In God's wisdom revealed to me by reading the living Word in Ecclesiastes, is how Christ met with me finally, and He met me in my sin! And he put in me, a new heart!
Christ met with me, in my sin, Sept 25, after reading through Ecclesiastes. Praise to the glory of God & his grace & mercy. His patience for me endured more than 40 years! The God of Abraham and Isaac, and in Christ, is a Living God, and I will forever be thankful & praise him for his patience with me, and for the grace of salvation in the cross. God's word and promise is eternal, and perfect, and for ALL, even a sinner like me.
After 18 yrs married to a devout, Christian wife, and she herself met with Christ 10 years ago, I still hadn't met the conditions for salvation, but I was deluded in thinking i am doing just enough for squeezing by into heaven.
I've had a tumultuous upbringing. My father destroyed my mother psychologically, and physically abusive to her. She took her life when I was young. He Remarried and had a decent stepmom but there was never love and he didn't know how to raise kids. I never knew love. Not even after marrying I didn't know love. But constantly hearing at church of 'god's love in Christ crucified and risen for your sins', it turned into a cliche. At least for me... Always saying it getting a momentary feel of thankfulness never going any deeper than that iny heart...
And because of shit parenting, out of 4 siblings at home 3 of them left early because psychological terror and physical abuse at home. Somehow I was the only one to withstand it, and was the only one to leave without causing a big stink & ruckus.
Because of a dysfunctional family, having been raised without wisdom and in a worldly way, and my three sibling having problems with kids that are either very worldly(sleeping around at 13), or pathological liars, or drugs, or bad in school, it's obvious to see there was never a Christian born again role model to follow in the family, even though parents turned us all Christian, when I was about ~15, started going to church. There should be zero expectation from me to have any better family or better kids, compared to my siblings.
Yet God worked at my heart for 18 long years, after marriage, through my wife. Then through my 3 children, who are scared to lie and will not do so, who are all straight A students and who love me even though I'd been a shitty father, God showed me that he loves me in Sept, because it's only through Him that my wife, testifies, was able to raise such good, lie-fearing kids. I can't say that they love God, because they haven't met with him, but they have fear of him, in a good way, and that's good because the beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord.
I didn't really feel that I had to try harder to be Christian, and boy was I wrong. Turns out that if you-re not a born-again Christian, you're OUT...
So the recent happenings: sis-in-law had visited us for a week, & we haven't seen her in about 10 years(thousands of km apart). She's not married, cute, Godly(very!), and I had liked her since before marrying her sister. But her sister showed me kindness and affection first, so I took it. So now that sis in law visited, it irked me knowing that she wouldn't have married me, because I wasn't 'Christian enough'. So now this stirred me, and made me to hate my weak character, always blending in with whatever crowd I happen to be hanging around with, adapting new norms and ethics almost on the fly. So then sis in law visits, and low key affection resurfaces, but I tamper it, because I'm Christian and should know better, and I was successful to keep it tampered, but the soul is still stubborn and still it made me hate my character, so how tampered was it really?
After she left, I opened one of the kids' Bible that was lying around, and i hadn't read the Bible in, maybe 5 years, and the kid has the bookmark at Ecclesiastes, so i start from the beginning. Still irked about the whole thing, now desperately want change in my heart! I want to be Godly! Where to start? What to do? I'd done this before and given up.
Ecclesiastes was perfect. Godly wisdom for worldly people. Solomon was writing from a world point of view. I Was praying for wisdom! I wanted it! I needed it! I hated my character, so I was desperate to have a breakthrough so that I would stop hating myself. About a week later, in the evening, the selfish soul is still not letting go of the affection. So I tried to convince myself that its not love. I can't dare love seone else, I'm already married, & I wouldn't have it!
So then the thought came, that you can only love someone once you know them well, personally. Well I don't know her well, nor personally. So then I thought 'infatuation'. What's the definition for that? Strong feelings for someone you don't really know. Ok. Good, it's not love ,so I'm still safe I thought. (But even that was a lie because you're supposed to guard the heart from affections.)
So then while thinking about love & infatuation, another thought passed thought my head.... Do I love God? It can't be! Because I don't know him. I don't read the Bible. How can I say I love him! So then I'm just infatuated with God? No. It can't be, because of very recent personal happenings, I know what infatuation feels like & I don't even feel that way towards God!
Then, the question finally popped into my head, 'does God love me?. What has God done for me to prove that he loves me?' & a crushing thought flooded my mind & melted my heart, as if he spoke to me directly. ' I gave you 3 good, well mannered, straight a students' and right away my thoughts also wandered to the state of my niece's & nephews, & I felt my heart finally truly praise God, and love God, because I realized how much God loves me to give me not one good kid and two bad, or not just two good kids and one bad, but three, excellent children! And then almost immediately after this, in my mind's eye I saw The Cross shoot from a vast, distant place and there it stood right next to me, towering above me, with Christ dead on it yet resurrected and my iniquities justified, and I cried, & finally my heart understood, & the love of God was revealed to me in Christ. Praised be to God.
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
And only by this Miracle through the holy Spirit, can we enter into His promise. And my lustful heart just melted away. My eyes no longer wander, as if a new heart in me. And now when anger overcomes me, when I sit and pray, it melts away, and my anger used to overcome me! It has to be a new heart in us. Spontaneous, new heart.
What a beautiful testimony bro. Thanks so much for sharing it. Ecclesiastes is such a deeply sobering read, even darkly so, but ultimately such an uplifting and inspiring book. It’s clear Solomon had walked into a place of true despair and only the unvarnished truth and inspiration of Elohiym was sufficient to walk him back out again. Hallelujah.
[ + ] dosvydanya_freedomz
[ - ] dosvydanya_freedomz 2 points 6 monthsNov 9, 2024 08:29:11 ago (+2/-0)
its a profound but tetric book all around.it will blackpill you. of course, after the revelation of christ in the new testament the believer has hope
[ + ] dontbeaphaggot
[ - ] dontbeaphaggot 2 points 6 monthsNov 9, 2024 13:05:06 ago (+2/-0)
Christ met with me, in my sin, Sept 25, after reading through Ecclesiastes. Praise to the glory of God & his grace & mercy. His patience for me endured more than 40 years! The God of Abraham and Isaac, and in Christ, is a Living God, and I will forever be thankful & praise him for his patience with me, and for the grace of salvation in the cross. God's word and promise is eternal, and perfect, and for ALL, even a sinner like me.
After 18 yrs married to a devout, Christian wife, and she herself met with Christ 10 years ago, I still hadn't met the conditions for salvation, but I was deluded in thinking i am doing just enough for squeezing by into heaven.
I've had a tumultuous upbringing. My father destroyed my mother psychologically, and physically abusive to her. She took her life when I was young. He Remarried and had a decent stepmom but there was never love and he didn't know how to raise kids. I never knew love. Not even after marrying I didn't know love. But constantly hearing at church of 'god's love in Christ crucified and risen for your sins', it turned into a cliche. At least for me... Always saying it getting a momentary feel of thankfulness never going any deeper than that iny heart...
And because of shit parenting, out of 4 siblings at home 3 of them left early because psychological terror and physical abuse at home. Somehow I was the only one to withstand it, and was the only one to leave without causing a big stink & ruckus.
Because of a dysfunctional family, having been raised without wisdom and in a worldly way, and my three sibling having problems with kids that are either very worldly(sleeping around at 13), or pathological liars, or drugs, or bad in school, it's obvious to see there was never a Christian born again role model to follow in the family, even though parents turned us all Christian, when I was about ~15, started going to church. There should be zero expectation from me to have any better family or better kids, compared to my siblings.
Yet God worked at my heart for 18 long years, after marriage, through my wife. Then through my 3 children, who are scared to lie and will not do so, who are all straight A students and who love me even though I'd been a shitty father, God showed me that he loves me in Sept, because it's only through Him that my wife, testifies, was able to raise such good, lie-fearing kids. I can't say that they love God, because they haven't met with him, but they have fear of him, in a good way, and that's good because the beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord.
I didn't really feel that I had to try harder to be Christian, and boy was I wrong. Turns out that if you-re not a born-again Christian, you're OUT...
So the recent happenings: sis-in-law had visited us for a week, & we haven't seen her in about 10 years(thousands of km apart). She's not married, cute, Godly(very!), and I had liked her since before marrying her sister. But her sister showed me kindness and affection first, so I took it. So now that sis in law visited, it irked me knowing that she wouldn't have married me, because I wasn't 'Christian enough'. So now this stirred me, and made me to hate my weak character, always blending in with whatever crowd I happen to be hanging around with, adapting new norms and ethics almost on the fly. So then sis in law visits, and low key affection resurfaces, but I tamper it, because I'm Christian and should know better, and I was successful to keep it tampered, but the soul is still stubborn and still it made me hate my character, so how tampered was it really?
After she left, I opened one of the kids' Bible that was lying around, and i hadn't read the Bible in, maybe 5 years, and the kid has the bookmark at Ecclesiastes, so i start from the beginning. Still irked about the whole thing, now desperately want change in my heart! I want to be Godly! Where to start? What to do? I'd done this before and given up.
Ecclesiastes was perfect. Godly wisdom for worldly people. Solomon was writing from a world point of view. I Was praying for wisdom! I wanted it! I needed it! I hated my character, so I was desperate to have a breakthrough so that I would stop hating myself. About a week later, in the evening, the selfish soul is still not letting go of the affection. So I tried to convince myself that its not love. I can't dare love seone else, I'm already married, & I wouldn't have it!
So then the thought came, that you can only love someone once you know them well, personally. Well I don't know her well, nor personally. So then I thought 'infatuation'. What's the definition for that? Strong feelings for someone you don't really know. Ok. Good, it's not love ,so I'm still safe I thought. (But even that was a lie because you're supposed to guard the heart from affections.)
So then while thinking about love & infatuation, another thought passed thought my head.... Do I love God? It can't be! Because I don't know him. I don't read the Bible. How can I say I love him! So then I'm just infatuated with God? No. It can't be, because of very recent personal happenings, I know what infatuation feels like & I don't even feel that way towards God!
Then, the question finally popped into my head, 'does God love me?. What has God done for me to prove that he loves me?'
& a crushing thought flooded my mind & melted my heart, as if he spoke to me directly. ' I gave you 3 good, well mannered, straight a students' and right away my thoughts also wandered to the state of my niece's & nephews, & I felt my heart finally truly praise God, and love God, because I realized how much God loves me to give me not one good kid and two bad, or not just two good kids and one bad, but three, excellent children! And then almost immediately after this, in my mind's eye I saw The Cross shoot from a vast, distant place and there it stood right next to me, towering above me, with Christ dead on it yet resurrected and my iniquities justified, and I cried, & finally my heart understood, & the love of God was revealed to me in Christ. Praised be to God.
Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
And only by this Miracle through the holy Spirit, can we enter into His promise.
And my lustful heart just melted away. My eyes no longer wander, as if a new heart in me. And now when anger overcomes me, when I sit and pray, it melts away, and my anger used to overcome me! It has to be a new heart in us. Spontaneous, new heart.
[ + ] doginventer
[ - ] doginventer [op] 0 points 6 monthsNov 9, 2024 14:32:01 ago (+0/-0)
Ecclesiastes is such a deeply sobering read, even darkly so, but ultimately such an uplifting and inspiring book. It’s clear Solomon had walked into a place of true despair and only the unvarnished truth and inspiration of Elohiym was sufficient to walk him back out again.
Hallelujah.
[ + ] Theo
[ - ] Theo 1 point 6 monthsNov 9, 2024 23:20:15 ago (+1/-0)
Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly.
Proverbs 3:34