My oldest son just past the two year mark last month. He's begun to excitedly shout "Daddy!" As he comes running to greet me with a hug every morning.
The best response his mother receives is an emphatic "Mama!" acompanied by a hug when he wants food.
I've tried telling her it's great that way because the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but she's not buying it.
Have any of you gentlemen faced this and how did you handle it? I'd like to help ease her mind because this boy clearly loves us both dearly.
She still feels rejected even though he hugs her with great passion daily as well.
Editorial thanks:
This was all helpful, everyone's input has been what I needed to make sure she's shown that she's doing an amazing job, even if she thinks otherwise. Thank you all
There is a saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" that comes to mind here.
He reacts with joy at your presence because you come and go. This is a perk (and a curse) of being a father.
Conversely, it's natural for him to not react that way towards mom precisely because he almost never feels bereft of her presence. If he does, his natural reaction will be to cry.
Neither one of you is more important; that's just how it is.
This is what I was considering as she is home a lot more than I am.
I think her post-partum has set in as well, she's been a little more emotional lately. I'll have to bring it up to her and see if maybe some time to relax would help her.
[ - ] Fascinus 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 00:05:32 ago (+1/-0)
I think her post-partum has set in as well
BLESS YOU for being aware of this. I feel completely remiss in not having mentioned it.
Post-partum is a real thing and you are wise to pay attention to it. Not going to try to tell you how to handle your business and a little extra loving attention (not necessarily physical) from you will go a long way if that is the case.
What do you appreciate about her as a person? As a mother? As a wife?
Take an extra moment here and there to shine your loving approval upon her. Take care to notice and reward her for good behavior as you notice it occurring.
Though you have provided for her to enable her to live her best life, that comes with a cost. There may come a point where she becomes uncomfortable with her body not being her own, or feels like some piece of meat instead of a person. This is all natural and to be expected.
No need to answer and, did you have the placenta encapsulated/tinctured? Now is a good time to encourage her to take both, presuming they are available.
[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 00:12:17 ago (+1/-0)
I often look for ways to reinforce positivity into our lives. We have a cleansing ceremony coming up, and I told her she can take the whole ceremony for herself if she wants as I have arranged for all the children in the neighborhood to be watched by me this year.
She did save the placenta and I'll bring it up to her that it's probably time for it.
I think I have some ideas now thanks to everyone's input on how to show her she's still a wonderful person, partner, and mother.
[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 02:50:18 ago (+1/-0)
I remember you, it's been great to meet you and a few others on these sites over the years. Ten years ago I'd never see myself with kids, let alone being married.
I'm glad I changed my mind, and I'm glad cringeanarchy brought me to voat.
[ - ] Fascinus 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 12:25:01 ago (+1/-0)
Hey, bro.
Something else occurred to me that I feel is worth mentioning: Vitamin D3.
As I recall, you live in the higher latitudes. It will be getting dark quite a bit earlier these days. With the weather turning, it's never a bad idea to consider supplementing with Vitamin D.
If you don't already have a source, I recommend looking for a potent (1000+ IU per drop) sublingual, with Vitamin K if you can get it. Pills are generally not worth taking unless they are mega-dose prescription type.
Not only will it improve mood, it's also great for milk production.
[ - ] MynxiMe 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 02:09:10 ago (+1/-0)
Tell her lots of moms deal with it. Daddy is good times, party time, and wrassling, and that makes dad extra. Mom is the daily life, dad is the good perks. It sucks for a mom sometimes, it often lasts until the kids hit preteens at times. Tell her it's God's order. Daddy is the man of the house. They make dad a hero. Mom will always be the comforter and cuddler. The one the children confide in. Tell her this mom told her it balances out as the children age. She should be thankful she has you, the kids have you, and she gets to be mom and do far more "shaping" of their character than dad..because Dad is gone most of the day. And yes, show her and tell her you love and appreciate her, while you understand her hormones are jacking her up still.
[ - ] bobdole9 1 point 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 22:36:55 ago (+1/-0)
My wife was sad when our middle son made it clear I was his preferred parent. Youngest is under six months, so I'm unsure how to advise other than "give her another child"? Hoping the fun of three children will balance out any hard feelings kiddos sometimes dish out.
Let her try to figure out some special game or activity that only her and kiddo partake in...might be enough to offer a special something even though it's not "direct" affection.
[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 23:54:39 ago (+1/-0)
She said "I'm just a vessel and food source..." one time. I told her "I can't do any of this (gesturing to our boys and the farm) without you."
Makes me sad to hear about White families crumbling. My wife isn't bad at all compared to the typical woman today, I'm glad I was "so damn picky" as my mother put it.
[ + ] Speakfreely
[ - ] Speakfreely 4 points 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 19:22:54 ago (+4/-0)
Also dad is gone more so it’s more exciting when he’s around usually.
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 23:48:17 ago (+0/-0)
We plan on more, but want to give the Mrs a year to recoup first.
[ + ] Speakfreely
[ - ] Speakfreely 1 point 5 monthsNov 9, 2023 06:35:10 ago (+1/-0)
May she heal well and you two continue to flourish.
[ + ] Fascinus
[ - ] Fascinus 4 points 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 19:20:47 ago (+4/-0)
He reacts with joy at your presence because you come and go. This is a perk (and a curse) of being a father.
Conversely, it's natural for him to not react that way towards mom precisely because he almost never feels bereft of her presence. If he does, his natural reaction will be to cry.
Neither one of you is more important; that's just how it is.
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 2 points 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 23:51:21 ago (+2/-0)
I think her post-partum has set in as well, she's been a little more emotional lately. I'll have to bring it up to her and see if maybe some time to relax would help her.
[ + ] Fascinus
[ - ] Fascinus 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 00:05:32 ago (+1/-0)
BLESS YOU for being aware of this. I feel completely remiss in not having mentioned it.
Post-partum is a real thing and you are wise to pay attention to it. Not going to try to tell you how to handle your business and a little extra loving attention (not necessarily physical) from you will go a long way if that is the case.
What do you appreciate about her as a person? As a mother? As a wife?
Take an extra moment here and there to shine your loving approval upon her. Take care to notice and reward her for good behavior as you notice it occurring.
Though you have provided for her to enable her to live her best life, that comes with a cost. There may come a point where she becomes uncomfortable with her body not being her own, or feels like some piece of meat instead of a person. This is all natural and to be expected.
No need to answer and, did you have the placenta encapsulated/tinctured? Now is a good time to encourage her to take both, presuming they are available.
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 00:12:17 ago (+1/-0)
She did save the placenta and I'll bring it up to her that it's probably time for it.
I think I have some ideas now thanks to everyone's input on how to show her she's still a wonderful person, partner, and mother.
As always, thank you
[ + ] Fascinus
[ - ] Fascinus 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 00:16:13 ago (+1/-0)
It's been fun for me getting to take a little part of this adventure with you over the years.
Thanks for sharing :)
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 02:50:18 ago (+1/-0)
I'm glad I changed my mind, and I'm glad cringeanarchy brought me to voat.
[ + ] Fascinus
[ - ] Fascinus 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 12:25:01 ago (+1/-0)
Something else occurred to me that I feel is worth mentioning: Vitamin D3.
As I recall, you live in the higher latitudes. It will be getting dark quite a bit earlier these days. With the weather turning, it's never a bad idea to consider supplementing with Vitamin D.
If you don't already have a source, I recommend looking for a potent (1000+ IU per drop) sublingual, with Vitamin K if you can get it. Pills are generally not worth taking unless they are mega-dose prescription type.
Not only will it improve mood, it's also great for milk production.
Anyway, hope that helps.
Wishing you and yours all the best.
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 22:00:33 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] ItsOk2bArian
[ - ] ItsOk2bArian 2 points 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 19:40:58 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 23:51:45 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] MynxiMe
[ - ] MynxiMe 1 point 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 02:09:10 ago (+1/-0)
It sucks for a mom sometimes, it often lasts until the kids hit preteens at times. Tell her it's God's order. Daddy is the man of the house. They make dad a hero. Mom will always be the comforter and cuddler. The one the children confide in. Tell her this mom told her it balances out as the children age. She should be thankful she has you, the kids have you, and she gets to be mom and do far more "shaping" of their character than dad..because Dad is gone most of the day. And yes, show her and tell her you love and appreciate her, while you understand her hormones are jacking her up still.
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 3, 2023 02:41:20 ago (+0/-0)
I tell her often that without her they can't have a normal life, same as me.
[ + ] bobdole9
[ - ] bobdole9 1 point 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 22:36:55 ago (+1/-0)
Let her try to figure out some special game or activity that only her and kiddo partake in...might be enough to offer a special something even though it's not "direct" affection.
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 23:58:57 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] FreeinTX
[ - ] FreeinTX 1 point 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 19:31:35 ago (+1/-0)
It's coming.
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 23:55:00 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Panic
[ - ] Panic 0 points 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 23:18:26 ago (+1/-1)
"What's wrong babe?"
"Ryan loves you but he only comes to me when he's hungry. I'm just a food source to him!"
Hahahaha! Yes, we're long divorced now.
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n [op] 1 point 5 monthsNov 2, 2023 23:54:39 ago (+1/-0)
Makes me sad to hear about White families crumbling. My wife isn't bad at all compared to the typical woman today, I'm glad I was "so damn picky" as my mother put it.