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...and one of the conditions of his imprisonment is that he can only say two words every ten years, on pain of execution.

After the first ten painful years, the guard comes in and asks him, "What two words?"

Sergei thinks about it, looks down at his frost-bitten toes and fingers and says, "Too cold."

The guard leaves and comes back with a winter coat, wool hat, mittens, socks and boots.


Ten more years go by, and the guard returns. "What two words?", he asked.

Sergei thought and looked down at his pinched shrunken tummy and said, "More food."

The guard leaves and schedules him to receive double his normal rations one day per week.


Ten more years go by. The guard comes in and asks, "What two words?"

Sergei looks down at his long white beard from all of his years in the gulag, and says, "I'm leaving!"

The guards says, "That's not surprising. Since you arrived here, you've done nothing but complain."