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8

A record scratch moment you could hear from space.

submitted by Aze to whatever 8 hoursMay 20, 2025 00:23:31 ago (+9/-1)     (whatever)

Let me paint you a completely, totally, hypothetical picture. You're 30, tall, White, smart, good job, in pretty good shape, and lets say you are a solid 7.5 in the face. Not an Instagram chad, but way better then 90% of the scum walking around 70 pounds overweight in the supermarket.

You land one of the very few remaining decent girls out there. She's 25, 8.5 face, thin, White, conservative, sane (impossible I know), not run through, and she's willing to put the work in to stay in shape. You wifed her up ASAP, and now its been about two years. Things have been magical since then, great sex life, few arguments, you are both genuinely in love. It's like something right out of a fairytale.

Then she tells you she's picked up a personal trainer to help her stay in shape.

The record scratch is so loud you can hear it on the moon. Worse, turns out he's also a tall chiseled chad, and you have a full time job and can't puppy-guard your girl 24/7.

Now, dear reader, how the FUCK do you stop what we all know is coming. Preferably without destroying the relationship in the process.

Let me repeat, this woman you've landed is about as good as girls get in America in 2025. She's not politically poisoned, she's not a hoe, she's not insane or ruined by toxic girlfriends giving her bad dating advice. She just happened to bump into this trainer randomly at the gym and didn't even think for a second of how dangerous it could to the marriage.

For the moment lets assume she really isn't a hoe, and she really is just that naïve.

How does one, realistically guys, no over the top internet bravado, tell her to drop this dude to make sure nothing ends up happening. Remember, she's a good girl, but she's still a girl! Logic does not work on them. Relationship stats, or example videos, even more useless. Even bringing the subject up will trigger the factory default "Oh, so you don't trust me!" response 99 times out of 100.

This seems like a Kobayashi Maru scenario to me honestly.

In this totally made up situation, I'd really love my girl for being willing to do the hard work it takes to stay in shape, and I'd go with her as much as humanly possible, but I'd also have a job keeping the lights turned on and could not realistically stop her from getting attention from every swinging dick in the gym, much less the planet. Addressing it at all will mean a fight, I don't see away around that, but if it has to happen then it needs to end with me convincing her that if she spends time with this dude then an affair is just a matter of time.

Before you say it, I highly doubt the "I trust you, I just don't trust him." line will be enough. Threats and honest reminders of the consequences of cheating will also just sound like ultimatums (cus they are), and will just triggering her negative psychological responses, pushing her away when I need to be pulling her in.

And yes, I am well aware that jealously gives women the ick. Perfectly convenient for them, but not so much for the men they cheat on of course.

One more thing. I really, really hate how human psychology works when it comes to these things.

I know I'm asking a lot of Voat to have an actual serious talk even for just a second, but really, WTF do I do here?


30 comments block


[ - ] observation1 0 points 8 hoursMay 20, 2025 00:32:06 ago (+0/-0)

If it can happen to Tom Brady it can happen to anyone.

[ - ] observation1 9 points 8 hoursMay 20, 2025 00:37:13 ago (+9/-0)*

Be straight
"Sorry it doesnt work for me. Lets find you a woman trainer."
If she resists then check if something wrong.

"disappointing youre not wanting to just drop it, seems like you really want to see this guy when im at work. [...] more reason its a no. Got something else you need to say; something on your mind?..."

Not a woman in this world who doesnt know this is a retarded idea.

Do it before first class, whatever you decide. Sooner the easier.

[ - ] GrayDragon 5 points 7 hoursMay 20, 2025 02:00:29 ago (+5/-0)

"Lets find you a woman trainer."

That's the right answer. Also everything else you said.

[ - ] SumerBreeze 1 point 8 hoursMay 20, 2025 00:39:46 ago (+1/-0)

Pay the trainer to drop her and cut off contact.

[ - ] Sector2 4 points 8 hoursMay 20, 2025 01:12:51 ago (+4/-0)

Offer to not bury him in a swamp as a bonus.

[ - ] Trope 1 point 8 hoursMay 20, 2025 00:44:22 ago (+2/-1)

Why worry?

If you trust her, then you have nothing to worry about. If she cheats on you, you’ll find another woman.

Be more direct with your communication. Why was this written as a hypothetical and long?

[ - ] Gowithit 3 points 5 hoursMay 20, 2025 04:18:21 ago (+3/-0)

Don't leave your wife alone with a man.

[ - ] Crackinjokes 2 points 5 hoursMay 20, 2025 03:23:51 ago (+2/-0)

Trust and logic has nothing to do with females emotions and reason for bonding.

You must not actually know anything about women.

If you actually want to preserve a relationship with a woman you must guide them not rely on their logic and common sense.

It sounds like this one's a keeper and so it's worth doing and you're not just going to find another one like that.

[ - ] localsal 4 points 8 hoursMay 20, 2025 01:13:10 ago (+4/-0)

Get a home gym or do workouts together - walking/biking, etc.

Nobody needs to go to a gym to stay in shape. Just stopping eating so much will give everybody a six-pack.

Go watch some of the 1970s A-Team episodes and look at the girls. None of those girls ever went to a gym and are skinnier than 99% of the women today.

[ - ] Sector2 2 points 7 hoursMay 20, 2025 01:25:18 ago (+2/-0)

The fact that you were informed of this out of the blue is a bad sign. A marriage is usually a pretty 'hands on' affair, and this sounds like there's already a disconnect happening.

Has all the appearance of a major red flag for me.

[ - ] Crackinjokes 4 points 6 hoursMay 20, 2025 03:21:13 ago (+4/-0)

I think what you do is you ask her as her husband to not see him.

You explain to her that you think it's dangerous to the marriage and that you trust her but that people have natural tendencies and just as she would not feel comfortable if you begin to spend the same amount of time with a very attractive female personal trainer that you think it's risky for your marriage.

and your marriage is the most important thing to you and so you're asking her to stop seeing this trainer.

And if she wants a trainer you will help her find an older man or maybe a female although so many of these female gym trainers are lesbians and they're even worse because they always want to bust up a man's marriage because they hate men.

I'll also say this you don't stay fit by working out you stay fit by not overeating. If you want to have a difficult conversation with a female have that one. They all believe the training and exercise nonsense and none of them want to believe that the way to stay in shape is to eat very little everyday. The only ones who understand that are models and actresses and they all lie and say they eat whatever they want when they actually eat almost nothing all day.

[ - ] Osmanthus 2 points 4 hoursMay 20, 2025 05:06:45 ago (+2/-0)

She wants you to work out you are getting flabby.
It's woman-think.

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 3 hoursMay 20, 2025 05:28:00 ago (+0/-0)

Is she dependant on you? Are you her one and only source of income? The full provider? That helps.

If not, is there a goal (financial) that this "personal trainer" would eat into?

Or didn't she want to start some [insert frivolous hobby] some time ago that you could say is starting to become popular now?

You could introduce her to real food. The money,time and effort that takes would distract her from fantasies of an affair and make her lose weight at the same time. Win/win.

[ - ] albatrosv15 0 points 3 hoursMay 20, 2025 05:35:12 ago (+0/-0)*

Observation1 comment is best approach, but if you are too pussy, then just say "i know how biology works and eventually you are going to cheat on me and then blame it on me, because i was not good enough or something like that. I'm not going to stop you doing it, i'm just saying what will happen. Although me saying it now is already good enough a cause i will be guilty in the future." Even funnier would be to write it down in a sealed envelope and tell her to open it in the future when you tell her to.
Women come and go(especially considering your situation), anon, have some fun experimenting. Oh and crackinjokes has a good idea too. "Ok i'm going to take a woman trainer too and see how much you trust me".

[ - ] Peleg 0 points 3 hoursMay 20, 2025 06:12:41 ago (+0/-0)

Go see the Chad. Become friends with him. Find out if he has a woman! If he's got a woman the four of you have dinner sometime. Chances are he doesn't have one woman but is doing the personal trainer bit to get laid by ANY whore that will screw him. This would be your best scenario. She would know from then on that she would be nothing but another hole. If your luck is shity he has a woman but yours thinks she can be better for him. That's why you go see chad alone first. You could get real lucky and he is gay! LOL. Or a little less lucky but still lucky, he opens up and talks about all the stupid babes he pumps and dumps. Here's the thing. If she hears him talking about pumps and dumps and she still wants to be on that list, she ain't worth having.

[ - ] Gowithit 1 point 1 hourMay 20, 2025 08:04:55 ago (+1/-0)

She would know from then on that she would be nothing but another hole.

a year or two in with the husband and during an "argument" he told me "you can get any guy to fuck you but none of them will put up with you". that stung. And stuck!

[ - ] Peleg 0 points 19 secondsMay 20, 2025 09:21:28 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah. I to have been faced with truths that stung and stuck.
"Had" a good friend who shared confidential information with me. It was spicy info and young dumb me ran my mouth to someone. Life lesson learned the hard way.
Lost a good friend that day.

[ - ] hylo 0 points 2 hoursMay 20, 2025 06:31:56 ago (+0/-0)*

If she's the cheating type she will cheat on you eventually. And it seems to me like you think she's capable so why marry her? Your world view is that all women cheat? Mine wouldn't and she is attractive. Maybe I'm lucky but I would never waste my time with a woman that constantly worried me like that.

Here's an even more fucked up idea since you like jumping balls first into bad situations: get her pregnant, that will make her instantly unattractive, but if your relationships fails later it's gonna suck being divorced with kids.


I say let her cheat and then count your blessings it happened early and you didn't waste 15 years of your prime.

[ - ] Freespeechplease 0 points 2 hoursMay 20, 2025 06:58:37 ago (+0/-0)

You married her, your fault, give her 1/4th your money after giving 75% of it the divorce Jew and move on. And then don't get married again. Which reminds me, why does the government care if people are married? Isn't that something to be done between a couple and god? Ohh that's right, it's all about the fucking money, there's an entire fucking lucrative blood sucking business built around destroying people's lives. Thanks Jews.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 2 hoursMay 20, 2025 07:08:00 ago (+2/-0)

Home Gym Master Race

[ - ] MaryXmas 0 points 1 hourMay 20, 2025 07:24:05 ago (+0/-0)

7.5 in the face. Lol.
I'd say, "have fun". But dont eat her pussy those nights.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 0 points 1 hourMay 20, 2025 07:37:52 ago (+0/-0)

Forbid her to use a penis-haver trainer. If she resists, you have your answer. However, Chad already has a string of gym ho's at his disposal. Maybe he aint interested in yours. In any case, put spyware on her fone.

[ - ] Reunto 0 points 1 hourMay 20, 2025 07:55:54 ago (+0/-0)

You are asking about mate retention strategies.

Two years married? Why haven't you had children yet? That's the root of the problem. Her physiology is going wild wanting babies.

The first best option is to start having children and give her boundaries for what kind of people she can associate with.

The next best is showing her you can dance that same dance too. Not for the purpose of being vindictive or cruel, but to subtly show her that if she wants to invest in a side guy that you are emotionally and socially in a state where you can leave at any time. If done correctly, she will focus more on making you happy.

Reciprocation and mirroring are often effective tactics.

Two things to do:

1) Subtly display your own optionality (subtly show her that if you wanted to that you could have sexual access to other women beyond her)

2) Improve your own physical state (self conscious about "Chad the trainer"? That won't change even if your relationship ends. You'll never be perfect, but the willpower to be effective and endeavour to be better is the thing to focus on here. Even for Chad there's a bigger Chad out there, but he is going to have value by virtue of striving to be better)

Girls don't care about faces as much as they care about the male physique. Your face changes with physique anyway.

To cover 1 & 2, there are different ways to accomplish it. For item 1 there are nuances for what is appropriate. You're not going on a dating app and getting side chicks, it's more to the tune of you're going to dancing classes or something to that effect. Something that provides the plausible optics that if you wanted to, the moment you are single that you could pick up a chick no problem.

[ - ] Her0n 1 point 1 hourMay 20, 2025 07:59:29 ago (+1/-0)

When my wife and I decided to be serious about our relationship I told her one of my expectations is for her single life activities to cease. No more girls trips, girls nights out, guy friends, all of that. It hasn't been an arguement since to be honest. We said we weren't single, so our single life mentality had to change. The boundaries have been tested on both sides, but that's where great communication comes into play.

She wants a man who wields a sword (read strength). She will choose a man who wields that sword against her over a man who has no sword (weak men, betas, if you must). She ultimately wants a hero, the man who wields his sword against the evil in the world, giving her a safe place to be near you.

This is her crossing a boundary, you won't feel comfortable with her having a male trainer. The only thing you can really do is decide how you will respond to her ignoring your boundaries. If she resists you can list how she is disrespecting you and the relationship, she isn't being empathetic nor sympathetic. She would also be upset and stand her ground for her own boundaries. Don't be specific, just state what I generally said. Going into detail brings on blame and stirs up emotions too much.

Simply say she isn't respecting your boundaries, and she would do the same to protect her own.

If you are OK with a female trainer, you can suggest that as a middle ground, the compromise they say they always want to have.

I'm no marriage guru, so my advice might be terrible.

You could also just pump babies into her right now and forgo the male personal trainer idea at all...

[ - ] MaryXmas 0 points 10 minutesMay 20, 2025 09:11:21 ago (+0/-0)

Good advice.

[ - ] Oz5711 0 points 1 hourMay 20, 2025 08:01:43 ago (+0/-0)

looks like it's time for you to start hitting the gym, too.

[ - ] texasblood 0 points 1 hourMay 20, 2025 08:14:36 ago (+0/-0)

Ain't no fucking option(s)
Only a mindless cuck would venture into a transaction with the opposite sex regardless of relationship status.
Hoes gonna be hoes,it's not a gender issue.

[ - ] WNwoman 0 points 38 minutesMay 20, 2025 08:42:50 ago (+0/-0)

The “gym” is a cesspool of degeneracy. I agree with the poster that said being thin is mainly about the kitchen. Exercise is beneficial for health but lifting heavy weights is not necessary for women. Women should focus on mild cardio, weight bearing exercises, balance and core strength.

I get all those boxes checked by attending a barre or Pilates class a few times a week. It’s all women of various ages and is a great workout. I’m a thin, in shape and reasonably attractive woman but I’m married and not interested in prancing around in tight gym gear at a meat market gym. Any woman wanting to do this is craving attention.

[ - ] _Obrez 0 points 24 minutesMay 20, 2025 08:56:50 ago (+0/-0)

Apply for a job in another state worth way more money and pray she accepts moving. At the very least move an hour away from that gym. Maybe web stalk the trainer and make sure you are at least an hour or two from his home.

[ - ] MaryXmas 0 points 11 minutesMay 20, 2025 09:09:48 ago (+0/-0)

Ok, so here is the answer:
1. Women monkey bar between men. If it isn't her trainer, it is someone else. She is in the prowl. There will be many men so do not fool yourself into thinking you can do anything to stop this in a long term relationship.
2. The first thing that women do before looking for a new relationship is start working out so they can attract better potential mates. This is a statistic and you can look it up.
3. You need to pull away slightly and also really focus on what you care about. Spend the entire day doing it without her. And, start referring to her friends, highlighting their good qualities,"Sarah with the good hair" or "Katie that throws the great parties". Of course, her secret quality is "Emily that gives the best sex".
You are already married so you are off to a good start and a divorce is a heavier lift than a break up.
I went through this maybe 12 years ago. She started working out, hanging out with her work friends and eventually dumped me. IDK if she was fucking on the side but she might have been. The guy ditched her after a month and she still had her last name at 34. She was a fat 6, and a step down so it wasn't a big loss. She would be a guys great second wife. Take solace in the fact if she ends it, she will not be trading up.

Good luck.