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37

PSA: Florida is a death trap

submitted by Endo_Aryan to whatever 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 09:46:17 ago (+37/-0)     (whatever)

Our hurricanes are 6 million miles across and blow 300 mph. We have anacondas, blood-sucking mosquitos, and a season every year where "hatebugs" swarm en masse and take all the finish off your car. Our cockroaches fly and our gators have AIDS. Not to mention our pollen season is deadly to vaxxed Yankees. Purebloods, Crackers, and honorary crackers with a blood-sweet tea ratio of 10:1 are exempt.

So any queers and faggots who moved to St Pete thinking you were going to have rainbow orgies are in for a rude awakening. Just cut your losses and slink back to wherever you came from. #demexit

Ready the johnboats and kayaks, boys. Biscuits before bagels


43 comments block

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[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 15 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 10:42:49 ago (+15/-0)

Biscuits before bagels!

Y'all don't come back now, ya hear?

[ - ] Steelerfish 4 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 13:25:52 ago (+4/-0)

I’m quite fine with these storms flooding my house. I expect it yet still choose to live here on the beaches. We were so overdue that the riff raff northerners felt comfortable and don’t know where to begin with preparation. I’ve talked to many many of my neighbors that have moved out onto the beach in the last 4-5 years that are going to pack up and move back north. Do I let the palm trees hit you in the ass on your way up I-95 or I-75…

THANK YOU HELENE AND MILTON. MY MOST FAVORITE STORMS EVER..
Screw the stuff I lost. l I’m a prepper and saved much more than lost. Learned some lessons for next time.. And thankful for prior lessons that proved vital. (Vaccum sealers are fucking awesome).
Good riddance to all you implant motherfuckers that have been infesting this place and tearing it’s heart out.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 2 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 14:55:57 ago (+2/-0)

pack up and move back north
Hallelujah, it's a miracle. Tampa Bay hasn't felt right since covid, when everyone moved in and brought their asshole road rage with them. You can barely find a spot to park at Publix anymore and forget going to Clearwater or St Pete Beach. I miss when the snowbirds used to leave.

Really, I don't mind hurricanes. I like when it gets quiet for once. During Irma, I saw a pack of coyotes run wild up the street. The first night before everyone cranked up their generators, you could see the stars again.

[ - ] con77 1 point 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 02:40:49 ago (+1/-0)

Right! The fuckers are here year round now

[ - ] Stonkmar 1 point 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 14:23:10 ago (+1/-0)

I looking into getting an RV. I'm thinking there might be a few available cheap/free after this storm. Of course, they may have water damage, etc. But I'm prepared for that.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 2 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 14:57:21 ago (+2/-0)

It's a buyers market for boats and RVs. Everyone is trying to make a few bucks back in this economy.

[ - ] CasualObserver 1 point 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 04:49:05 ago (+1/-0)

RVs are a giant pain in the ass as is. I have a 2022 5th wheel and the build quality is mediocre to say the least. I would avoid any with water damage.

[ - ] jfroybees 0 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 13:58:57 ago (+0/-0)

Amen.

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 0 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 14:35:52 ago (+0/-0)

(Vaccum sealers are fucking awesome)

Any tips on things to look for/look out for in a device?

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 8 monthsOct 11, 2024 10:37:00 ago (+0/-0)

The power came back on insanely fast so I made biscuits and sausage just because. Then we went to the beach hoping to find a square grouper but it was already picked clean ),:

[ - ] Drstrangestgov 8 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 10:45:17 ago (+8/-0)

Montana is a frozen hellscape 6 months of the year. We're all watching the Venezuelans and homos closely waiting for the hilarity to ensue.

[ - ] HeyJames 3 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 11:00:11 ago (+3/-0)

Montana is now a liberal shit hole

[ - ] Drstrangestgov 0 points 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 09:54:17 ago (+0/-0)

The entire world is now a liberal shit hole.

[ - ] GreenSaint 2 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 10:49:34 ago (+2/-0)

Man the mid west was the place I was planning on moving to if it gets too bad here and you’re telling me they’re there too…..

[ - ] Drstrangestgov 0 points 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 09:55:21 ago (+0/-0)

They came end masse over the last two to five years. Things have stabilized somewhat but it was an invasion.

[ - ] Peleg 5 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 10:48:01 ago (+5/-0)

We'd be better off if the queers and faggots would cut their own throats instead of their loses.

[ - ] SilentByAssociation 3 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 11:07:17 ago (+3/-0)

Based

[ - ] GreenSaint 2 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 10:48:42 ago (+2/-0)

wait what are these “hate bugs”

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 1 point 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 10:54:38 ago (+1/-0)

Lovebugs, completely harmless but can take the finish off your car if you don't wash them off. People used to put bras on the front of their cars but I haven't seen that in a long time.

[ - ] Spaceman84 2 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 11:42:42 ago (+2/-0)

They use clear vinyl now.

[ - ] GreenSaint 0 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 19:19:23 ago (+0/-0)

I like love bugs I used to play with them when I was a kid

[ - ] GodDoesNotExist -2 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 11:10:29 ago (+1/-3)

all these things are part of gods plan you heretic

[ - ] HeyJames 1 point 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 11:31:20 ago (+1/-0)

Not to mention the millions of niggers and spics

[ - ] registereduser 1 point 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 12:09:24 ago (+1/-0)

Kayaks are for gay faggots.

Jonboats and Canoes, faggot. Bonus points for a pirogue.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 8 monthsOct 11, 2024 10:20:58 ago (+0/-0)

A dugout would be top-tier. But kayaks are for the flooded city streets and river rats. Jon boats for fishing, pontoons for boomers with their grandkids, and cruise ships for the morbidly obese.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 1 point 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 12:10:21 ago (+1/-0)

Here on the Emerald Coast life is very nice, F U nigger

[ - ] Puller_of_Noses 6 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 12:14:51 ago (+6/-0)

A land of sunshine, song and dance.
You'll be stung to death by fire ants.
Crackers hate you; they can't be ruder.
And you can't outswim a barracuda.
Oh look, a heron, nature's glider.
On the back of your neck, a poison spider.
You're welcome to visit, but if you stay,
You'll be greeted by the KKK.




[ - ] texasblood 0 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 13:20:28 ago (+0/-0)

Sheets left that shithole decades ago.
That little clique up by the state line ain't shit anymore

[ - ] texasblood 0 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 13:17:40 ago (+0/-0)

Shoulda had that figured out with Andrew

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] -1 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 15:02:06 ago (+0/-1)

Andrew took down a tree, everything else has been more of the same.

[ - ] texasblood 0 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 20:42:49 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah pay no mind to Homestead that was completely leveled

STFU snowflake

[ - ] bossman131 0 points 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 10:11:20 ago (+0/-0)

Homestead housing and derelict cuban/nagger builders built shoddy shit. A thunderstorm would have wiped out the majority of housing recently built.
Trusses laying on the top plate with a #3 wood screw every 2 ft. Shitty ass cardboard structures passing inspections.
Warnings to crack down on shoddy construction and weed out corrupt or incompetent building inspectors in South Florida have been issued for decades, records show.Efforts to reform the system have taken aim at Dade County’s Building and Zoning Department — and in one case reformers cited construction flaws that inspectors overlooked in west Kendall, Dade, to name a few.

[ - ] texasblood 0 points 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 10:43:53 ago (+0/-0)

That's all after the fact.
Andrew dry fucked Florida,I saw all of it for 9 months hauling in shit to rebuild

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 8 monthsOct 11, 2024 11:19:38 ago (+0/-0)

You're the one still crying about something that happened 30 years ago, snowflake

[ - ] texasblood 0 points 8 monthsOct 11, 2024 23:39:23 ago (+0/-0)

Hey cock suck
I made bank on that bitch for nine months,your garden variety cuck.
I WIN FAGGOTT!

[ - ] JohnnyKarateChop 4 points 8 monthsOct 9, 2024 16:13:35 ago (+4/-0)

Our cockroaches fly and our gators have AIDS

That reminds me of when I worked at a gas station in my 20's. One night a cop came in, all tough looking, had on his gun, scanning the store. All to buy a bag of funyuns and a coke or whatever. Someone came in while I was ringing him up and a cockroach flew in right past the cops face. He freaked out, dropped his shit trying to swat at it. I just said

"...You good?"
He was like "What the hell was that?"
"State bird of Florida."

[ - ] con77 0 points 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 02:42:35 ago (+0/-0)

Touche

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 0 points 8 monthsOct 11, 2024 10:16:45 ago (+0/-0)

lol that's a good one. The story reminds me of when we took our lab down to the Suwannee to throw sticks for her and some guy came trying to look tough with his pitbull. My dog was doing what labs do, diving in to get the sticks and this guy was telling at his pit to "got in there" and the dog was looking all bewildered and sheepish like "no way, man". I don't even like pits but that was funny

[ - ] 3Whuurs 1 point 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 01:40:58 ago (+1/-0)

You never should have let your niggers give your gators Aids…

[ - ] bossman131 1 point 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 06:25:20 ago (+1/-0)

Tony Fauci and his never ending experimental injections were responsible for the AIDS crisis in the 1980s.

[ - ] con77 1 point 8 monthsOct 10, 2024 02:38:20 ago (+1/-0)

Palmetto bugs flying are a motherfucker.

The worst pest I've encountered are cuckadians.

People from Europe acting like they've never seen a line before.

[ - ] Endo_Aryan [op] 1 point 8 monthsOct 11, 2024 10:07:46 ago (+1/-0)

Oh yeah, I've dealt with that before. Instead of forming a line they all just cram in and elbow their way to the front. "Civilized and refined" my ass

[ - ] con77 1 point 8 monthsOct 11, 2024 10:36:07 ago (+1/-0)

I use my COMMAND VOICE on them