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48

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned..."

submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 18:11:18 ago (+48/-0)     (Jokes)

"Go on," says the priest.

"I swore the other day," says the man.

"Continue," replies the priest.

"I was on the golf course the other day and I hit my drive. It was looking perfect, heading dead straight. About 200 yards down, my ball hit a power line crossing the fairway."

"And this is when you swore?" asked the priest.

"No father, my ball then ricocheted off the power lines and flew off into the deep rough," continued the man.

"This must have been when you swore," the priest exclaimed.

"No father, not yet. As I was walking over to the rough to hit my second shot a hawk flew down from the trees, picked my ball up in its beak and proceeded to fly off with it," continued the man.

"Ahhh, I see," says the priest. "This must have been the point where you swore."

"Nope, not yet... the bird flew over the green and the ball fell from its mouth, landing two feet from the hole."

The priest paused for a few seconds and then said, "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"


26 comments block


[ - ] JewChipper 5 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 18:21:26 ago (+6/-1)

A priest, father McConnell has to take a shit really bad so he hops out of the confessional and says to an altar boy man the confessional laddie I'll be right back!!!

Well along comes a bloke and inquires about the empty confessional and is in a bit of an hurry so he asks the altar boy because maybe he knows the pennance...oi boy, what's father McConnell usually give out for fornication??

The altar boy replied, he usually gives me ten bucks and buys lunch.

[ - ] FreeinTX 9 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 19:50:20 ago (+10/-1)

Nice joke, rabbi. Now, do the one about sucking kiddie dicks as part of your religious ceremony.

[ - ] UncleDoug 0 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 23:49:53 ago (+2/-2)

Are you denying the decades of sexual abuse cases perpetuated by the jewlite religion?

[ - ] FreeinTX 3 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 23:56:59 ago (+4/-1)

Christians are not permitted to sexually abuse any Children, ya fuckin' ninny.

Your Talmud allows the sexual abuse of non heeb children. It calls for sucking the dicks of your own children. You worship Satan. You openly fuck white children to death.

[ - ] UncleDoug 0 points 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:17:10 ago (+1/-1)

20th and 21st CE institutionalized Catholic Church, sexual abuse cases say otherwise.

Why are you protecting paedos?

[ - ] FreeinTX 7 points 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:28:12 ago (+7/-0)

Oh look, the dumb fuckin' jew is going to pretend that the Catholic Church is the Christian religion. The stupid fucking jew is going to pretend that the Catholic Church is not openly controlled by his own kind, and that the jew selected pope is not being made to support a one world religion in support of the new world order. And this filthy fucking jew is going to pretend that the bible doesn't clearly state that this will happen and that Christians should not be swayed by the deception.

Your Talmud is Satan worshipping and you're people will lose, again.

[ - ] UncleDoug 0 points 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:34:18 ago (+0/-0)

Oh look, the dumb fuckin' jew is going to pretend that the Catholic Church is the Christian religion.

You don't even know your own religious branch, how is anyone supposed to believe you understand more than dirt?

Christian just means belief in yeshua, I bet you don't even understand the etymology of the word christian.

Division/Schism

Wait until you divergence from a common ancestor in monotheistic religions, lol

[ - ] FreeinTX 0 points 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:43:36 ago (+0/-0)

Oh look, another filthy fucking jew pretending to tell Christians about Christianity.

Christian means the belief in and acceptance of Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior and those people are instructed by God to be warned of the Synagog of Satan and to not fall prey to the exact type of bullshit that you're trying to lay down, right here.

Shouldn't you be sucking a kiddie dick or something?

[ - ] UncleDoug 0 points 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:46:02 ago (+0/-0)

Yeshua is Jesus you nonce, its his real name before it became Anglicised.

You don't even know your own fairytale, lel.

[ - ] FreeinTX 0 points 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:47:30 ago (+0/-0)

Cool story bro. Now, tell me how all your family survived the holocaust and why that means we should give you money.

[ - ] Belfuro 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:17:58 ago (+2/-0)

A tiny fraction of the sexual abuse public school teachers engage in.

Yet you cunts don't give a flying fuck.

Almost like because the public and the media don't give a shit about boys but hate Christianity so took a few dozen awful incidents and blew it way out of proportion. Probably even instigated some of it. To destroy the church

[ - ] FreeinTX 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:29:11 ago (+2/-1)

The (((media))).

[ - ] UncleDoug 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:29:35 ago (+1/-0)

A tiny fraction of the sexual abuse public school teachers engage in.

Thats hard to believe seeing the Catholic Church has been actively covering up paedo priests ploughing through boy bum since the 1940s in almost every developed country on the planet. There are hundreds of thousands of cases from victims of abuse coming from Christian schools, where as a tiny fraction of victims are present in the public school system, even of late.

Marxism, multiculturalism and paedo teachers in public schools have only recently trended around 15years ago.

[ - ] FreeinTX 0 points 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:45:36 ago (+0/-0)

You filthy fucking jews have been raping children to death for literally thousands of years. The Catholic Church isn't the religion, ya dumb fuckin' heeb.

[ - ] ReincarnatedGoat 3 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 21:58:05 ago (+3/-0)

A priest, a monk, and a rabbit walk into a bar.

The bartender approaches the rabbit and asks "what brings you here?"

The rabbit responds " i dont know, i think it was the spell check."

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 3 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 22:01:53 ago (+3/-0)

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he will have.

"Pop," goes the weasel.

[ - ] Sunman_Omega 3 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 21:29:31 ago (+3/-0)

Every once in a while, you post a good one. 👍

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 21:40:46 ago (+2/-0)

I refuse to laugh.

[ - ] anthonylancer 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 20:48:34 ago (+2/-0)

Putt it out my brother

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 09:44:06 ago (+1/-0)

🤣 👍

[ - ] Indoctrinated_USA 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 23:12:54 ago (+1/-0)

Boomer jokes...

[ - ] albatrosv15 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 22:14:40 ago (+1/-0)

Is this about your trauma that you wanted that your father would have fucked a bird hole, not a horse hole? I understand, centaurus, i understand.

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 23:01:30 ago (+1/-0)

If you ever tripped on 10 hits of acid and ran into a gabby talking horse, you would have fucked it, too.

[ - ] SecretHitler 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2023 00:14:13 ago (+1/-0)

That happened to me once but it turned out I was just sitting on the couch the whole time and my girlfriend had decided to watch sex and the city.

[ - ] Rowdybme 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 22:12:16 ago (+1/-0)

I like long jokes

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 0 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2023 23:06:38 ago (+0/-0)