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Three women die and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”

submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 15:44:18 ago (+46/-1)     (Jokes)

So they enter heaven, and there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this man!”

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and is very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman exclaims, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”


16 comments block


[ - ] Peleg 5 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 16:16:25 ago (+5/-0)

Hey! Look over there! 👉🏻 About a mile away.
Yep. It's that ducks in heaven joke coming.
LOL

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 3 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 18:35:55 ago (+3/-0)*

Ducks in heaven jokes are one of the toughest genres to pull off. 👈😎👍

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 4 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 19:48:37 ago (+4/-0)

I love how your jokes barely make me chuckle, yet they are so good..👌

[ - ] La_Chalupacabra 4 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 16:16:22 ago (+4/-0)

Are there paper bags in Heaven?
Asking for a friend...

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 2 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 19:57:32 ago (+2/-0)

When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Ooh ooh and she's buying a paper bag in Heaven

[ - ] GrayDragon 1 point 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 22:32:37 ago (+1/-0)

And as we wind on down the road,
Avoiding ducks as we go-o-o!
There walks a lady we all know,
Ugly as fuck, watch your toe!

[ - ] Steelerfish 1 point 11 monthsMay 29, 2023 00:00:00 ago (+1/-0)

Postwallhelena?

[ - ] PrincessRobotBubblegum 2 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 18:03:07 ago (+2/-0)

teehee

[ - ] Thyhorrorcosmic103 1 point 11 monthsMay 29, 2023 07:08:01 ago (+1/-0)

This heaven sound awful.

[ - ] Cantaloupe 2 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 15:53:07 ago (+2/-0)

Lol

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 22:11:51 ago (+1/-0)

This is the funniest one you've posted yet today!

[ - ] GreenSaint 2 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 22:18:46 ago (+2/-0)

I love you honey buns

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 22:20:33 ago (+2/-0)

You looked better in maroon, but I guess new year new color!

[ - ] GreenSaint 1 point 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 22:22:28 ago (+1/-0)

Yea it wouldn’t let me have maroon idk why. Green is my favorite color anyways. It doesn’t rolls off the tongue though

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 2 points 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 22:23:28 ago (+2/-0)

I created a formula that calculates how many posts are needed in order to create the perfect "funniest one you've posted yet, today!"

https://files.catbox.moe/qdt89v.jpg

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 11 monthsMay 28, 2023 22:26:03 ago (+1/-0)

Coming along nicely, I trust!