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I'll try to make fewer political posts on paypal, then.

They never took the terms away. It was reported as being in the User agreement but was always intended to be in the Acceptable Use Policy. So when they said it was in the UA by mistake, it wasn't in AUP by mistake.

I literally can not close my account, they won't let me. I get a message that says

"Before You Close Your Account... We're sorry, there seems to be a problem, if you keep seeing this, please contact customer service.

This is fucking insane. How did they think this was good optics?

No concern to me. I have a savings account at a bank, and two checking accounts at two credit unions. The bank savings is where all the goodies are, but has no checks or debit cards nor any contact with the outside world. I use it to withdraw money, then use that money to fund the two checking accounts....one for local purchases of food, bills, etc., the other for online shopping. The local use debit card gets $150 a month, and the online use debit card gets $200 initial deposit, and more added as needed. If Paypal ever tries that crap with me it will discover two things. First being $200 is the absolute most it can access. Second being the credit union is quite happy for me to contest any charge. Paypal already tried to help a seller rip me off over a year ago...it didn't work.

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PayPal can't fine you. That's not what it says. Stop making shit up.