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32

I sent my wife a picture of my flaccid penis.

submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 2.5 yearsDec 3, 2022 17:54:37 ago (+32/-0)     (Jokes)

I just wanted to let her know I was thinking of her.


13 comments block

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[ - ] Peleg 5 points 2.5 yearsDec 3, 2022 18:15:33 ago (+5/-0)

Wouldn't you do that to an ex, not a wife.

Anyway, I know a guy that got way too drunk one night and really did send a picture of his limp little pecker to a bunch of women! LOL one of them said it made her think of a little mushroom pocking up out of a bed of grass! Poor dude! That's what he deserves though for getting that drunk!

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 1 point 2.5 yearsDec 3, 2022 21:09:35 ago (+1/-0)

I think the wife angle is funnier. We'll have to agree to disagree on that one.

[ - ] UncleDoug 4 points 2.5 yearsDec 3, 2022 19:05:08 ago (+4/-0)

This had to be an unaired episode of Married with Children.

[ - ] La_Chalupacabra 2 points 2.5 yearsDec 4, 2022 00:04:47 ago (+2/-0)

PEG!! A FAT WOMAN CAME IN THE SHOE STORE, TODAY!

Attachment: flaccid-penis.jpg

[ - ] Gowithit 1 point 2.5 yearsDec 4, 2022 00:45:59 ago (+1/-0)

texting is a thing in this scenario. Its 2022 Als more malnourished than in the 90's since Peg has become hot cheeto girl. hes conflicted because he knows if he could just muster a little "enthusiasm" big gal is sure to make food for him.

That wouldve been funny. An episode where Al tricks women into dates for a free meal.

[ - ] La_Chalupacabra 3 points 2.5 yearsDec 4, 2022 01:35:34 ago (+3/-0)

How he wasn't drowning in pussy and arterial clotting from all the free meals after scoring 4 touchdowns in a single game for Polk High is beyond comprehension.

4 TOUCHDOWNS IN ONE GAME!

If there is any justice at all left in the world, at least he'll be allowed to be buried with those Jimmy Choo's he swiped from the store for Peg's birthday, if only to know he denied her in death what she lived for in life: something to walk on.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 1 point 2.5 yearsDec 3, 2022 20:20:05 ago (+1/-0)

You had to send dick pics by snail mail when that was on air, unless you expected the receiver to wait two hours for it to download off the bbs.

[ - ] Mestizospic86 1 point 2.5 yearsDec 4, 2022 13:08:35 ago (+1/-0)

There are two type of flaccid penises, one that only gets a little smaller than when erect, and ones that get way smaller than when erect.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 2.5 yearsDec 3, 2022 20:36:39 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 3 points 2.5 yearsDec 3, 2022 20:59:56 ago (+3/-0)

Like I'm fond of saying: give her an inch, and she'll take the entire 3 inches.

[ - ] AmalekTheZOG 2 points 2.5 yearsDec 3, 2022 18:57:28 ago (+2/-0)

Fekkin bootiful.

[ - ] paul_neri 2 points 2.5 yearsDec 3, 2022 18:15:31 ago (+2/-0)

not bad.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 1 point 2.5 yearsDec 4, 2022 06:37:45 ago (+1/-0)

Funny, she keeps sending me pics of her erect penis

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 0 points 2.5 yearsDec 4, 2022 13:20:28 ago (+0/-0)

Sorry bud, but she's an English teacher and knows the proper usage of a colon.