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It is war now you fuzzy tailed nigger rats. I was holding off on pulling my first cantaloupe, hoping it could ripen on the vine, and those fuzzy tailed niggers just stole it.

submitted by ParnellsUprising to Gardening 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 20:08:29 ago (+13/-0)     (Gardening)

You are dead motherfuckers!


12 comments block

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[ - ] Cantaloupe 5 points 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 21:16:02 ago (+5/-0)

Oh mighty cantaloupe god, hear our plea. Why have you taken away our dear friend? He was so young, he had his whole life ahead of him. But yet, this terrible fate has befallen upon him at the hands of a fuzzy-tailed beast. We pray for his soul as it makes its journey into the afterlife. May he find peace and happiness there, free from all harm. And we ask that you give us strength and courage during these difficult times. Help us to overcome our grief and carry on with hope in our hearts. Let us always remember the good times we shared with our beloved cantaloupe, and may they live on forever in our memories.

https://youtu.be/F8MlRGvri-c

[ - ] BulletStopper 3 points 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 20:25:33 ago (+3/-0)

Total nigger rat death!

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 3 points 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 20:18:26 ago (+3/-0)

Fucking garden niggers!

[ - ] Sleazy 2 points 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 20:56:05 ago (+2/-0)

you should have done something about them before the fruit was edible

[ - ] ParnellsUprising [op] 4 points 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 21:35:03 ago (+4/-0)

I've been here 12 years, and never have had a problem.

Granted, I used to have a big old oak tree that used to keep these fuckers fed, but I had to take it down after the last hurricane, as it was dipping perilously close to the house.

Plinker will be here tomorrow, and bodies will be hitting the fucking floor!

[ - ] paul_neri -1 points 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 22:03:30 ago (+0/-1)

Bird-safe netting.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 20:14:26 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Trope 1 point 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 23:55:25 ago (+1/-0)

When I was a kid, I grew a cantaloupe and watermelon vine.

Oddly, only a single cantelope managed to start growing. I excitedly watched it grow each passing day in excitement.

When I finally went to pick it, I was hallowed and eaten.

In frustration, I bunched up the entire vine into a ball and through it away.

[ - ] beece 1 point 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 20:49:42 ago (+1/-0)

Are your cats on vacation?

[ - ] Her0n 0 points 9 monthsJul 31, 2023 00:59:46 ago (+0/-0)

Blowgun will kill them and be quiet enough that none of the other will run.

It's a slaughter.

Maybe even, a holocaust

[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 22:01:51 ago (+1/-1)

Yep.Been there.Learned to harvest before it's done for you by a big, fat, greedy f..king possum!

[ - ] Le_Bucheron 0 points 9 monthsJul 30, 2023 21:13:58 ago (+0/-0)

Your cats are probably jewish. Better start the oven right meow.