My dog is a retard - Upgoat - "what's upgoat!"

My dog is a retard
submitted by Nosferatjew to whatever 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 15:37:52 ago (+19/-2) (whatever)

I throw the ball in the same direction, and at the same distance, every time, and she still loses track of it.

I can fucking see it from here you dummy!

36 comments block

sort by: hot new top old low

[ - ] texasblood -1 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 20:33:02 ago (+1/-2)

Dogs reflect owners.
Timeless classic you fucking idiot

[ - ] MasterAce 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 16:39:55 ago (+0/-0)

Sure,but all dogs are retards.oh wait I’m thinking of retards.
Dogs are actually like children except they are covered in fur and when you get old they won’t take care of you.

[ - ] StealthNinjaTaliban 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 23:32:14 ago (+0/-0)

Try throwing it closer to the ground with a few more bounces.

Also you have option to stay the dog, throw the ball while dog is in stay, then release to reward (ball).

[ - ] StealthNinjaTaliban 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 23:33:07 ago (+0/-0)

Try throwing it closer to the ground with a few more bounces.

Also you have option to stay the dog, throw the ball while dog is in stay, then release to reward (ball).

[ - ] bonghits4jeebus 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 12, 2023 01:24:05 ago (+0/-0)

My dog has worse vision than me, I think. Which is saying something. But I've never heard of getting a dog glasses.

[ + ] TomMacdonald

[ - ] TomMacdonald 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 15, 2023 06:55:13 ago (+0/-0)

Lasik

[ - ] herbert_west 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 12, 2023 02:59:59 ago (+0/-0)

Pure socioeconomic factors. Joke aside, get a Border Collie. You'll be amazed at how fast they learn.

[ + ] Nosferatjew

[ - ] Nosferatjew [op] 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 12, 2023 03:17:01 ago (+0/-0)

I have two. One is super smart, the other is a major space case.

[ - ] UncleDoug 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 12, 2023 04:45:14 ago (+0/-0)

Is the ball red, purple or orange?

It probably cant see it because dogs have crappy vision to being with, and its probably blending into the colour of the grass because they have less cones in their eye referred to as dichromatic Blue-yellow vision.

[ - ] 2Drunk 2 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 15:44:21 ago (+2/-0)

Is your dog a sheboon?

[ - ] Peleg 3 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 15:46:28 ago (+3/-0)

Rub some bacon on the ball. She'll find it then!

[ + ] Nosferatjew

[ - ] Nosferatjew [op] 5 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 15:56:47 ago (+5/-0)

Sure she'd find it, but she probably wouldn't bring it back.

[ - ] Her0n 3 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 16:36:26 ago (+3/-0)

What color it the ball?

If you say any other color than blue, then you're the idiot.

Dogs can only see blue truly, everything else is shades of yellow.

Again, if her ball isn't blue, then you're the idiot here.

[ + ] bobdole9

[ - ] bobdole9 1 point 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 17:47:25 ago (+1/-0)

Dogs can only see blue truly, everything else is shades of yellow.

With the shades of yellow...like sepia tone or brighter? Never knew this.

[ + ] Her0n

[ - ] Her0n 1 point 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 19:01:01 ago (+1/-0)

I'm not sure exactly what it looks like. I do know that once I bought all blue toys for my dog she hasn't lost track of any.

[ + ] Nosferatjew

[ - ] Nosferatjew [op] 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 19:13:29 ago (+0/-0)

/sigh... the ball is orange with blue stripes. Generally, when searching for things, dogs don't use the eyes so much, but instead use their noses. So, if the ball get coated in an unfamiliar smell, they'll often lose it, even when it's right in front of them. In today's case, the ball landed in a pile of wet leaves under a tree. It was still clearly visible, but probably wasn't putting off enough of the right scent for her to be able to lock on well enough to find it. She figured it out though when I got closer and pointed at it. She's good with pointing at short(ish) distances.

[ + ] Her0n

[ - ] Her0n 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 19:18:19 ago (+0/-0)

While I agree with what you said, I have yo stop and ask if you honestly just claimed your dog couldn't smell her toy betwixt wet leaves? Is she ill, because that sounds like a bigger issue.

[ + ] Nosferatjew

[ - ] Nosferatjew [op] 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 12, 2023 03:16:00 ago (+0/-0)

She's fine. She fast scans while running. It's easy to miss a subtle/muffled smell when you're running around like a retard.

[ + ] Her0n

[ - ] Her0n 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 12, 2023 08:55:45 ago (+0/-0)

That's good, your original post made it seem worse than that.

[ - ] Inward 3 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 17:15:29 ago (+3/-0)

Do you go get the ball? If so, the dog has you trained.

[ + ] Nosferatjew

[ - ] Nosferatjew [op] 0 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 19:14:04 ago (+0/-0)

She figured it out when I got closer and pointed at it.

[ - ] lord_nougat 5 points 2.2 yearsApr 11, 2023 15:40:36 ago (+5/-0)