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The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they certainly should not interfere with God’s will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels really liked the slide and, unfortunately, all knew how to swim, so there were twice as many squirrels the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free behind the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the waterslide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out bowls of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much vandalism a band of drunk squirrels can do.

The Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy—they baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church, so that now they only ever see them at Christmas and Easter.

The squirrel problem at the Jewish synagogue lasted about a half hour. They grabbed the first squirrel they saw and circumcised it. They haven’t seen another squirrel since.

When I first started going to church, it was a hole in the wall place in the middle of nowhere. We had our fun asking inquisitive questions, talking about White replacement, the lineage of israel in genesis, miscegenation, pedos in woodchippers. There was no limit to how out there a question could lead to an interesting debate. And yet, no one thought of me as some crazed psycho, since they were asking similar questions. Heck my first church is where i learned about the talmud! Now I will say, i know very little about the other religions, so my knowledge form my prior post was very wrong. It doesn't come from me trying to front for the jews, so much as me assuming they are lying, backstabbing assholes and not always knowing how to explain why that is.

And then i came to NYC ... And now im seen as some kind of deranged psycho monster for asking questions. I even had to tone down a lot of the questions i ask since they were considered too provocative. I was asking questions on the lineage between the pharisees and the current day jews. Immediately dismissed with a simple: different people, fuck you, stop asking. They didn't explain HOW this could be, or who the pharisees went on to become. It makes it very confusing when a pastor talks about israel (modern day) and ignores how the Bible mentions multiple tribes of Judah, Israel, Benjamites, etc, But again, the pastors in NYC don't care to explain the delineation of the tribes vs modern day jews.

It honestly feels like i went from loving church to completely hating it. And yet i know its not my faith or my belief system that's the problem. I still have my same faith in God as i did before. But it feels like im no longer compatible with the church. It frustrates me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giMTb-3P-9U

#St. Ignatius of Laconi May 11th | Saint of the Day

Ignatius was the son of a poor farmer in Laconi, Italy. He was born on December 17, 1701. When he was about seventeen, he became very ill. He promised to be a Franciscan if he would get better. But when the illness left him, his father convinced him to wait. A couple of years later, Ignatius was almost killed when he lost control of his horse. Suddenly, however, the horse stopped and trotted on quietly. Ignatius was convinced, then, that God had saved his life. He made up his mind to follow his religious vocation at once.

Continue reading: https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=6982

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRVy5O787D4

#St. Paschal Baylon May 17th | Saint of the Day

Franciscan lay brother and mystic. Born to a peasant family at Torre Hermosa, in Aragon, on Whitsunday, he was christened Pascua in honor of the feast. According to accounts of his early life, Paschal labored as a shepherd for his father, performed miracles, and was distinguished for his austerity. He also taught himself to read. Receiving a vision which told him to enter a nearby Franciscan community, he became a Franciscan lay brother of the Alcantrine reform in 1564, and spent most of his life as a humble doorkeeper. He practiced rigorous asceticism and displayed a deep love for the Blessed Sacrament, so much so that while on a mission to France, he defended the doctrine of the Real Presence against a Calvinist preacher and in the face of threats from other irate Calvinists.

Continue reading: https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=5230

Catholic Online is a Project of Your Catholic Voice Foundation, a Not-for-Profit Corporation granted a recognition of tax exemption under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. Federal Tax Identification Number: 81-0596847. All donations are tax-deductible.