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Shirts! Bumper stickers! Face masks! Dish towels! Come get 'em all with the official "My Butt's Been Wiped" logo! Kids get a free My Butt's Been Wiped fidget spinner while supplies last.

Imagine, just for a second, that it's your job to be the presidential ass wiper. You get paid to wipe the asshole of an asshole. How bad do you sleep at night? What do your hands smell like, and how hot is the water you use to wash them? What does your wife's boyfriend think about all this? Talk about a shitty job.