Kraft Foods had a problem. The company was recognized as a leading American brand worldwide, and most people around the globe had a favorable opinion of it. "How can we change this?", thought Marketing head Martin Renaud.
So, a company-wide search to find a divisive and hard-to-pronounce name was started. The winner of the contest was Mondelez International, complete with foreign accent. (Monde means "world", and "lez" stands for lesbians, so the company name translates to "Worldwide Lesbians International".
"Finally!", said Renaud, "a name that will repulse half the population as well as confuse everyone as to what the hell a Mondelez is". Recognition, awareness, and loyalty are all down. "Exactly as anticipated", said Renaud, who now plans to rename Oreos.
Huge corporations backed by even bigger investment funds. Who cares about them? They sell products worth billions of dollars every day and don't give a fuck about their customers as long as the money keeps coming. Instead of buying Kraft or Mondelez or whatever they call themselves, buy products from local businesses. This at least may improve your area and make things a tiny little bit better around you.
[ + ] Drstrangestgov
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