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If space aliens landed on your front lawn (or near to you), and gave you a time machine, what 0ne thing you would go back in time and change?

submitted by anon to AnonWhatever 6 monthsOct 29, 2024 23:39:37 ago (+1/-0)     (AnonWhatever)



33 comments block

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[ - ] anon 3346134 6 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 00:05:13 ago (+6/-0)

make sure Hadrian doesn't miss a single one

[ - ] 2Drunk 2 points 6 monthsOct 29, 2024 23:45:39 ago (+2/-0)

I'd take my phone with me and show the allied forces what will become if they defeat Germany.

[ - ] anon 2910880 [op] 0 points 6 monthsOct 29, 2024 23:56:12 ago (+0/-0)

The better plan, would be to Red-pill the Russians, and get the Russians on the side of the Germans in a united effort...

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 00:26:19 ago (+1/-0)

youd have to go back another 20 years. communism is a jewish thing.

could go back and show Balfour's enemies what happens the next century over his declaration maybe? That could possibly stop zionism before it began, therefore no red russia, therefore russia fights with germany against the ottomans and shit stirring poms (wwi was against the ottomans, the whole germany thing was a happy accident) trying to create israel, then no suing for peace when winning a war, but then that means moustache man doesnt get support... but no weimar germany either...

this fun.

[ - ] anon 2375846 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 01:07:20 ago (+0/-0)

Who was the guy that would have beaten FDR? Maybe save him from dying and see if that changes things enough.

[ - ] anon 3384467 2 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 00:17:27 ago (+2/-0)

I would go back to the first jew and nigger and do the needful. amen

[ - ] anon 2910880 [op] 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 00:35:13 ago (+0/-0)

Yes, but how does having sex with them solve the problem? ;-)

[ - ] anon 3384467 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 00:40:45 ago (+1/-0)

I'ma give then gonorrhea.

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 2 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 00:22:56 ago (+2/-0)

pay @master_foo s mother another visit.

[ - ] anon 2910880 [op] 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 00:28:23 ago (+1/-0)

So you want to alter time to become his father? I mean, I guess, that WOULD save us all a big headache if he were brought up properly...

[ - ] puremadness 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 02:12:27 ago (+0/-0)

but as soon as he thought it we can collapse and conclude that he wasnt because he already became his father.
You've trapped them both in a timeloop.

rude.

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 06:41:06 ago (+0/-0)

well shit.

/me stuffs my jacket full of gold bars

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 06:40:42 ago (+0/-0)

i think... thats a compliment?

i was going to say id hand myself a condom and a paper bag.

[ - ] anon 1774696 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 13:07:19 ago (+1/-0)

I'd save the Czar and his family and then flay Lenin, Trotsky and all bolsheviks alive. I'd also put a bullet in between Churchill's eyes just on general principle.

[ - ] anon 3346134 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 00:04:39 ago (+0/-0)

how would i have the capability to change anything?

[ - ] anon 2910880 [op] 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 00:19:54 ago (+1/-0)*

Let's say you eliminated John Wilkes Booth the day before Lincoln was offed. You've changed the course of history. What if you were able to convince the captain of the Titanic that the ship was destined to strike an iceberg by showing him a modern newspaper with the headlines of the sinking, and convince him to adjust the route.

[ - ] anon 2375846 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 01:06:09 ago (+0/-0)

Pretty sure the captain was in on it. That's like trying to show the pilots whose planes were hijacked on 9/11 a news story about 9/11 so they wouldn't fly. It'd be a retarded waste of time.

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 08:05:22 ago (+0/-0)

i dont think youre understanding the concept of whats being asked...

i mean id write down where one of the nice big gold hordes in the UK are hidden, get in half an hour after it got buried, move it somewhere the fuck else, then go dig it up later.

[ - ] anon 2375846 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 01:09:33 ago (+1/-1)

Kill Abraham.

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 08:03:47 ago (+0/-0)

wow. edgy and original. top marks.

[ - ] anon 1208527 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 01:38:34 ago (+0/-0)

make sure the mespotamian empire never falls, but spreads throughout the world.

[ - ] anon 1649849 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 02:54:47 ago (+0/-0)

make sure the mespotamian empire never falls, but spreads throughout the world.

why?

effort-posts welcome.

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 08:03:30 ago (+0/-0)

child sacrifice maybe?

[ - ] puremadness 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 02:10:29 ago (+0/-0)

I would go back and be the best racist I could be this time around.
So many opportunities missed out on because of that creeping 90s tolerance.

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 06:43:09 ago (+0/-0)

anna.

id tell myself to bang anna.

she was on your bed at 7am. she fuckin told ya to come in to her room but she sleeps alone the night before.

you...

fffffffffffffffucking idiot.

legit the only time i actually regret not thinking with my cock :/ i kind of liked her.

[ - ] anon 1649849 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 02:56:20 ago (+0/-0)

I'd go back and give modern weapons and technology to emperor Vespasian.

[ - ] ItsOk2bArian 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 03:19:49 ago (+0/-0)

I'd go full Bill and Ted and round up all the best "antisemites" and bring them to the current time so they can see for themselves what their life's work missed and fell short on. After a few rounds of pizza and beer mixed with full internet access, I would return them to their homes to continue their journey with renewed vigor armed with knowledge of what will happen if they fail

[ - ] anon 2910880 [op] 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 03:24:42 ago (+0/-0)

Yeaaahhh,

But the Internet access would just make them porn addicts, and they might find poal & reddit, and become woke perverts...

You might have expedited transgenderism and wokeness... They would have had Pronouns in thirties...

[ - ] ItsOk2bArian 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 03:49:56 ago (+0/-0)

They had transgenders and wokeness in the 30's, that's how the NSDAP happened. I'd take my chances, how could it be worse?

[ - ] anon 2910880 [op] 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 04:16:21 ago (+0/-0)

Yes, that was clearly a thing in the 30's, It's why they burned books!

How could it be worse?

With Wokeness taking stronger root in the 30s, due to your introduction of the Internet, This would've expedited the timeline for drag queen story times in libraries, to about the mid-40's and your Mom COULD have had your dick cut off, and made into a vagina...

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 05:07:13 ago (+0/-0)

1939.

I'd explain to Hitler that he's going to be blamed for the crime so he might as well commit it. But better.

Then I'd fix the invasion of Russia and put a stop to that whole Normandy thing.

[ - ] anon 2281121 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 06:12:43 ago (+0/-0)

Well you'd have to do a lot of convincing that the Nazis ignore all the seemingly overhelming evidence and leave their troops there instead of moving them to Greece.

You are some random hobo that talks funny, but they have a body of a hobo in high ranking officer grear with totally legit documents and pictures of fake troop movments.

[ - ] anon 2281121 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2024 06:10:02 ago (+0/-0)

Nothing because you can't change to past, too many paradoxes, at best you change the future of an alternate universe that happen to exist at the point in time where you travele to, except that your actions were always to happen and don't change anything.


But ok lets play along I have a seriouse talk with Hadrian and convince Hitler not to be so trusting towards the Brits.