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i was recieving texts, warnings, and admonishments from people i know to cover my garden because the weather reports put out a "frost advisory"

submitted by drstrangergov to whatever 1 weekJun 3, 2025 11:55:12 ago (+10/-0)     (whatever)

since when do people use big tech and imperial spy devices to run their gardens? since when do these idiot machines care about my garden? what the hell is wrong with people? its june. sure, it happens once in a blue moon but it's never a damaging hard frost. i suspect it's just more hamster wheeling by big tech.


14 comments block


[ - ] dalai_llama 1 point 1 weekJun 3, 2025 13:48:50 ago (+2/-1)

I almost shit in my own pants one time but I got a text alerting me that it was time to use the bathroom. Big tech saved my afternoon.

You see, I have a smart belt buckle that's hooked up to my smart underwear that can sense when my trousers are removed. In order to register the type of waste I expel, I do have to rub some piss and or shit on the apparatus which is pretty gross but it's a small price to pay in order to constantly be alerted to impending restroom break needs.

[ - ] drstrangergov [op] 1 point 1 weekJun 4, 2025 00:10:50 ago (+1/-0)

you NEED apples new suppository dingle.

[ - ] MrPancake 1 point 1 weekJun 4, 2025 12:03:06 ago (+1/-0)

that model was so yesterday; the new suppository comes with a tail that wags when a tranny is within 10 feet.

[ - ] OftenWrong 0 points 1 weekJun 4, 2025 06:40:26 ago (+0/-0)

I have my phone set to 3g and manually turn on the 5g( instead of the LTE)for a short period if I have poor service somewhere and need/want internet because the push emergency alerts don't work on the 3g mode

[ - ] Nosferatjew 0 points 1 weekJun 3, 2025 16:17:44 ago (+1/-1)*

AHEM

"I" before "E", except after "C".

[ - ] drstrangergov [op] 0 points 1 weekJun 4, 2025 00:08:13 ago (+0/-0)

grammar nazi's are the worst kind of nazi.

[ - ] SteppingRazor 0 points 1 weekJun 3, 2025 15:35:20 ago (+0/-0)

I use a gardening app and put in my region. It warns me via popup if a freeze advisory is coming.

I use the app for companion planting and timing, that part is a bonus.

[ - ] drstrangergov [op] 0 points 1 weekJun 4, 2025 00:09:28 ago (+0/-0)

using that device is going to make your ability to think atrophy.

[ - ] SteppingRazor 0 points 1 weekJun 4, 2025 10:50:45 ago (+0/-0)

Disagree - it helped me recognize companion planting. Now that I know I don’t need to check the app.

[ - ] xmasskull 0 points 1 weekJun 3, 2025 13:08:01 ago (+0/-0)

You might be intercepting weather alerts from the Southern hemisphere?

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 1 weekJun 3, 2025 11:57:51 ago (+0/-0)

Now imagine the gardens hooked up to computers. You're screwed.

Hope you can override.

Wait until the dirt is nano botted.

Double screwed.

[ - ] drstrangergov [op] 2 points 1 weekJun 3, 2025 12:20:59 ago (+2/-0)

that sounds pretty fake and gay

[ - ] Her0n 1 point 1 weekJun 3, 2025 14:41:01 ago (+1/-0)

So did cell phones in the 1940s

[ - ] bobdole9 1 point 1 weekJun 3, 2025 14:55:50 ago (+1/-0)

Those fucks really want the magic dirt.