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My Mother is 72 and Her Money Is Running Out

submitted by TheBigGuyFromQueens to whatever 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:04:33 ago (+4/-1)     (whatever)

I have a studio apartment and thus no room to put her up. Last year, I tried to buy us both a 2BR condo in Pittsburgh, but she sold out on me at the last minute and I lost my good faith deposit. For the best. I don’t want to be tied to America. I am going abroad in 3-4 years and am suggesting she does the same. Her family is dead except for a nephew and a niece, her husband is dead and she no longer talks to my father’s side of the family, so she isn’t deeply rooted to NY.

I sent her this email:

Mom:

I was thinking about our brief conversation regarding your finances. You had mentioned going to Social Services, which I had emailed you about last year. I looked online and apparently, the office is in Uniondale. I can tell you from my own experiences in my 20’s trying to get benefits for a brief time that these people are fucking nasty and are only concerned with servicing people who look like them. No matter how polite and cordial you are to them, they will likely be nasty to you and will look to passively or even actively undermine your applications. They’re real pieces of shit (some racist—and not civilly racist like me where they’re able to put their philosophies aside to be fair) who are emboldened by having the safety net of a government job. I looked online at the reviews and they’re terrible.

I would say that if you think you’re going to go that route, then get down there soon, because you’re a White citizen and you will be low priority contrasted against Blacks and particularly illegal aliens. Get down there so you can have a baseline/understanding of what needs to be done and perhaps get paperwork rolling on shit that may take 6 months to 2 years to get approved. You don’t want to be at the mercy of these people when you really have no resources. Also: Do your own research before you go down there so you’re armed with more knowledge and they can’t screw you over as much as someone completely ignorant of the system.

The best solution, IMO, is to preserve your dignity and your remaining wealth and go somewhere else. You really get more bang for your buck in another country, but you can maybe stay in America and go to like Western Pennsylvania. You can downsize to a 1BR apartment and pay like $1150 a month. Your Social Security benefits will go so much further and you will likely be treated better by Social Services there. Everything else will likely be a little cheaper as well: Food, Cable, Etc.. You can maybe take your remaining funds and buy yourself a little place before you spend down everything. Then, you’ll only pay a maintenance fee of $200-$600 a month which would leave you a lot of money from Social Security left over depending on the size of the place you get. I’d imagine at this point with the funds you presently have that you’d only be able to buy a studio or 1BR, but for you that is fine. You could probably get a studio out there for $90K and a 1BR for like $140K.

If I were you, I’d just go to another country. You can live like a queen relative to here for just $750-$850 a month. Full luxury condo. Gym, pool, doorman, security, on-site shopping, trains nearby, botanical gardens, etc. Look in South America, look in Asia. Places without Communism and where they don’t kill Americans and Whites. Paraguay, Chile, Argentina, Ecuador, Uruguay, Thailand, Cambodia Malaysia, Philippines….all cheaper than cheap than states in the U.S..


34 comments block


[ - ] con77 1 point 4 monthsJan 9, 2025 13:35:56 ago (+1/-0)

Does she own where she lives now? My Mom, 86, is looking at an assisted living condo in St Pete. Buy in is $80K. They get 2 meals a day and everything else is included. No matter how long they live.
edit: theres a ton of resorts down here youre probably qualified to work at. less money but no city or state taxes! can you drive?

When she passes away the condo reverts to the company.

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] 0 points 4 monthsJan 9, 2025 13:40:55 ago (+1/-1)

She is 72. Will be 73 in May. I don't drive. I'm not going to Florida, but that is good info. Thanks.

[ - ] con77 1 point 4 monthsJan 9, 2025 14:13:43 ago (+1/-0)

good luck I hear American enclaves in mexico, thailand, and the phillipines are very comfortable. but I bet your mom would hate it.

[ - ] Master_Foo 5 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 08:15:26 ago (+5/-0)

City people problems can be easily solved by liquidating all your city assets and repurposing them to be rural assets.

[ - ] clymer 5 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 06:07:27 ago (+5/-0)

I lived in uniondale back in the mid 80's, lol (was going to Nassau Community College). I went through the same thing with my mother back in 2011. She sucked with money. Pissed through it all after her ex husband croaked. Her health was failing in her mid 70's because she sucked down a 5th of rotgut scotch every other day, for 50 years. I filled out the HUD paperwork and got her into a HUD-subsidized shoebox apartment, about a mile away from where I was living in MA. I then did her grocery shopping weekly, took her to doctor appointments, dentist, hearing aids, clothing stores, etc. Got over there and made her walk regularly. I took care of her for 10 years, right up until her health reached a point of daily care (her heart started to fail, ankles swelled up from lack of blood flow, wouldn't get off the couch). Then I got her into FOUR (4) different living care facilities because each one she resisted. it SUCKED. The paperwork, the people, dealing with the genesis health care administrators. Then, after I got her into the last one, covid shit happened. Restricted visiting hours, mandatory masks, plexiglass during visit between us, with 6' distance. They couldn't keep her hearing aids working. She understood none of it and the place and regulations surrounding covid basically rendered it a prison. She gave up on life and stopped even drinking water. She died a few months later. My heart goes out to you, it sucks. But iv'e been through it

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] 0 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 06:12:13 ago (+1/-1)

Oh wow. I also went or NCC for a semester back in ‘92. Your situation with your mom sounds terrible. I was a caretaker for my Grandfather back when I was 28, but i didn’t do half the shit you did. You’re a saint. Damn.

[ - ] clymer 1 point 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 06:33:50 ago (+1/-0)

Yeah, I was only there for one semester myself. I had an older brother that was getting his masters at Hofstra in 87. I was a 17 yo high school drop out with a GED, wasn't even have supposed to have graduated high school as of yet, but he got me in there to start college courses. Before heading down to Long Island, I underestimated the amount of smoking hot NY chicks there are. Nassau was teeming with them

[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 07:08:03 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] -1 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 07:05:50 ago (+0/-1)

What town on LI is your family from? One side of my family is from Bushwick BK/Ridgewood Queens and the other side is from Franklin Square, LI

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] -1 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 07:08:12 ago (+0/-1)

My father was a math professor at Hofstra, Adelphi, CW Post and a few other schools. He never got tenured.

[ - ] clymer 1 point 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 06:33:50 ago (+1/-0)

Yeah, I was only there for one semester myself. I had an older brother that was getting his masters at Hofstra in 87. I was a 17 yo high school drop out with a GED, wasn't even have supposed to have graduated high school as of yet, but he got me in there to start college courses. Before heading down to Long Island, I underestimated the amount of smoking hot NY chicks there are. Nassau was teeming with them

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] -1 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 06:16:32 ago (+0/-1)

Oh wow. I also went or NCC for a semester back in ‘92. Your situation with your mom sounds terrible. I was a caretaker for my Grandfather back when I was 28, but i didn’t do half the shit you did. You’re a saint. Damn.

[ - ] bobdole9 4 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 07:57:50 ago (+4/-0)

Might be worth exploring the southeast before going international, unless she is incredibly dedicated with GTFO. 72 is a bit old for that.

What are your / her requirements for acceptable locations?

[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 15:52:33 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] -1 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 15:52:00 ago (+0/-1)

She refuses to leave. She is not really considering it.

[ - ] observation1 4 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:12:34 ago (+4/-0)

Put the work in for her, you ass.

She raised you. You get your ass down there and you fill that fucking paperwork out. And then you do it again. Make the calls for low income. There's programs in every state.

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 3 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 09:34:03 ago (+3/-0)

You should tell her to beg for money on upgoat then go on an expensive vacation, like you did.

[ - ] Gowithit 3 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 09:36:35 ago (+3/-0)

expensive. haha.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 15:51:56 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] -1 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 15:48:58 ago (+0/-1)*

We have gone through this several times. That is not what happened and I have challenged you and a couple of your alias accounts to use your autism and dig through the old posts so you would see how wrong you are.
This will be the 3rd of 4th time that I am explaining this, so I’m going to keep it to like 2 sentences:
Last year, several people on here suggested I set up a Venmo or a Paypal because they liked some content I was making. I didn’t do that right away. A couple of months later, I did. In an entirely separate set of posts, I revealed that I was going to be dealing with a medical issue that I would be paying out of pocket for. Not once did I do a GoFundMe style sob story saying people should send me money for that. The post where I linked my PayPal was beforehand and discussed how I was requested to do so.

[ - ] Gowithit 2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 09:43:33 ago (+2/-0)

You called it.

It would be great if she would join you wherever you are going. waiting for an apartment through social services might drive her to change her mind They will have her take a class where some nigger will have a power trip and she'll have to suck that up just to get on a list to then wait.

Whole process takes almost two years and thats with being pushed up front if she has a "disability".

Good luck, I know you tried.

[ - ] John_doe 2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 08:29:02 ago (+2/-0)

Your mom is 72. You will have to help her. Your advice is useless. They will always treat old people like shit.

[ - ] pickingrinninspittin 2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 08:08:05 ago (+2/-0)*

I know you want to help your mom but the truth is that you probably don't understand where her head is at and as a result all of your attempts, well intentioned and well reasoned that they may be, are a waste of time. She may not even want you to know how she's feeling -- getting old comes with a sense of vulnerability that is very unsettling -- and so no amount of talking with her may bring any illumination for you.

My point being that the best approach may be to take a back seat and wait until everything blows up, then step in to make the hard decisions for her. It's hardly an ideal choice but there's a good chance this is what's going to happen regardless, so you might as well take it easy on yourself.

Dave Barry wrote a short piece about what it was like after his father died and his mother was at loose ends. About how frustrating it was for him because he just "wanted to help" her but nothing he did made it better. It really helped me put things into perspective when I went through much the same with my parents years later.

[edit] here it is https://www.davebarry.com/gg/lostinamerica.html

[ - ] paul_neri 2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:26:56 ago (+2/-0)

BigGuy...aren't you worried about being lonely abroad if your mum doesn't accompany you? What happens if you get ill? You'll have no support network. People think going overseas is going to be an adventure etc and possibly it will be but shit happens.

[ - ] paul_neri 2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:12:17 ago (+2/-0)

Dude, the woman needs you. She's by herself and at 72 yo.

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] -1 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:19:38 ago (+0/-1)

Read the thread. I already lost money trying to buy a place for her. I will do what I can to facilitate her relocation. I’d really like her to come abroad with me, but that’s about it. She has known for the past 3 years that the money is running out, but she spends it like a Puerto Rican on the 1st of the month. Had she pulled up the stakes last year, she wouldn’t have even needed me to buy her a place—she had enough money to do that on her own. I’m not going to be like Norman Bates living with my elderly mother. I’m glad she sabotaged that plan. She can go wherever I’m going and rent a place in rhe same neighborhood or complex.

[ - ] paul_neri 2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:23:05 ago (+2/-0)

"She can go wherever I’m going and rent a place in rhe same neighborhood or complex.".

I feel better now.

[ - ] xmasskull 2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:10:03 ago (+3/-1)

WELCONE TO BIDEN America!**

[ - ] Sal_180 -6 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 06:07:32 ago (+0/-6)

Biden? Lol, welcome to capitalism. Once you finish working, kill yourself. Any handouts are socialism. You honestly think things for her would be better under a Republican president?

[ - ] DukeofRaul 2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:07:17 ago (+3/-1)

How old of a mom?

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] 0 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:08:11 ago (+2/-2)

72. It is in the thread title.

[ - ] DukeofRaul 4 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:12:56 ago (+4/-0)

No offemse but newyork apartmemts art too exensive. Id rather move to japanland and habe fun than take care of your mom

[ - ] paul_neri 1 point 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:17:42 ago (+1/-0)

She might have been a good mum.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:14:58 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Sal_180 -3 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 05:55:42 ago (+1/-4)

Imagine telling your 72 year old mother she should look at property in Paraguay. Lol


Renting is shit. Buy a house, not a condo. Renting is dead money.

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] -2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 06:03:56 ago (+1/-3)

Imagine telling your 72 year-old mother who has never lived in a house in her life, that she now has to take care of a house. Condo is the way to go for elderly people. I’m the only child. I don’t need her to leave me anything. Paraguay makes a lot of sense if you’re living on a fixed income. You live very well down there on Social Security. Should she continue to live in America until she dies in a violent ape robbery at some elderly homeless shelter?

[ - ] Sal_180 -2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 07:51:48 ago (+1/-3)

Getting a house cleaner on once a week is a lot easier than relocating to Paraguay dipshit

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens [op] -2 points 4 monthsJan 4, 2025 16:18:35 ago (+0/-2)

Hiring landscapers, replacing roofs and boilers, maintaining the sidewalk so you don’t get sued into oblivion if some nigger does a slip and fall in front of your house.