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So I left the missus at home and went to the beach.

https://imgur.com/a/8XvWlNK

Put the tent up and surveyed the scene. Small waves but rideable. Someone had spotted a shark so I was giving it lots of time to move on. Anyway...who should come prancing along the beach in her bikini but @dulcima! I thought: "Oh f..k, if she sees me I'll be here gasbagging for the next hour". She passed a group of surfers gathered on the sand and bent over pretending to tie up her sandal or something but she was really wriggling her bum in their faces. She's such a tease. She spotted me and came sauntering up. Flung down her towel which had "Gucci" written all over it. 'Paul", she said: "I thought I'd find you here. We need to talk about the Ukraine". "Oh ffs, dulcie, we are here for the sun and the surf. Enjoy it". She paused and then before I could say Jack Robinson she'd removed her top releasing these lovely milky white boobs! I was somewhat taken aback, bros. No regard for my sensibilities! How do you discuss politics with a half-naked woman ffs?

https://imgur.com/a/Z5auSJM

"Paul", she said: "Could you rub some suntan lotion on my back, please?".

https://i.imgur.com/gg1L8h6.jpeg

"Sure", I said.She rolled over and I started smearing her back with lotion.It was my lotion not hers and I didn't have much left! She has very white skin being of Irish stock so I applied the stuff liberally. This went on for a bit and then I felt like what seemed to be little jolts running through her body.I thought she's snoozing and having dreams. This dude caught a lovely wave and I thought that could have been me.Suddenly dulcima let out a sharp cry. "Oh f..k",I thought: "I wasn't paying attention and have dug my fingernails in". "Are you ok?", I asked.She replied in a faltering voice: "Yes, yes, yes...I'm fine". She sat up without covering her boobs and looked at me intently. She seemed to be getting a bit emotional. "Paul", she said: "Do you think this great, big beautiful country of ours will always be ours?".

https://imgur.com/a/SF26gNO
https://imgur.com/a/9N7Vykt
https://imgur.com/a/u2m3Vsh


I fixed her with a hard look."Dulcie, I've always been frank with you. No. One day that forest behind us will be covered in dachas and out there on that sparkling,blue water, sampans will be scouring the ocean floor for anything that's edible". She shuddered and her eyes glazed over. "That's it" she said: "I'm gunna enlist!". "Dulcie", I said: "a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do and a man's got to catch a wave before they go so...I'm into the water". I caught some nice waves and as always happens every other turkey in the water moves in on my patch thinking that's where the best waves are when it's my skills that catches them. Mind you we are only dad and mum surfers so it's not hard to rise above the pack. So after impressing everyone I went back to the tent only to find little ms bare boobs had departed. I was a bit relieved as I wanted to have a sleep. As I settled down for a peaceful sleep one can only get at the beach I noticed a handwritten note in the corner of the tent.I grabbed it. "pansy", it said!