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5

How I decided what to have for breakfast

submitted by titstitstits to TellUpgoat 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 10:08:29 ago (+8/-3)     (TellUpgoat)

Turns out an egg mcmuffin has a pretty good calorie to protein ratio but what pushed me over the edge for McDonalds was:

Donald Trump!

Now, McDonalds only serves Woka-Cola so I had to go to the gas station for my caffeinated beverage.

1. I would have preferred black rifle coffee but didn't they reveal themselves to be politically unpalatable during covid? Oh well, I can't remember but this gas station doesn't have black rifle coffee anyways.

2. Next choice would be Starbucks (aka nigger coffee) but I definitely hate their politics so fuck you nigger coffee.

3. I ended up with a red bull because they are pretty good and as far as I know their only politics are action sports like landing planes on skyscrapers, and that's something I can get behind.


28 comments block

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[ - ] gardella 8 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 10:50:12 ago (+8/-0)

Blackout coffee instead of black rifle, black rifle does not support the 2A, blackout does: https://www.blackoutcoffee.com

[ - ] BulletStopper 1 point 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 11:20:56 ago (+1/-0)*

Came to say this. Beat me to it by 30 minutes.

https://www.blackoutcoffee.com/collections/single-serve-coffee-pods/products/brewtal-awakening-dark-roast-coffee-pods

One of these and a zyn pouch to start the day. Get shit done.

https://files.catbox.moe/vzjsly.jpg

@titstitstits , if you make your coffee WITH redbull you can see sounds.

Got halfway to the shop and realized I'd forgotten the truck.

[ - ] RobertJHarsh 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 13:15:18 ago (+0/-0)

I've seen that black rifle trash in the stores.

[ - ] inaminit 5 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 10:15:17 ago (+6/-1)

Coffee and a Camel is the breakfast of Champions.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 3 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 10:27:15 ago (+3/-0)

That's what I had for breakfast for about 25 years. Quit smoking a couple months before my wedding, picked it back up the day before. We got married at state Park, and the camp store doesn't sell camels. So now I smoke American spirits. Also, I used to just drink my coffee black but since I quit drinking I add milk and sugar. Haven't done that in twenty years, but here we are.

[ - ] jfroybees 1 point 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 14:33:15 ago (+1/-0)

Seiously, AS cigs are real tobacco. There ain't puffing mindlessly with those. Those are the 3-a-day smokes.

[ - ] Tallest_Skil 4 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 10:13:11 ago (+4/-0)

The worst part of this is that if it wasn’t posted here, I wouldn’t be able to tell if it was satire.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 3 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 10:21:31 ago (+3/-0)

McDonald’s 365 black.
Starbucks ceo wanted to employ 10k Somalians, gave money to BLM.
Black Rifle is a bunch of wannabe military faggots.

[ - ] Lost_In_The_Thinking 6 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 10:45:17 ago (+6/-0)

Black Rifle is owned by jews.

[ - ] DukeofRaul 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 13:00:04 ago (+0/-0)

Black rifle coffee enema in the morning

[ - ] Drstrangestgov 2 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 11:34:26 ago (+2/-0)

I either have bacon and eggs or eggs and bacon and lots of coffee

[ - ] Sector2 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 11:40:33 ago (+0/-0)

https://hemplers.com/product-types/bacon/

If you like thick cut with mostly meat, check out this bacon. Found at my local Costco.

[ - ] drstrangergov 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 12:24:33 ago (+0/-0)

we have a local company called "redneck meats" that sells the best pork products ever. their ends and pieces cut bacon are just big chunks of bacon. they make brats and kielbasas, etc as well.

[ - ] Sector2 1 point 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 12:32:28 ago (+1/-0)

https://www.instagram.com/redneckmeats/?hl=en (faceberg warning)

Stomach is growling now.

[ - ] drstrangergov 1 point 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 12:34:13 ago (+1/-0)

"cottage bacon" is the best breakfast food you will ever eat.

[ - ] PostWallHelena 2 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 14:14:21 ago (+2/-0)

Here’s a thought. Quit caffeine. Its an addictive drug that you don’t need at all.

I never thought I could do it but I did. Im not more tired. In fact Im in a much better mood in the mornings. I drink decaf tea if I want something warm. Decaf coffee has too much caffeine.

Once you get through the withdrawal symptoms you won’t miss it. I weaned myself off over about 6 weeks and felt completely normal after another month or so. Biggest symptom was some midday sleepiness.

Stop giving jewish corporations and shitskin farmers your money for something you don’t need.

[ - ] ProudRebel 1 point 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 10:35:08 ago (+1/-0)

Scandinavian brewed Gevalia coffee from my American made Bunn coffee maker. Since I quit drinking my morning coffee is my favorite meal of the day. I love waking without a hangover and having some delicious coffee.

[ - ] Master_Foo 1 point 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 11:42:48 ago (+1/-0)

How would you feel if you didn't decide what to eat for breakfast?

[ - ] Sleazy 1 point 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 12:17:29 ago (+1/-0)

degenerate fucking caffeine addicts are disgusting

you bastards will do anything for a fix

[ - ] Anus_Expander 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 16:39:59 ago (+0/-0)

OH YES, WE WILL!

[ - ] puremadness 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 13:34:55 ago (+0/-0)

water,
tea,
plain coffee

0 sugar

[ - ] MaryXmas 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 15:24:37 ago (+0/-0)

This is a joke right? Just saying, a barred rock and a side of pork doesn't have any political affiliation.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 16:38:39 ago (+0/-0)

RedBull is for powerbottoms

[ - ] titstitstits [op] 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 19:50:02 ago (+0/-0)

hey did you know that 99% of what makes anuses expand is actually poop?

[ - ] Anus_Expander 0 points 5 monthsNov 18, 2024 07:18:43 ago (+0/-0)

Meet me at the Orlando West Motel 6, and let's talk about the other 1%, faggot.

[ - ] carnold03 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 16:56:01 ago (+0/-0)

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 0 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 17:05:47 ago (+0/-0)

Try making your own egg mcmuffin. It tastes way better (salt + pepper it), has less calories, less unknown garbage, real ingredients, and 98% less nigger spit.

Thermos of home-brewed coffee. As cheap or as fancy as you like, stays hot all day, way better than the other choices out there. This also works for tea.

And yes, you can pre-make these items the night before if you can't be assed to get up early enough to make them that day.

[ - ] DukeofRaul -1 points 5 monthsNov 17, 2024 10:13:14 ago (+0/-1)

I smell my own farts for breakfast