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Ok, yea, probably boot camp. He needs to be set in line by other males, its not fair but thats how it is. It's not the same when you do it, at best, you become mean. Men in military settings can be good for him if he is willing to accept tutelage.

When I was 12 YMCA had summer programs, like "PLATOON" and "Kids in the kitchen".
In PLATOON we learned to build rope bridges and scale them.
In the other one we made taffy.

Find him a male buddy of responsible age, who doesnt party, make sure that its not a faggot.
barring that, Put him in a program where he spends the night away from home, like a boot camp or just any environment that encourages responsibility. Church camp, sure, why not, mind the faggots though. Wood working camp. Video game dev camp. Send him to a camp, where you cannot see him. When he comes home without incident, be visibily proud.

You have powers, just not the same ones we do.
Which is why we are powerless before you (your son included).

Keep him out of the military. I'd say lean into the engineering. This can be dangerous depending on what your goals are. If he's allowed to form goals of a system he wants to make and is given the time and resources to make it happen then he will develop self management skills. But that can come at a cost for his formal education if he gets too involved with it.

Create a clone of him.

Wait till he's 16
You think he's a handful now

Trigger control and grouping management. Best to start these before bad habits set in. You have to be involved, you cant contract out your child's development.

Ask for his help.

Men respond to requests for assistance.

They respond negatively to being forced to do anything.

Explain to him and show him that his cooperation and leadership in the family are an essential part of the families survival.

Like some others said, control your anger and other emotions. After he messes up give yourself time to calm down, and then come up with a punishment.

Best idea though, is to find a step father and give him full authority to discipline, while also keeping an eye out that he isn't overly mean out of jealousy for another man's child.

AYO MA LET ME HOLLA AT U

U EVER BEEN WITH A REAL NIGGUH

You're in a tough spot. I grew up much like him, albeit long ago. My friends mostly all were in similar circumstances; broke and broken homes, no strong male role model. Luckily we had each other, so we taught each other how to navigate life. His position is not an easy one either and he needs to figure out things for himself, the only thing you can do is try to help guide his path, suggest direction, etc. He is entering the most difficult years of his life

Put the young man in jiu jitsu. It’s going to change his life. You should join as well. A good school is a great community. He will learn humility there as well.

By that you mean a tax slave to a jewsh system that hates him. I would try to get him on disability and welfare instead. And then get him to learn stock trading, crypto, and real estate, you know, the only things that matter anymore.

Hello. I pray that you and your children be blessed.
Now. All these folks telling you to "get him in sports", "get him in mma". No. Most of those things are heading children in the direction of loving the bread and circus that has brainwashed and trapped so many in the world today. You say you are kind of a traditionalist. Good. The way things went "traditionally" with young White men is that they took up an apprenticeship. "Child labor laws" put an end to this. That was very intentional.
I started very early. My mom's dad would pick me up and take me to people that could use my help. I "mixed mud" for block and brick masons when I was 12. I carried supplies up ladders and scaffolding for builders and roofers when I was 14. The summer I turned 18 I had a real job installing and repairing satellite receivers with an extremely intelligent guy who taught me so much about thinking and using my brain for something other than keeping my ears separated. Lol. Find a man that owns a garage and works on cars for a living. See if your son could clean the place for him and assist when he is working on a car. Find a taxidermist and see if he could teach your son how it is done. Find a plumber or an electrician that wires new houses. He could, again, clean up after the work is done, bring supplies, help out in any way he can. Even if he isn't getting "paid", because of those "child labor laws" he Will be getting "paid" in knowledge and skills. By the time he is 16 and can get a paying job legally, he will already have an idea of what he would like to do, PLUS he could completely skip the whole "flipping burgers" after scrools trap. I never worked for minimum wage and I never went without some kind of employment, unless I wanted to.

I have found that my wife and most of the mothers I know can be rather wishy washy with rules. It depends on their emotions. This is not good for boys. If you set a rule you Have to stick with it! You can't uphold it today then skip it tomorrow because "you don't feel good", or "you don't have time". Set a steady course and Hold to it. If something is wrong today, it's wrong Every day.
This is a marathon. It is not a sprint.
May God bless you and keep you, may He make His face to shine upon you.

Some really great advice on this thread. Strongly recommend limiting the modern paths for laziness: Internet/apps on phone should be limited and blockable by you, video games, etc. limiting these will create an entertainment vacuum that he will seek to fill with more productive activities.

Depends on how you want him to turn out. ZOGbot military influence might help him fit in with the cattle, but would be terrible for his mind. Something like the scouts used to be would be good.


I have no affinity for modern jewish society, so can't help you there. But his life probably would be smoother as a wage slave who obeys his masters.

If you're not going to consider a replacement father, maybe there's some type of mentoring program? Maybe your local scouts aren't 100% with the homo/tranny agenda?

Youth recreational sports are good, even if he’s not good at the sport, he’ll learn to be part of a team, follow instructions from authority (coaches),and develop relationships with his teammates.
Another good venue is martial arts classes.
Or volunteer for the church youth group.
Find something that requires a little responsibility from him, and puts him with other boys his age. They need to be in an organized peer group at that age.

He has no motivation to have discipline when he knows he's going to have to grow up in a multiracial hellscape and will die in poverty without having reproduced no matter how hard he tries.

Teenagers must become a separate person from their parents. Like a two year old says no.

Individuation.

During this time they are often grumpy.

The best discipline is self-discipline. You cannot be there 24x7. You need a reputation of integrity. Then when you tell your kids something they know it is correct.

It does not take motivation to accomplish things it takes time management systems and planning.

For a male role model, sometimes you can find the right Martial Arts instructor. They have to have a good philosophy, and stable marriage. Although not any activity where you get hit in the head.

Have him keep two journals, a private one and another he can review with you. Have him make plans and accomplish them.

Don't have him work on stupid actives, just things that improve him.

Books on investment, small business, time management, memory, reaching goals.

For socializing you need an area with high foot traffic and repeated social contact. Maybe a club or two.

Sugar and carbs makes you lazy, vitamins and protein and exercise help.


https://pdfdrive.com.co/7-habits-of-highly-effective-people-pdf/


https://archive.org/download/rich-dad-poor-dad_202106/Rich%20Dad%20Poor%20Dad.pdf

May God bless you and keep you strong.

He can still go to flex practices to get into shape and earn discipline. He doesn't have to play on the sports team. They would welcome him to come and train with them with open arms. When boys get 13-14 they start getting complicated. I almost smacked my 16 year old on his ass while ago. I'm the wrong muthafucker. That's what I say when they get brave enough to do it. They get mouthy. All those hormones.

Depending on his age, you can make him work after school. Many FF restaurants will hire him. In the summer months he can go cut grass and brush. Or maybe let him work for the Corp Of Engineers. They're always looking for teens to do work around the lakes and rivers. As far as their attitudes, you have to sit them down, get knee to knee and explain to them how bad it hurts you when they speak to you that way so don't do it. When they do phones and games go buh buh. No fucking debates about it. The military base is a bad idea. You do not want your sons thinking its okay to join. EVER! Fuck the jewbag warmongers. You have to have rules and make sure they are followed. Give them an inch and they will take you a country mile. My boys are great boys but they also drive me up the fucking walls. As an older dude I can barely tolerate teen boys. But again, communicate your feelings and make it clear you will not put up with any bullshit. Since they aren't into sports ya gotta keep those minds busy. Also, make them go volunteer at a few diff places. Make sure they put away the dishes, keep their rooms in order and all that.

Welcome to the awkward years. Younger kid who does not look it will come with confidence struggles.

I too was a big kid, uncoordinated and slow but could lift. Started playing football in 8th grade...it worked for me.


Some people see procrastination, others are deadline oriented. Usually if I have no fucks to give, I do the bare minimum to "finish" and move on. What practical hobbies or interests does he have?


Back to being awkwardly big at a young age. I also generally hate most humans, so befriending someone I find irritating is nonsense. Son might be running into the same thing.

Honestly would try to let him lift and see where that takes the confidence, friends and sports aspects. If he likes to lift, he isn't that lazy and is willing to have discipline if it becomes routine.

The most important thing you can teach a child is to critically think for themselves. When they ask you a question, don't give an immediate answer but see where their train of thought leads them. Occasionally ask them what they think about different topics and expand on the conversation a bit.

Number two is young men do better with exercise and sunshine.

Wrestling and rough housing with your children is important. Maybe enroll him in some sort of sports extra curricular activity. Maybe high school wrestling but that's a few years off.

You can't be both mother and father. He needs male role models. Your contemplation of things like Scouts is in the right direction, but you need something that is male only, not modern Scouts.

If he has uncles, that can be something to grow.

If you were Catholic, I would recommend Squires.

Even not being Catholic, good church communities can be a good place to grow.

Boot camp? If it's a male-only boot camp, sure. Believe it or not, a one week long church camp in the summer can sometimes be enough to change his outlook on life. It forces kids to figure out how to socialize and bond. Good life experiences.

Asking for "parental" advice on an open forum web site,is a mistake.

Family members maybe a better option.

Just consider this an edit to add -- thank you for all your great advice so far. To answer a few questions, I only have one sister; I do have a few uncles but I come from an ultra left family and don't have much contact with them since I gained my sanity 20 or so years ago. I do have some mentors who have been great for my son, ex Navy and Marine Corps guys, but indeed not necessarily a fan of the zogbot forces. Although I believe he could get an excellent engineering education in the forces, and I'm not exactly a billionaire, so there's that consideration.

Step one: remove smartphones and video games.

What makes you say he's lazy? If he lifts, he can't be that lazy. I've been called lazy and procrastinator so many times, just for not doing what other people want or expect me to do; but when I'm interested, and do it for myself, I'm very successful. Maybe he's the same. Dip his toes in different waters, no pressure, and see what piques his interest.

Get him under the tutelage of men that will make good mentors. He needs a "coach". If he doesn't want to do sports, try a mixed martial arts gym. It will teach him how to harness and restrain his primal urges. Plus if he acts up and gets rough with you, you can tell his trainer. Then large men skilled in violence will scold him and put him through the paces. Intense training sessions can be worse than an ass whooping, while being more constructive.

Figure out the things you want him to do: more hours on homework, more reading, math, etc.

Figure out the things he wants to do: lifting, video games, tv, internet.

Allow him to do things he wants after he’s spent sufficient time doing the things he should. Lock up the weights if necessary.

I don’t think church conveys a great sense of morals. But the quality of kids that are in church is better than the local public school riffraff. You could send him to youth group.

What sort of school is he attending? Public? There may be some private schools that would give him a scholarship because of your hardship (i.e, widowhood) Many private schools are woke but they are usually more serious academically.

I wouldn’t send him to boot camp. Maybe math camp or coding camp. Maybe theres some non-credit programs nearby where he can learn wood working or 4H type stuff?

How’s his diet? Alot of teens are moody and lazy. There might be some diet changes or even supplements that might improve his mood and energy levels

I was raised by a single mother. I became horrible when I criticized her and thought I was her equal.

Utterly ignore criticism, and never explain or justify yourself. You are the parent.

I think you may be soft of expectations and boundaries. There is a misconception that men are mean when dealing with kids and women try to be mean inorder to act with authority. This is a false line of thinking. The intent of discipline is responsibility for ones action. Set the line, hold the line. No changes, feelings or goal post moving. It is often not doing something that is harder than actually doing something. Got an A on his spelling test? Candy bar. Got a "b" no candy bar. Clearly define expectations and hold exactly those. However - work with him extra so he learns the struggle and the way to win. My wife is weak on expectations but the kids know, if I say something, that is what is going to happen. No fighting, no yelling, exactly what I calmly described would happen will happen. If there is fighting, the punishment gets incrementally worse, every. Single. Time. I am not above throwing a cell phone in the fireplace if I need to.

Mentors are probably where you need to be looking. Also, find things that actually do interest him and work to do more of that. Lifting? Fuck yeah, let's get you some old gym equipment and start protein maxing. Let him help pick and find stuff on Craigslist. Turn him into swole bro at school. Church? Great, youth camp, cca, whatever they call it. Just keep him off the couch and as challenged as you can.

He might find relatable heroes in the Greek or Roman conquest stories(instead of finding sports heroes), or look up your heritage and show him heroes from your culture. Find heroic authors - Hemingway, or Twain are an easy start. I loved Steinbeck but there are many. Iron John is a book that he will eventually grow into. Take him to volunteer at a local prison, or shelter, give him real life experiences, don't sugar coat things.

All men fail and let down their children. Trust God, he is the only father that will never fail.

Good luck, sorry to hear about your husband.
Ps- send bobs and vegene

have rules. if he breaks the rules, he gets punished. no need to get angry or upset or do drama, just be calm and explain he broke the rules and has to pay the consequences. he wants to play video games? play by the rules. he wants to go to the gym? play by the rules. hang out with friends? play by the rules. he'll have a fit and freak out and scream and do all sorts of drama, but just remain calm and let him know he broke the rules and he must pay the piper. it will be VERY difficult, especially through 14 to 16, but if you stay the course, he will absolutely respect you for it.
and just as important, you need to continue to develop your relationship with him. he needs to have a loving parent, otherwise the discipline will not work. your aim is for more loving interactions than discipline interactions. not always possible, but it is a goal you need to strive for.
and don't forget to NOT HOLD GRUDGES. be very forgiving, but still hold to the consequences. he yells at you or disrespects, give the punishment, but don't hold on to the hurt. wake up the next day and smile and say good morning. he'll grump and moan, but he will come around.

edit:
also try praying as a family. look into the church groups and see if there is a boys club or something he could join. but make sure it isnt lefty commie infiltrated crap.