As a person who has owned over 50 dogs in their life, there are 2 thing that I’ve learned... - Upgoat

As a person who has owned over 50 dogs in their life, there are 2 thing that I’ve learned...
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 15:34:05 ago (+35/-4) (Jokes)

1.) Your time with them Is brief, so treasure it.

2.) They LOVE chocolate.

[ - ] Portmanure 4 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 16:54:11 ago (+4/-0)

My wife’s dog got into a Christmas Stocking on Christmas Eve. We saved her but it was touch and go, our vet took a call on Christmas Day, respect to the veterinarians out there.

[ + ] ruck_feddit

[ - ] ruck_feddit 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 17:15:59 ago (+2/-0)

Wow, that'd be terrible. How much under 10lbs does your dog weigh?

[ + ] Portmanure

[ - ] Portmanure 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 17:18:58 ago (+1/-0)

She was an 8lb Pomeranian/chihuahua mix.

[ + ] Aze

[ - ] Aze 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 18:00:07 ago (+3/-1)

Any dog that weighs less then 50 lb is a cat, and cats are useless.

[ + ] RMGoetbbels

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 3 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 18:09:39 ago (+3/-0)

SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH! There is nothing wrong with having a kittay. Ferocious kittay.

[ + ] watts2db

[ - ] watts2db 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 20:11:03 ago (+2/-0)

Im a dog guy but Ive heard if you live in the country they are good mousers. Those types of cats are pretty independent and likely see us eating out of our refrigerators as useless.

In fact Ive read one theory that says when they exhibit that behavior where they bring you their dead catch its not a gift as some people think but rather an example of what they think you SHOULD be doing for yourself.

[ + ] Freesteel1776

[ - ] Freesteel1776 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 21:28:51 ago (+1/-0)

Farm cats are one thing, we have a few.

When our old farm cat died the mice started taking over, and they had the balls to run around the shop.

A couple new cats fixed that.

[ + ] PotatoWhisperer

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 23:36:13 ago (+0/-0)

Some of those farm cats can get rather large for cats.

[ + ] ItsOk2bArian

[ - ] ItsOk2bArian 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 11, 2022 01:58:03 ago (+0/-0)

Feral, the word isn't large, it's feral. I've never met a farm cat that wouldn't just as soon claw the shit out of you as rub on your leg

[ + ] UncleDoug

[ - ] UncleDoug 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 11, 2022 06:49:05 ago (+0/-0)

There are dog breeds that out perform cats when it comes to ratting.

Dogs are superior to cats.

[ + ] ruck_feddit

[ - ] ruck_feddit 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 17:41:25 ago (+1/-0)

That's the ballpark I was thinking you'd say.

[ + ] Portmanure

[ - ] Portmanure 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 18:20:50 ago (+1/-0)

Lol, I reiterate that was my wife’s dog, mine is a 70 pound German Shepard. Although I did grow fond of her little yappers.

[ + ] PotatoWhisperer

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 23:37:44 ago (+0/-0)

Respect to the vet. And it really depends on the size of the dog and the amount of real cocoa in the chocolate. A small bit of hersheys to an 100lb dog isn't going to do much.

[ + ] Portmanure

[ - ] Portmanure 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 23:52:47 ago (+0/-0)

I found her unconscious in a pile of vomit and shit, I couldn’t tell which was which. She was either crapping out aluminum foil or vomiting hersheys kisses wrappers. I hate to remember it but we saved her. It was awful, I had to be the brave guy, my wife was in tears. My children thought it was their fault (it wasn’t.) I cleaned her up called the vet and rushed her off for treatment. I don’t know what the vet did but when I told her it was chocolate she knew exactly what to do. Apparently we aren’t the only fuck ups!

[ - ] boekanier 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 11, 2022 05:22:20 ago (+2/-0)

their time is brief because they love chocolate.

[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 3 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 16:41:03 ago (+3/-0)

1. they are not really that tasty, but will do in a pinch if you are hungry enough.
2. don't let anything in your house that doesn't poop in the toilet.

[ + ] WanderingToast

[ - ] WanderingToast 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 16:47:29 ago (+1/-0)

Yea dog is quite gamey

[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 17:33:05 ago (+1/-0)

Not bad if you marinade it and add a fuck ton of salt. It's pretty much a waste if it's not in a stew.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 16:41:11 ago (+2/-0)

Haha.

[ - ] greatmutaII 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 20:57:27 ago (+1/-0)

As a man that has never owned a dog. I have a few questions.

1. Why the fuck do women get dogs that are so big they can't even take them on a leash? So they have to piss and shit in the yard.

2. Why the fuck do people let their dogs just piss in the backyard? Do they think that it will just 'go away'? Do they not smell the stench?

3. Why do people think it is ok to leave their dogs outside if they bark at every single thing that moves. Disturbing the entire neighborhood?

Thank you

[ + ] PotatoWhisperer

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer 2 points 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 23:40:22 ago (+2/-0)

1. Protection. They don't get how to train the fuckers though, so it ends up being a large nuisance.

2. For the most part, it's outdoors so if you let it rain or water the lawn it goes away. That and not living directly next to each other helps.

3. Some people don't know how to train or take care of their dogs and are unwilling/too stupid to learn. Also: niggers.

[ + ] Freesteel1776

[ - ] Freesteel1776 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 21:30:45 ago (+1/-0)

Tell us more how you live in a subdivision like some Shabbos goy.

[ + ] greatmutaII

[ - ] greatmutaII 0 points 2.7 yearsOct 11, 2022 00:22:49 ago (+0/-0)

Found the shit dog owner too lazy to take them on walks.

[ + ] Centaurus

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 10, 2022 21:39:28 ago (+1/-0)

This and more shall be revealed in my new e-book: What The Hell Is Wrong With People?

[ + ] greatmutaII

[ - ] greatmutaII 1 point 2.7 yearsOct 11, 2022 00:25:17 ago (+1/-0)

I could contribute a few chapters if you need. Chapter one: Why is the line for McDonalds goyslop long enough to spill into the street every morning?