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44

A woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze.

submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 17:20:56 ago (+46/-2)     (Jokes)

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."

"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"Oh, that rose is from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."


27 comments block

sort by: hot new top old low

[ - ] lord_nougat 18 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 17:24:12 ago (+18/-0)

Now everyone who speaks to him sounds like a total pussy!!

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 9 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 18:07:24 ago (+9/-0)

He always smells like he just had sex.

[ - ] dassar 5 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 19:20:47 ago (+5/-0)

Dude now has mumble pants for ears - 'i can see your lips moving but can't hear anything' ...

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 0 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 21:37:26 ago (+0/-0)

His new nickname is "Dumbo".

[ - ] HeyJames 11 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 17:38:56 ago (+11/-0)

This post is a violation of @postwallhelena HIPA rights

[ - ] Sunman_Omega 4 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 18:57:30 ago (+4/-0)

Lmao Careful brah. Roasties get mean af.

[ - ] HeyJames 2 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 19:06:12 ago (+2/-0)

Another post calling me a "bully" won't hurt me

[ - ] PostWallHelena 0 points 2.4 yearsJan 21, 2023 06:11:49 ago (+0/-0)

Primadona shitstirrer.

[ - ] HeyJames 0 points 2.4 yearsJan 21, 2023 12:43:36 ago (+0/-0)

You made a post mentioning me by name lol

[ - ] PostWallHelena 0 points 2.4 yearsJan 21, 2023 14:04:26 ago (+0/-0)

As a primadona shitstirrer.

[ - ] voatersaredumbasses 3 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 20:08:29 ago (+3/-0)

LMFAO!!!!

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.4 yearsJan 21, 2023 00:06:23 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Ragnar 7 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 17:32:06 ago (+7/-0)

The woman is @postwallhelena roastie poastie lolol

[ - ] HeyJames 1 point 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 18:14:04 ago (+1/-0)

Waving those flaps for trump lol

[ - ] kammmmak 5 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 17:54:12 ago (+5/-0)

Listen up pussy

[ - ] xmasskull 5 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 17:25:41 ago (+5/-0)

Got DAMN,Funny! Thanks!!

[ - ] PostWallHelena 5 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 17:25:27 ago (+6/-1)

Oooooooooohhh!
Heeeeeyyyyy!
Ba-dum-bum!

[ - ] ItsOk2bArian 1 point 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 21:42:34 ago (+1/-0)

🥀🥀🥀

[ - ] Wolfspider 3 points 2.4 yearsJan 21, 2023 07:23:57 ago (+3/-0)

The guy in the burn unit was from Nantucket.

[ - ] Monica 4 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 18:18:52 ago (+4/-0)

Must be weird at the Arbys drive-thru.

[ - ] lord_nougat 6 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 18:28:49 ago (+6/-0)

THEY GOTS DA MEATS!

[ - ] AngryWhiteKeyboardWarrior 1 point 2.4 yearsJan 21, 2023 02:32:40 ago (+1/-0)

LOL!

[ - ] Chava70 2 points 2.4 yearsJan 21, 2023 05:55:48 ago (+2/-0)

Made me laugh out loud for the first time in a long time. Thanks!

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 2 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 21:01:01 ago (+2/-0)

He has to scrape the cheese off his ears every two weeks.

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 0 points 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 21:36:43 ago (+0/-0)

The only women that will date him now are lesbians.

[ - ] Hh 1 point 2.4 yearsJan 20, 2023 20:20:02 ago (+1/-0)