitted by boekanier to Jokes 7 monthsOct 5, 2024 01:59:01 ago (+2/-0)     (Jokes)

An old couple dies in a car accident. They go straight to heaven and are given a tour by St. Peter himself.
- Look, there's the villa where you'll live, complete with tennis court and swimming pool. The recreation center is a few streets away and there are also a few golf courses. If you're thirsty or hungry, you can go to one of the pubs and restaurants nearby. Everything is free and you'll feel very happy here.
At which St. Peter smiles and says goodbye. The man turns to his wife and says;
- Really, Alice! If you hadn't harped on about that nasty wholemeal muesli and skimmed milk, we could have lived here for fifteen years!


7 comments block


[ - ] iSnark 1 point 7 monthsOct 5, 2024 05:32:52 ago (+1/-0)

I don't get it....

What is this saying?

[ - ] boekanier [op] 1 point 7 monthsOct 5, 2024 05:39:22 ago (+1/-0)

aha, rack your brains!

[ - ] Nosferatjew 2 points 7 monthsOct 5, 2024 06:07:04 ago (+2/-0)

Can't rack what you don't have.

[ - ] iSnark 1 point 7 monthsOct 5, 2024 13:09:26 ago (+1/-0)

I think there is a cultural aspect to this that is preventing me from "getting" this...

[ - ] iSnark 1 point 7 monthsOct 5, 2024 13:15:36 ago (+1/-0)*

Here I fixed it for you!


An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.

Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area,” said Peter.

“Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t insisted on exercising three times a week and eating that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat food!”

[ - ] Bonanza 1 point 7 monthsOct 5, 2024 13:39:44 ago (+1/-0)

The fix for the win.

[ - ] iSnark 1 point 7 monthsOct 5, 2024 13:20:05 ago (+1/-0)

I submit this:


A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”

“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”