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Anons of Upgoat - I'm going through a ton of emotional bullshit and don't know what to do.

submitted by anon to askanon 1 monthMar 10, 2024 06:41:45 ago (+5/-3)     (askanon)

I'm seriously coming to you guys for advice because I don't know who else to talk to about this. These are serious issues that I can't bring up at work or ask my friends. I don't have any close family to talk to other than my mom who's involved in this situation.
This is a long post and if you're gonna read it all, scroll to the big reveal.


TL;DR: Got evicted from my place & currently staying with my nagging bitch of a mother who won't shut the fuck up about me moving out as soon as possible (even though it's next to impossible to find an apartment) so her boyfriend can move in, but I know the reason why he NEEDS to move in with her and she doesn't know that I know (yet).



I've been going through an eviction and appeal since April, 2023. The appeal is still ongoing but I was evicted from my apartment due to my lawyer fucking up my case & promising the landlord that I would pay a certain amount of money by a time frame that I told my lawyer that I couldn't do, because I knew the money transfer into my bank account would take longer than 5 business days. In the end my lawyer made a deal with my landlord behind my back. My appeal is still open but I was evicted from my apartment January 29th - 2 days before I was scheduled to move. I put a deposit down for the movers & got a storage locker for my stuff a week before the 31st. I lost the deposit from the movers ($150).

My mom let me move in with her for 3 months while I save up for a new place. She's not asking for any rent, but wants me to help out around the house.
The past month now, she's getting really bitchy. Nagging me about when I'm finally gonna leave so she can "live her life in her own space." Ok, fine, I get it. But she gave me 3 months and I told her that I was gonna need all 3 months to save up because rents have gone up a lot in my area and a lot of places are requiring double/next to double security deposits which is shocking to me, because I haven't looked for a new apartment for almost 6 years, and rents have almost doubled in 6 years too.

I'm the only child and never had the best relationship with my mom. We both have been through a ton of emotional drama in our lives and we're both at our wits end. My real father died when I was a baby and my mom raised me while sleeping around with other guys for a couple of years until she landed on a mine - a Vietnam Vet who was exposed to Agent Orange with a severe drinking problem and a hair-trigger temper. To make this part quick, there was a TON of physical, emotional and psychological abuse from him and my mom growing up. I'm seriously surprised that we're still alive or that I'm not in prison for killing him or my mom.
Thank God that asshole died in 2019 because he wouldn't have lasted through the scamdemic with all health problems.

About 3 months after he died, my mom started dating a new guy. I don't know how they met, but I instantly didn't like him when I first met him. I couldn't put my finger on it, something just seemed off about him.
My mom started spending a lot of time with him - taking weekend trips and having his family over for Thanksgiving and Christmas that year, where I found out he has 4 adult kids. Only one came with him - the legit mentality ill lady about 5 years younger than me, who has 4 kids of her own, which were all with their different dads - That's when I knew something was really wrong.

In early 2020 I asked my mom about the whole situation and told her I didn't fee comfortable around her boyfriend and his family. She got upset and we got into a huge argument. I stopped all contact with her just before covid hit in March, 2020 and went about my life. Things were good for while, I got a better job and casually dated a few chicks after the lockdowns were lifted. Nothing serious, it seems like serious relationships don't exist in the dating world anymore.

Fast forward to last December and my mom and I started talking again. I was lonely during the holidays because my 3rd GF broke up with me, and my mom said her boyfriend moved to a different state for work. I told her about my eviction appeal and she felt bad and said if anything happens that I could stay with her for a while until I get back on my feet.
By January I knew I was gonna need her help because my landlord's secretary called me about the deal my lawyer did with the landlord.

Fast forward to now & I'm staying with my mom. And she's getting really snappy with me. I work part-time because I'm disabled and get SSDI money every month. I'm a homebody and rarely go out because I'm in my 40s. My mom doesn't like it and calls me lazy and puts me down.

Yesterday we got into a huge fight. She keeps repeating herself when she argues.
I told her that I won't talk to her unless she talks to me like a sane person without an attitude.

She finally broke down and told me that she's gonna have her boyfriend move in soon because his job in another state is almost over and he's gonna need a place to live while he looks for work here.

I lost my shit. Started screaming that she's choosing her boyfriend over her own child like she did all the time with her abusive Nam Vet husband while I was growing up. She hasn't fucking changed.
I told her that I never had a mother growing up and that's all I wanted.
She snapped back and threatened to call the cops on me for raising my voice in her home and she'll tell them that I'm not welcomed there anymore - It's happened to me when I was a teen.

Then I asked her why couldn't her boyfriend get his own apartment? If he's coming home from a completed job in another state, then he should have plenty of money to find an apartment - Why do I have to move just so he can move in? Plus he has 4 kids - Why can't he stay with them if he needs to get back on his feet.
Then I asked her if he was in jail and she did one of those little nervous "No" chuckles and that's when I knew THAT was it.


THIS IS WHERE IT GETS SPICY!!!

I did some digging around in the basement and found an old empty prescription pill bottle that had her boyfriend's name on it, so I looked up his name in our state's jail and prison records and....



THE MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT IS IN PRISON FOR POSSESSION OF 8 COUNTS OF CHILD PORN. NOT ONLY THAT, HIS CASE DELAYED A HUGE FUCKING NATIONALLY KNOWN TRIAL BECAUSE HE HAD THE SAME JUDGE!

I couldn't fucking believe it.

Now, my mom doesn't know that I know about all this, but NOW I'm REALLY fucking furious and scared for her well-being if she actually lets this piece of fuckin shit pedo into her house.

What the actual fuck do I say?
How do go about approaching this without my mom flipping out on me and calling the cops because I know the truth?

What about my dumbfuck lawyer? Do I have grounds to sue him for doing a deal with my landlord behind my back and forcing me to take the deal to lighten his workload?

I'm going through so much emotional turmoil.

Screenshot of a news story written about the chomo




16 comments block

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[ - ] dirtywhiteboy 6 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 07:47:34 ago (+6/-0)

gonna have to just grow some balls and put yourself in a different type of uncomfortable situation. id just leave and go live out of a truck bed or some shit.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 08:32:23 ago (+2/-0)

Probably get an old school bus for cheap and gut it out. Old delivery van could work too.

Not sure how much rent was, but should be enough to cover a vehicle.

Fairly certain mom knows what she's getting into.

[ - ] anon 3069219 3 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 08:04:02 ago (+3/-0)

"Started screaming that she's choosing her boyfriend over her own child"
Fail... Imagine you are a lower class woman with child, what dream for kiddos future? 40Y/O disabled boy man to live in your home and cramp style? Why isn't she invited to your sprawling estate with split rail fencing and equestrian stables? Dream for her child was not what is. Sorry, having a perceived miserable failure shoved in her face daily is pain.

GF? You? Why? For recreational sex? To clean up after you? You don't have to be with anyone- break the programming.

So many random problems just fall on your head, should probably check the person in the mirror.

Jabroni, know your damn role. At least be kind.

Fast and pray.

[ - ] anon 2116558 3 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 07:24:32 ago (+3/-0)*

I'm disabled and get SSDI money every month

Been noticing the gimps getting together more lately. Find a woman that is also disabled and betwixt you both you can live semi-comfortably. There are housing programs for disabled people have you tried applying? Find a woman with a kid and it's an automatic in.

As for your mother, what would you have done if she wasn't around during your eviction? She's useless pretend she's not an option because she isn't one. Her well-being is not your concern.

Just saw screenshot - Gross, thats the best she could pull?

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 3 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 07:05:32 ago (+3/-0)

AYO NIGGUH GO GET U A ID THAT SAY JUAN RAMOS N LIVE IN A LUXURY HOTEL IN NYC B SMART U HEARD

[ - ] anon 2941437 1 point 1 monthMar 10, 2024 13:27:59 ago (+1/-0)

i'm sorry dude. your mom is filth. walk away, no matter how difficult. sometimes youre better off sleeping in a barn than being around some people. the weight of bad decisions can build up and be such a burden that they'll crush you. here's my advice.

1) select a good solid pair of shoes/boots.

2) select a good solid set of clothes.

3) select a good solid duffel. a miliary rucksack is an excellent choice.

4) get a pocket bible, and a couple other books on philosophy or classics on subjects that interest you.

5) if you have a small portable device, grab it or get one. a handheld radio is a smart choice too.

6) socks and underwear. a weeks worth. solid, warm, durable.

7)grab personal hygene stuff. razors, toothbrush, etc.

8) take all of your junk and sell it just to get rid of it. select your treasures, put them in a box, and ask someone you trust to hold them for you for a few years.

9) walk away. someone you love and are dependent on has chosen an actual pedophile over you. walk out the door and never return. you're a dependent of the state and a pedo sympathizer. you done fucked up.

10) its actually a bonus if you don't have a car. its just something else to worry about. you can ride the rails, sleep in barns, day labor. you have no right to choose, you stopped providing for yourself years ago. you will bve grateful to have a barn to sleep in.

11) before long, you will meet people and find that millions of other people are in your exact same position. meet them. talk with them. build your own communities with them. be useful and dont bitch. good luck to you.

[ - ] purityspiral 1 point 1 monthMar 10, 2024 12:36:06 ago (+1/-0)

going to help you

Stop letting others dictate your terms.
Do not take from others.
Leave, face the cold, do it alone, dont fucking fail.

You are in charge of you now. Good luck. This fixes very little, the rest belongs to you.
No matter what is next... it belongs to you.

[ - ] anon 3047784 1 point 1 monthMar 10, 2024 10:53:54 ago (+1/-0)

You've made it clear that her only goal in life is to have a man and she likes bad men. What she does is none of your business. Family is supposed to take you in and she's failed at being family.

You have one problem and only one. Finding an apartment. Instead of focusing on that you're wasting YOUR time trying to walk around inside a woman's head who does not want to be your family. Yes she's fucked up and you're not going to change that. Nobody is.

Even if she had no designs on any man, you wouldn't live with her and live peacefully. Stop giving a shit about what words come out of her mouth.

[ - ] anon 2571595 0 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 12:42:55 ago (+0/-0)

This is the most solid advice. Mom should be a non-issue at this point. Don’t get trapped by the trauma she put you through. Focus on yourself and your situation and how to improve it.

[ - ] anon 2900788 1 point 1 monthMar 10, 2024 08:43:36 ago (+1/-0)

You've written this story so that you take no blame in all this. Grow up you're 40 fucking years old. Why were you evicted in the first place? My guess is it was your fault. Maybe you're legitimate about your SSDI but it's hard for me accept, to me it seems like most people that use my tax dollars for a government wage are the same as niggers.

[ - ] anon 1582464 0 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 16:43:17 ago (+0/-0)*

First of all, revealing one's weaknesses or disability is sign of wanting to guilt shame others, it gives the impression of looking for sympathy, it's a weakness that many have....NEVER SHOW WEAKNESS, THE WEAK ARE NATURALLY PREYED UPON, ALWAYS LOOK STRONG AND IN CONTROL, NEVER LET ANYONE SEE YOU AS ANYTHING BUT STRONG...you're not the only one with problems, everyone has a problem(s) unique to their station in life, you either overcome or succumb, nobody can help you other than you...spend 2 minutes of introspection and discover your strengths and capitalize on them...if it takes more than 2 minutes to realize your strengths and attributes then you've never pushed yourself to be strong...seems to me that you've followed the crowd all your life and really never attempted to make things happen, instead you always waited for things to happen...a pity party is gathering of losers who have no direction, get off that path...as a kid I had to live with the aspect of life where "nobody in Russia smiles" life was hell and my father made it that way and was paying room and board at 16years of age ($14.00 per month), my father was a fucking brute, he even broke my nose once at the age of 12 but what I learned from him was that the weak do not survive, not just physically but mentally too...I remember sleeping in my 1964 Merc half ton in mid winter, I was 16years old, I had a quarter tank of gas, a $2.00 bill in my pocket and the mental burden of being locked out of the house, as I'm crunched up on the seat of my truck all I could think of was the comfort of my bed...and I couldn't cry...I had to prove to my old man that I could do it without him...I never looked back...I stayed in school and worked part time in a tire shop and made a decent buck and it was hard work but I didn't give up...self pity is self destructive, toughen up and look for a decent paying job that involves the hard work that most people today won't do....by the way, one guy in the tire shop that I worked with was born with thalidomide defects, right arm shorter than his left and he had only a thumb and a small finger on that hand and on top of that he had a leg brace to prevent his leg collapsing backwards...that guy was as good a worker as any of us no matter what size the tire, wheelbarrow or payloader tire, he did them all, even when he tore a ligament in his bad shoulder he wouldn't quit...and he was still able to laugh at a good joke...he never gave up and never complained....GET OFF YOUR PITY CUSHION AND JUST DO IT...OR CRUMBLE.

[ - ] anon 5717320 0 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 15:00:53 ago (+0/-0)

I stopped reading about a quarter of the way down because frankly none of it's relevant to your situation. You need to be thankful you've got a place to stay rent-free and ignore the nagging and save the money. You need to save the money and then you need to move to a cheaper place to live and you need to get a roommate. And you need to get a job. And you need to stop worrying about with your lawyer figured out a way for you to not pay your landlord or not because in the end if you were renting there you should have paid your landlord. So none of your scheming and going to court about it really matters. Get used to that fact and stop wasting your time on it and spend the time on getting a job and moving on and finding the cheapest place to live with a roommate that you can until you can save up more money and get a better job and make more money. That's what everybody does. Stop worrying about emotional stuff you're not a woman. Are you are you a woman.

If you're a woman forget all that advice because women are f**** crazy and never take responsibility for anything well that's not actually true a hell of a lot of them go out there and just do what's necessary would just get a job and pay their bills.

In any case forget all the emotional stuff it's ridiculous. Be thankful you've got somebody who'll let you live with them for rent free. Save the money get the job. Your mom gets to live her own life.

She raised you she kept you fed whatever she had to do she did. You have absolutely no right to criticize her at all get off your f**** ass.

[ - ] The_Reunto 0 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 11:27:56 ago (+0/-0)

No idea on the legal specifics but by hiring a lawyer you usually give them the power to make decisions on your behalf.

As for your mother, it sounds like you need to make some distance with that.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 0 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 08:38:59 ago (+0/-0)

Let her know that you know.

[ - ] anon 3586927 0 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 07:27:52 ago (+0/-0)

That sounds a mess. If you're in your 40s your mom is OLD - and she has "boyfriends"? What the utter fuck.

Does she know about the porn? Or she knows and doesn't care? Your mom's boyfriend might even be dangerous.

I have no advice to offer save to say tread carefully around him. I hope you get things sorted and your life gets back on track.

[ - ] anon 2689184 0 points 1 monthMar 10, 2024 07:15:56 ago (+0/-0)*

Well, just tell her that he is a pedo. Even if your mother is weird, I don't think she likes pedos. Anyway, she is definitely not normal. Maybe she is schizophrenic. There are many such cases.

Your laywer cannot make any deals without asking for your approval first. This is illegal. If you sue him, he can lose his licence, or even end up in jail for malpractice. I think he will pay you good money to let him stay clean.