If you're not using a bidet at this point you're just a filthy beast! - Upgoat

If you're not using a bidet at this point you're just a filthy beast!
submitted by con77 to whatever 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 18:21:50 ago (+20/-1) (whatever)

I installed one myself. Cost like $30

[ - ] Portmanure 10 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 18:30:53 ago (+10/-0)

You’ve got a point. Your war against klingons is noble. I choose to fight them in the shower, I control my diet, bowel movement occurs regularly, but in the real world of untimely movements, a bidet is a war winner. klingons must be eliminated, “Let them die” - Adm Kirk, Starfleet.

[ + ] anrach

[ - ] anrach 5 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 19:26:58 ago (+5/-0)

Admiral Cartwright did nothing wrong

[ + ] Portmanure

[ - ] Portmanure 1 point 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:34:39 ago (+1/-0)

But, but, but…he framed the good captain and the beloved doctor! Life in prison for a crime they didn’t commit. Kind of like the alleged UHC CEO assassin…

(He was right about klingons, those pos’s!)

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 6 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 18:53:23 ago (+6/-0)

Is it the "OLD FAITHFULL" DELUX MODEL...or is it the upgraded "FIRE HYDRANT" SUPREME?...both will get you to "new heights" in hygiene.

[ + ] con77

[ - ] con77 [op] 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 19:57:28 ago (+4/-0)

Looks like a stainless steel garden hose

[ - ] BoozyB 6 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:27:08 ago (+6/-0)

I just hop up next to the vanity sink, turn the water on and scrub my ass with the ole lady's toothbrush. /S

[ + ] con77

[ - ] con77 [op] 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:31:28 ago (+3/-0)

A man's man!

[ + ] beece

[ - ] beece 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:43:39 ago (+2/-0)

LOL, don't try that with my old ladys tooth brush BoozyB! LOL

[ - ] TheodoreKent 5 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 19:14:51 ago (+5/-0)

I wipe my ass with a rag on a stick

[ + ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 7 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:24:58 ago (+7/-0)

Are you so fat you can’t reach the asshole?🤣
Remember Poal?

[ + ] JudyStroyer

[ - ] JudyStroyer 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:58:26 ago (+4/-0)

remember poal?

Is that place even still alive? Wasn’t TK bangin aou? Or am I misremembering?

[ + ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 2 points 4 monthsDec 28, 2024 04:37:58 ago (+2/-0)

Idk, but back in 2019 OP and I were voted ‘most racist contributors’ for that year!

[ + ] TheodoreKent

[ - ] TheodoreKent 0 points 4 monthsDec 29, 2024 17:00:49 ago (+0/-0)

Do you remember Puttitout banning me from old Voat for calling him on out his shit?

[ + ] JudyStroyer

[ - ] JudyStroyer 0 points 4 monthsJan 1, 2025 11:15:04 ago (+0/-0)

Nah bro. Dont care. Anyone buddying up to aou is a perma fag with intestinal issues.

[ - ] Sector2 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 18:58:47 ago (+4/-0)

Soap and water > water.

[ - ] beece 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 19:05:34 ago (+4/-0)*

Wife made me install one in every bathroom on all 3 floors after a trip to Japan. I priced out the fantastic Toto electric heated Bidet/toilet seats they have over there but we:

A) Don't have electricity anywhere near any of them, and
B) $700 each.

Wonderful and amazing things no doubt, but...not worth the $ over a simple bidet sprayer. I think she noted that those were @ $40 each.

[ + ] Stonkmar

[ - ] Stonkmar 5 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 19:33:09 ago (+5/-0)

You got ripped off. $40 on amazon

[ + ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:23:34 ago (+3/-0)

I have the Toto Washlet. Worth every Penny of $1600 for toilet and seat.

[ - ] NeonGreen 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:02:11 ago (+4/-0)

I myself have been on the wet wipe path for almost 12 years now. I used to time my shits with a shower so I could be nice and fresh. You're 100% correct using toilet paper is disgusting.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:21:49 ago (+5/-1)

When I had my bathroom remodeled in 2021, I had a Toto Washlet installed. Toto toilet and seat. Best $1600 I ever spent. Warm seat, sprays a mist over the water to block odors. Fan comes on to suck poop odors through charcoal vent. Warm water washes me arsehole. There’s a blow dryer, but I ain’t got time for that. I dab me arse with some TP and I’m good to go.
Pooping is fun now.

[ + ] Deleted

[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 28, 2024 01:37:53 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Steelerfish 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 23:29:42 ago (+3/-0)

I got a bidet after the house flooded from Helene and we stayed after the mitigation…
Never had one before.
Although the neighbor behind us may not appreciate me using the garden hose to gently squirt my bunghole….

But hot damn! It’s refreshing.

[ - ] Peleg 3 points 4 monthsDec 28, 2024 10:26:12 ago (+3/-0)

"He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!"

[ + ] con77

[ - ] con77 [op] 1 point 4 monthsDec 28, 2024 15:01:53 ago (+1/-0)

Savage

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 21:19:04 ago (+2/-0)

I'm not spraying water on my asshole like some yuppie. I wipe my ass with TP and finish with a wet wipe. lol

[ - ] NoRefunds 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 23:19:14 ago (+2/-0)

I have one on every toilet. The thing is, freezing cold water dritectly up your asshole is so hard to get used to, especially in winter when coming straight from a 32° pipe.

[ - ] Trope 1 point 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:22:05 ago (+2/-1)

I was going to buy one but didn’t want cold water spraying into my arse.

And the switch would have been literally behind the toilet.

Fortunately, the toilet is right next to the shower so we just shower every time we poo…

[ + ] con77

[ - ] con77 [op] 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:30:22 ago (+2/-0)

Suuuuure ya do

[ - ] Trickthegoy7 1 point 4 monthsDec 28, 2024 01:36:47 ago (+1/-0)

They make that toilet paper out of some messed up chemicals. But I refuse to embrace eastern traditions.

[ - ] MasklessTheGreat 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 19:00:01 ago (+1/-1)

I use butt wipes. Same difference. Fuck off.

[ + ] con77

[ - ] con77 [op] 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 19:58:29 ago (+3/-0)

.commoner

[ + ] 3Whuurs

[ - ] 3Whuurs 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:35:34 ago (+2/-0)

Dry,
Wipe, wet wipe then dry again, is cleaner than spraying shit all over the toilet every time and still having to dry your ass with a shared towel..

[ + ] Hh

[ - ] Hh 1 point 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:34:43 ago (+1/-0)

Nope. You run out of wipes. I never ran out of water.

[ + ] 3Whuurs

[ - ] 3Whuurs 1 point 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 21:15:50 ago (+1/-0)

Dry,
Wipe, wet wipe then dry again, is cleaner than spraying shit all over the toilet every time and still having to dry your ass with a shared towel..

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens -1 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 20:57:13 ago (+0/-1)

I wipe my ass with sand like a bedouin

[ + ] JudyStroyer

[ - ] JudyStroyer 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 21:00:58 ago (+4/-0)

You should combine the two (sand out of bidet)for maximum effectiveness

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If you're not using a bidet at this point you're just a filthy beast! submitted by con77 to whatever 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 18:21:50 ago (+20/-1) (whatever)

If you're not using a bidet at this point you're just a filthy beast!
submitted by con77 to whatever 4 monthsDec 27, 2024 18:21:50 ago (+20/-1) (whatever)