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I have been reflecting quite a bit for Easter, specifically on my flaws and how I can be a better Christian in the coming year.

One of my greatest flaws is laziness/sloth. I have, in the past, tried to overcome this in the most human of ways - motivational videos, podcasts, whatever. Be your best self, get up at 4 am, I tried really everything. Sometimes I didn't recognize the overarching flaws of laziness and saw it more as something unrelated. My diet is bad, or there's some environmental factor that's making things too hard.

Now I'm a single mom (widow) so fatigue comes into my mind often. But that isn't it either. It's just that I'd prefer to be vertical, reading an old Stephen King book or watching a documentary about the Spanish American War.

Laziness helped me avoid many things. Then one day, honestly as I was driving and thinking for the umpteenth time about how to conquer my laziness, I realized it was a lack of faith that was keeping me a lazy sack of shit.

I had no faith that the things I was avoiding in life would work out. I had no faith the God I'd devoted my life to, in my mind, would actually help me through anything hard. I had no real faith Christ would lead me through any darkness wrought of a risk or chance I wanted to take but was too lazy to try.

Faith saved me, and brought me out of this Hell. And it was a little living Hell of inaction. Now, I can see when my sloth is overtaking me and ask God for both forgiveness and strength.

I believe this is one of the sins and issues that we face in modern society that makes life very difficult for white people. It's so easy to give in to laziness, because why try if we think our efforts won't work? But with God they will. With faith, they will. We can overcome the awful hand we have been dealt. We can take the temple back. Faith is the start, waking up is the start.

Feeling less guilt for your laziness is also the start. Laziness has been thrust upon you by Satan and a sad, sick society. Sometimes what you think is sloth is not as well, like being late to a stupid Jew-run job that you hate.

Have faith you are more.