submitted by Centaurus to Jokes1.2 yearsFeb 24, 2023 16:59:13 ago (+50/-2) (Jokes)
He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards-- bam! He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!” He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl. The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”
“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”
The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”
“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.” Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
[ + ] Crackinjokes
[ - ] Crackinjokes 5 points 1.2 yearsFeb 24, 2023 17:22:40 ago (+5/-0)
[ + ] Doglegwarrior
[ - ] Doglegwarrior 3 points 1.2 yearsFeb 24, 2023 18:16:06 ago (+3/-0)
Also central America is fucking insanely bad and it's kind of ignored.
[ + ] Monica
[ - ] Monica 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 24, 2023 22:55:07 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Centaurus
[ - ] Centaurus [op] 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 24, 2023 23:33:05 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Feelslikeclownworld
[ - ] Feelslikeclownworld 1 point 1.2 yearsFeb 24, 2023 18:37:14 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 1.2 yearsFeb 24, 2023 17:47:11 ago (+0/-0)