☰
×
Login Register an account
Top Submissions Explore Upgoat Search Random Subverse Random Post Colorize! Site Rules Donate
9

My bird feeder hasn't had any birds at it for a couple weeks...That can only mean one thing

submitted by HonkyMcNiggerSpic to TellUpgoat 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 21:19:04 ago (+11/-2)     (TellUpgoat)

Somebody's cat about to get fucking rekt. If you have animals then you really should keep them to yourself. I understand that your pet may get loose once in a while and I don't mind situations like that but I will not tolerate your fucking cat coming on my property and pissing on my goddamn grill, chairs and camping at my bird feeder. I have two different cats coming in. My kindness and understanding will only go so far before I go on a MF rampage. Wonder what the neighbors would think if I came and pissed on their grill and chairs or if I shit in their yard? I bet they wouldn't like it, would they?


45 comments block

sort by: hot new top old low

[ - ] KosherHiveKicker 5 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 22:21:51 ago (+6/-1)

Set a few live-catch wire cage traps in your yard with cat-food.

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXjVpoiMLmo

After you catch one and spend 1-2 days spraying with a yard hose before calling the owner to come pick up their POS cat. If you want to go full Alpha on it, then piss on the cat while it's caged.

I can assure you that this method works.

[ - ] Whatthefuck 3 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 23:53:48 ago (+4/-1)

I have to say, I like your style.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 2 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 10:17:13 ago (+2/-0)

This is actually a good idea. I have a couple traps somewhere in my building.

[ - ] dassar 1 point 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 00:56:34 ago (+2/-1)

Tar and feather the little fcker then send him home - 'Nope - sorry have never seen it over here'.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 1 point 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 10:17:58 ago (+1/-0)

Once I trap it I could spray it with skunk piss.

[ - ] Her0n 2 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 10:07:00 ago (+2/-0)

.177 blowgun with "pinch" darts.

Won't kill the cat, but I garuantee the cat will consider other areas to hang out.

Let no one know it is you doing this or that you have a blowgun at all.

These are good for hunting, so you'll be able to tag a housecat at great distance with relatively little practice.

[ - ] fnbs 3 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 21:42:11 ago (+3/-0)

I have to chase cats out of my yard almost daily to keep them away from my birds

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 4 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 21:43:53 ago (+5/-1)

There's a way to make them never return again 100% guaranteed.

[ - ] fnbs 1 point 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 23:17:19 ago (+2/-1)

There is... but im not gonna go that route

[ - ] Whatthefuck 1 point 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 23:53:11 ago (+1/-0)

Even a pellet gun will give them enough fear to not return. Waving your arms isn't a lasting lesson.

It won't kill them if that's what you're worried about. Just only give it a few pumps.

[ - ] IdentifyShills 1 point 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 08:33:59 ago (+1/-0)

This level of effort would be better used against invaders than against cats.

[ - ] Trope 3 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 21:40:36 ago (+3/-0)

Two cats can’t kill all the birds in the world.

[ - ] jfroybees 0 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 22:14:33 ago (+3/-3)

Cats are the most destructive force to an ecosystem. In a lot of counties it is now illegal to let a pet cat just wander around.

[ - ] Pasty 3 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 01:06:49 ago (+3/-0)

Alright Mao if you kill all the cats what are you going to do about the rats?

[ - ] BMN003 3 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 01:46:03 ago (+3/-0)

If you've got a rat problem, a terrier is a much better bet than a cat. They'll go after them every time, not just when they're bored.

[ - ] Her0n 1 point 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 10:08:39 ago (+1/-0)

My dog is half chihuahua and 1/4 terrier. She attacks rats and snakes but loses those fights. Little retard can't discern when she's outgunned.

[ - ] jfroybees 0 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 13:03:31 ago (+0/-0)

Chemical warfare.

[ - ] Pasty 0 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 16:32:29 ago (+0/-0)

You know nothing of rats then?

[ - ] jfroybees 0 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 21:20:43 ago (+0/-0)

Cats can't eat and kill all the rats either.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] -1 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 21:42:34 ago (+3/-4)

No but they cause a major imbalance at my feeder and birds won't come in. I had a few crows alerting this morning. Smaller birds won't even hardly come in now. I'm gonna start with the BB gun. If they do not heed that then they are fucked

[ - ] xmasskull -2 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 23:44:19 ago (+0/-2)

Just wait until you see how high a cat can jump, you'll be surprised.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 2 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 07:01:45 ago (+2/-0)

Have you tried pissing on your neighbor's grill and furniture?

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 2 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 10:20:43 ago (+2/-0)

weeeeellll... Once upon a time, in a galaxy faaaaar away.....

[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 2 monthsApr 1, 2025 18:04:29 ago (+0/-0)

it ain't the cat's fault. Don't punish the cat...punish it's owners. Throw snails and slugs onto their garden at night.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 1 point 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 00:33:49 ago (+1/-0)

I ran a successful feline relocation program when I lived in the burbs in Sacramento years ago. I would trap them in one of those safety traps and take them for a long ride to a different neighborhood and let them go. The program began after my neighbor's young cat pissed on my floorboard of my truck when I left the door open for two seconds to move a garbage can in my driveway. Bye bye kitty.

[ - ] glooper 1 point 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 22:47:32 ago (+1/-0)

haven't seen the spring birds yet at my place. maybe something other then a cat is in play....?


[ - ] Nosferatjew 1 point 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 23:18:48 ago (+1/-0)

Like, i dunno, maybe winter?

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 0 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 10:24:53 ago (+0/-0)

No its cats. I've seen them in person and on my CCTV. We always have birds year round but a lot start coming back in March and April.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 1 point 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 22:13:47 ago (+1/-0)

...TOXOPLASMOSIS MONSTERS don't leave my yard once they're in my cross hairs...people should know that their animals are their responsibility and the rudeness of allowing their animals to wander off grounds into a neighbor's yard ends up with a fatal outcome for the nuisance animal.

[ - ] Ducktalesooo000ooo 1 point 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 21:28:37 ago (+2/-1)

You can shit in their yard without them seeing you probably. Go at dusk.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 4 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 21:31:59 ago (+5/-1)

No I want them to see me.

[ - ] Reunto 0 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 22:46:26 ago (+0/-0)

Night soil trebuchet

[ - ] Panic 0 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 09:38:57 ago (+0/-0)

Rat poison pellets in peanut butte on a paper plate in your back yard will do the trick. Works well on squirrels too.

Birds come back when they know it's safe.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 2 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 10:19:37 ago (+2/-0)

I would never poison an animal like a jew.

[ - ] 2plus2equals5 0 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 00:49:11 ago (+0/-0)*

I had a big ol Cooper's Hawk stupidly sitting and eating it's kill right next to the feeder a few days ago. Third one this year.
The ones in front were not too upset.
Hopefully it was an English Sparrow fucker.

Mine goes through 40oz+ seed in a single hour on good days. Many types come through here regularly. Plus a half dozen squirrels. Coons and possums at night. I use mostly black sunflower, peanuts, meal worms, and cheap corn mix. Nobody eats the millet.

About half the native songbirds have disappeared during our generation alive.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 0 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 10:22:38 ago (+0/-0)

I have a lot of red tails and eagles but the crows harass the shit out of them so they never come into my yard. The crows/ravens seem to enjoy messing with the hawks the most. Its almost like watching Orcas fuck with Great Whites

[ - ] xmasskull 1 point 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 14:55:10 ago (+1/-0)

For my area,it's "Dove's" they have to be the dumbest bird in my part of Texas.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 1 point 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 20:19:06 ago (+1/-0)

I have grey Doves. They come in the morning and usually hang for about 30-45 minutes then leave. They bully other birds. I watch them bully Bluejays, which is hilarious because Bluejays are some mean sonsabitches.

[ - ] Nosferatjew 0 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 23:17:35 ago (+0/-0)

Did you forget to put seed in the feeder again?

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 0 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 10:23:33 ago (+0/-0)

No its loaded up with bird crack.

[ - ] oyveyo 0 points 2 monthsMar 30, 2025 23:15:11 ago (+0/-0)

Wonder what the neighbors would think if I came and pissed on their grill and chairs or if I shit in their yard? I bet they wouldn't like it, would they?
Do it and report back.

[ - ] paul_neri -1 points 2 monthsMar 31, 2025 22:02:25 ago (+0/-1)

I feel for you, dude .Cat owners need to be ostracised starting with @con77

[ - ] con77 0 points 2 monthsApr 1, 2025 17:04:46 ago (+0/-0)

I will pluck your eye out and feed it to my cat

[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 2 monthsApr 1, 2025 18:03:04 ago (+0/-0)

Just leave me one.