submitted by Centaurus to Jokes2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 18:25:15 ago (+12/-1) (Jokes)
#1.
I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization. When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.
#2.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender walks over and says “We’ve got a drink named after you!” The grasshopper replies, "You've got a drink named Eugene?
#3.
The repairs on Big Ben are expected to take 3 years. Which is quite a long time considering they're working around the clock.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head.
He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him in the face, and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!”
The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?”
The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The 69 year old alcoholic, amateur bartender stumbles over and says, “We’ve got a drink named after you!” hic The grasshopper replies, "You've got a drink named Eugene?"
Hey, now, hey. Some of us professional alcoholic barmen know what a grasshopper cocktail is. It's like a West Indies Yellowbird, but slightly more popular than a shot of the liquid collected in used bar mats.
[ + ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey
[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 4 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 18:46:05 ago (+4/-0)
Violets blue
I hate niggers
And jews
[ + ] Centaurus
[ - ] Centaurus [op] 5 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 18:50:05 ago (+5/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 20:17:54 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] HelenHighwater
[ - ] HelenHighwater 2 points 2 monthsFeb 16, 2024 09:42:16 ago (+2/-0)
He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!”
His mother smacks him in the face, and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!”
The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!”
His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?”
The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
[ + ] Sleazy
[ - ] Sleazy 3 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 22:19:48 ago (+3/-0)
A pretty young woman walked over and sat down next to my boss man and says to him, "mmm you smell good, what do you have on?"
He says, "I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it!"
[ + ] Smedleys_Butler
[ - ] Smedleys_Butler 2 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 21:00:29 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] big_fat_dangus
[ - ] big_fat_dangus 2 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 18:41:54 ago (+3/-1)
[ + ] Cantaloupe
[ - ] Cantaloupe 1 point 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 21:26:38 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 20:16:53 ago (+1/-0)
Interesting.
[ + ] Centaurus
[ - ] Centaurus [op] 2 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 20:38:33 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] GreenSaint
[ - ] GreenSaint 1 point 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 19:40:31 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 20:20:35 ago (+1/-0)
This doesn't make my top 5 but it's this scene that makes it worth the watch.
[ + ] UncleDoug
[ - ] UncleDoug 1 point 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 18:30:34 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Centaurus
[ - ] Centaurus [op] 5 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 18:47:24 ago (+5/-0)
The grasshopper replies, "You've got a drink named Eugene?"
[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry
[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 2 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 18:49:51 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 2 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 20:25:11 ago (+2/-0)
I heard it sells well in Israel.
[ + ] UncleDoug
[ - ] UncleDoug 1 point 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 20:53:59 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 3 points 2 monthsFeb 15, 2024 21:30:20 ago (+3/-0)