I saw Death sitting on a park bench the other day; He was reading a newspaper; As I walked by he lowered the newspaper; and our eyes met; "keep walking" he said; But I know one day; he'll say: "Come sit beside me".
Not a bad effort for an Australian - being a people not known for their sensitivity or subtlety - just ask their womenfolk! Your poem has a certain rough-hewn earthy quality about it reminiscent of a newly felled gum tree bleeding from chainsaw cuts with the misspelling "parika" (paprika) enhancing the rough and tumble nature of the rough-hewn phrases. Overall, this is an uncut gem of poetic insight which will, over time, be shaved down to its true glittering core of perception.
That’s a bit presumptuous - how do you know if a nigger won’t stab you and take your life without ceremony, and body slam you onto that park bench next to our dear friend Death?
[ + ] UncleDoug
[ - ] UncleDoug 1 point 1.8 yearsAug 27, 2023 09:41:02 ago (+1/-0)
With parika and pepper
A very spicy death
Haiku certified goats?
[ + ] paul_neri
[ - ] paul_neri [op] 2 points 1.8 yearsAug 27, 2023 19:19:52 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] SumerBreeze
[ - ] SumerBreeze 0 points 1.8 yearsAug 27, 2023 05:27:38 ago (+0/-0)*
[ + ] paul_neri
[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 1.8 yearsAug 27, 2023 05:29:55 ago (+1/-1)
[ + ] SumerBreeze
[ - ] SumerBreeze 1 point 1.8 yearsAug 27, 2023 05:33:26 ago (+1/-0)*
How do you know
if a nigger won’t stab you
and take your life without ceremony
and body slam you onto that park bench
next to our dear friend
Death
[ + ] paul_neri
[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 1.8 yearsAug 27, 2023 06:51:30 ago (+1/-1)
[ + ] paul_neri
[ - ] paul_neri [op] 0 points 1.8 yearsAug 27, 2023 05:30:41 ago (+1/-1)
[ + ] SumerBreeze
[ - ] SumerBreeze 1 point 1.8 yearsAug 27, 2023 05:36:47 ago (+1/-0)