Had a cyst on my tailbone. It was a big nasty fucker, looked like a whitehead, but the size of a half dollar coin. It was super painful to even wear jeans, fucker was angry. Lanced that bastard with a sewing needle, then opened it up a little more with a paring knife. Got about a shot glass worth of puss out and it smelled like the Ganges. Got it cleaned up real good and slapped some gauze on it. Fast forward a couple hours and I'm a new man. I can sit on my ass again without feeling like eating a bullet. My wife thinks I'm insane, but you really can't argue with results. Anyway, yeah I really don't like hospitals. That was one of the most painful things I've done, but at least I didn't have to deal with Dr Diversity and Nurse tiktok. Y'all think I can run that paring knife through the dishwasher, or should I just throw it in my tackle box?
When I was a kid I watched a family friend drunkard who had a toothache - after most of a gallon of Jack Daniels- decide he was just going to extract the damned tooth himself.
He grabbed a pair of vice grips and clamped down on the molar. He ended up shattering the molar as he clamped down… The pain was more than the Jack could quell, and he let the whole damned marina know it, he basically spent the rest of the night with a gauze ball and ice pack in his mouth. Went to the local country emergency dentist the next day and found out he shattered the good tooth nest to the rotten one and had to have a double root canal to remove both.
While everyone was partying st the campsites with the boats, we hear the local Sherriff is doing a DUI checkpoint inside the main gate of the state park entrance/exit. Our friend - after most of a gallon of Jack- decided that the local county Sherriff’s have no jurisdiction on state property, and he is compelled to drive up there and give him a piece of his mind.
Needless to say, he ended up with free room and board for a couple nights, and then every weekend had to drive over to this country county to spend a few nights in jail until he did his time…
On the front of his houseboat was a full sized taxidermies bear that had a can of beer in one paw, a pint of Jack in the others and a Marlboro in its mouth..
I've self extracted a molar, but instead of vice grips I used needle nose pliers. I was also more fucked up than a nigger named mayonnaise, but I still had the wherewithal to get the right fucking tooth. I left a little root behind, but it came out on its own a couple weeks later while I was eating a turkey sandwich.
I fucked up and gashed my forehead. Went to my car and got my medkit and gauzed it. Drove home and opened by big box of medical shit my ex-gf nurse left and put steri strips which are like adhesive stitches.
Another time I fucked up and blasted my hand and fingers with shrapnel. Wrapped it with a cloth and sped home. Disinfected, covered in aquaphor, and sat in pain for a few weeks.
If I went to the hospital they would have charged me thousands of dollars fuck that.
That's what I mean. You don't have to have a PhD to patch yourself up. I'm a stupid bastard and I hurt myself pretty often, not as much lately but it was like a monthly occurrence at one point. I'm fuckin handy with gauze, medical tape, and triple antibiotic and I have the scars to prove it. I kinda wanna try giving myself stitches, but I'm not really rushing to figure out if I'm any good at it.
Next time go get yourself some toothache gel for a $1.25 from the dollar tree. The s*** is 20% benzocaine the same stuff that they inject in your gums so they can work on your teeth (the benzocaine not the gel). It also works on the surface of your skin on hangnails ingrown toenails anything you've got to cut off. $1.25 at Dollar tree. Stock up you never know when they'll run out.
Yeah, there wasn't anything anal about it. It was a solid 5 inches North of my b hole, and I'm prone to cysts. Had to get one removed from below my ear on my jawline a couple years ago. It was that experience that had me reaching for kitchen utensils this time.
yes yes, that gangas smelling discharge is actually suitable as a pork marinade when mixed properly with jalapeno and tallow! Throw in a little acne extract to kick it up a notch! BAM!
[ + ] Steelerfish
[ - ] Steelerfish 6 points 18 hoursMay 11, 2025 01:57:38 ago (+6/-0)
He grabbed a pair of vice grips and clamped down on the molar.
He ended up shattering the molar as he clamped down…
The pain was more than the Jack could quell, and he let the whole damned marina know it, he basically spent the rest of the night with a gauze ball and ice pack in his mouth.
Went to the local country emergency dentist the next day and found out he shattered the good tooth nest to the rotten one and had to have a double root canal to remove both.
Ahhhh- memories…
[ + ] Steelerfish
[ - ] Steelerfish 4 points 18 hoursMay 11, 2025 02:05:22 ago (+4/-0)
While everyone was partying st the campsites with the boats, we hear the local Sherriff is doing a DUI checkpoint inside the main gate of the state park entrance/exit. Our friend - after most of a gallon of Jack- decided that the local county Sherriff’s have no jurisdiction on state property, and he is compelled to drive up there and give him a piece of his mind.
Needless to say, he ended up with free room and board for a couple nights, and then every weekend had to drive over to this country county to spend a few nights in jail until he did his time…
On the front of his houseboat was a full sized taxidermies bear that had a can of beer in one paw, a pint of Jack in the others and a Marlboro in its mouth..
Ahhh, memories…
[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry
[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 2 points 17 hoursMay 11, 2025 02:21:57 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry
[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 4 points 18 hoursMay 11, 2025 02:19:17 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] Nosferatjew
[ - ] Nosferatjew 4 points 14 hoursMay 11, 2025 05:59:39 ago (+4/-0)
When reading this, my brain added the word "back" between "it" and "in".
[ + ] puremadness
[ - ] puremadness 2 points 8 hoursMay 11, 2025 11:37:25 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Kozel
[ - ] Kozel 2 points 18 hoursMay 11, 2025 01:58:51 ago (+2/-0)
Another time I fucked up and blasted my hand and fingers with shrapnel. Wrapped it with a cloth and sped home. Disinfected, covered in aquaphor, and sat in pain for a few weeks.
If I went to the hospital they would have charged me thousands of dollars fuck that.
[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry
[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 17 hoursMay 11, 2025 02:25:51 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] TheYiddler
[ - ] TheYiddler 2 points 14 hoursMay 11, 2025 06:10:57 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] BushChuck5002
[ - ] BushChuck5002 0 points 10 hoursMay 11, 2025 09:26:37 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Crackinjokes
[ - ] Crackinjokes 1 point 8 hoursMay 11, 2025 12:01:24 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Flanders
[ - ] Flanders 1 point 17 hoursMay 11, 2025 02:38:48 ago (+1/-0)
Good job on the cutting, I don't think I could do that even if I tried.
[ + ] inaminit
[ - ] inaminit 1 point 18 hoursMay 11, 2025 02:01:20 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry
[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 18 hoursMay 11, 2025 02:13:00 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] BushChuck5002
[ - ] BushChuck5002 2 points 10 hoursMay 11, 2025 09:24:25 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] LiberalsAreMental
[ - ] LiberalsAreMental 0 points 7 hoursMay 11, 2025 12:31:52 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] beece
[ - ] beece 0 points 11 hoursMay 11, 2025 09:15:39 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] big_fat_dangus
[ - ] big_fat_dangus 0 points 11 hoursMay 11, 2025 09:07:23 ago (+0/-0)
And what did we learn?
[ + ] clymer
[ - ] clymer 0 points 15 hoursMay 11, 2025 04:58:56 ago (+0/-0)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t_tgiWatvs