I got my girlfriend a "get better soon" card. - Upgoat

I got my girlfriend a "get better soon" card.
submitted by Centaurus to Jokes 3.4 yearsJan 8, 2022 19:39:00 ago (+38/-1) (Jokes)

She's not sick, I just think she could get better.

[ - ] Spaceman84 3 points 3.4 yearsJan 8, 2022 19:40:56 ago (+4/-1)

I'll help her get batter. My baby batter.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 9 points 3.4 yearsJan 8, 2022 19:43:52 ago (+9/-0)

I dunno, you really think raising a retarded midget is going to help?

[ - ] Spaceman84 3 points 3.4 yearsJan 8, 2022 21:08:53 ago (+3/-0)

I didn't say anything about being a present father. Sheeeeeeeit.

[ - ] Splooge 2 points 3.4 yearsJan 9, 2022 03:38:06 ago (+2/-0)

I'll batter her. I'll beat the shit out of her.

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 1 point 3.4 yearsJan 8, 2022 19:45:45 ago (+1/-0)

LoL. I saw what you did there and fixed it.

[ - ] RecycledElectrons 2 points 3.4 yearsJan 8, 2022 22:09:35 ago (+2/-0)

I gave a girl one of those after a blowjob.

She never called me again.

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 3.4 yearsJan 9, 2022 00:23:21 ago (+2/-0)

You gave her a blowjob?

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 1 point 3.4 yearsJan 9, 2022 07:41:22 ago (+1/-0)

It is so humiliating when you give a girl a blowjob and she never calls you back.

[ - ] bonghits4jeebus 1 point 3.4 yearsJan 9, 2022 16:26:26 ago (+1/-0)

When you're drunk and she sits on your face and then calls you a bitch the next day.

[ - ] Clubberlang 2 points 3.4 yearsJan 8, 2022 22:03:50 ago (+2/-0)

Should have stuck an instructional pamphlet on how to give a blow job.

She's always usin her teeth.

[ - ] thebearfromstartrack4 1 point 3.4 yearsJan 9, 2022 10:54:06 ago (+1/-0)*

If you don't get better, you're getting the axe.

THAT, would SOLVE so many problems EZPZ these days. YOU are responsible for YOUR shit. NOT ME.