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21

I fuckin hate meteorologists

submitted by PeckerwoodPerry to Rants 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 11:59:48 ago (+24/-3)     (Rants)

First, they're all a bunch of fucking liars. You telling me that we can land a remote controlled robot of fuckin Mars, drive that nigger around taking pictures and drilling holes and shit, but you mother fuckers can't accurately tell me if it's gonna rain tomorrow? Fucking. Bull. Fucking. Shit. I ain't I ain't buying that shits, it's fuckin too expensive. Y'all mother fuckers can control the god damn weather, you can can tell me if it's gonna fuckin rain tomorrow.

Second, and this almost pisses me off more, is the flimsy fuckin language they get away with using. There's not a god damn difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny. Why the two terms? Because they're trying to emotionally manipulate people, and it fuckin works! Another one is chance of rain, fuck chance of rain. They'll tell you that there's a 90% chance of rain and you won't see a fuckin drizzle. What does it even mean? Like, 90% of the area MIGHT get rain? Like there's a 90% chance that it rains for a minute, or it's gonna rain for 90% of the day? Be specific you cunts.

This brings me to my third gripe, arguably the biggest. Storm predictions. Fuck your spaghetti models, cones of probability, and European climate models. You know exactly where the fuck a big storm is gonna hit, just tell those people. Nah, instead what they do is this fear based BROADcasting to get everyone within 200 miles of the Gulf or Atlantic to panic buy beer, plywood, gas, water, and whatever the fuck else their scared minds think they might need if the power goes out for a couple weeks. Meanwhile, BP, Home Depot, and Anheuser Busch are rubbing their hands and licking their lips. It's fuckin sick, if you have never seen someone in the grips of hurricane fear, it is fucking sick.

So yeah, fuck those guys. TL;DR the weather channel is fake news and fuck you too.


45 comments block


[ - ] CHIRO 0 points 8 monthsSep 25, 2024 00:45:30 ago (+0/-0)

So, radar and other satellite imaging can be used to get you good predictions same-day. Before that, the percentages you are getting don't often mean what people think they do.

If it's Monday, and you get a 90% chance of rain for Wednesday, what that means is:

Based on temp, pressure, dew point, and whatever else predicted for Wednesday, 90% of days that had these same conditions historically saw rain.

[ - ] _Obrez 0 points 8 monthsSep 25, 2024 00:27:02 ago (+0/-0)

I know a guy who went college to be a meteorologist, he's currently deployed so not actively working in the field but yeah it's a complex field with complex systems and the current tech is basically the best we've got.

The assholes on cable weather stations or news channels are trying to spook you for viewership; for the most part local news guys aren't doing that because they know their jobs are based on trust and reputation.

A few too many guys washing their cars on a hot, humid day could change where a storm begins, weather prediction probably wont get much better in a human influenced system. Studying other planets' weather is the trick to improving our models at this point and that's where my friend's research is pointed.understanding storms on mars and venus should help elucidate us on natural laws of weather and the human influences which warp the outcomes, through in an ai prediction algorithm about typical human behavior like washing cars and driving holidays and other things which effect the water cycle and you'll probably get 10-15% more precision.

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 23:46:44 ago (+0/-0)

"You motherfuckers can't tell me if it's going to rain tomorrow"

It's not fucking hard to learn enough basic meteorology and staring at wind and cloud maps enough that you can figure it the fuck out yourself.

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 23:07:31 ago (+0/-0)

If it makes you feel better, I just drove down to Orlando for a work thing through Friday.

Best part: "spaghetti models" are running over my house back in Georgia.

Let me know if I need to build a pontoon boat or buy all the bread and water I can...my storm prep knowledge is for blizzards.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 22:56:16 ago (+0/-0)

Totally agree.

[ - ] o0shad0o 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 21:26:20 ago (+0/-0)

I've found the graphs on Weather Underground's 10 day forecast to be invaluable. No, not always right, but a really good indicator.

Also, if you think forecasts are lousy today you'd be horrified at how poor they were in the past.

[ - ] bohmoonx 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 21:20:45 ago (+0/-0)

They are too busy accurately predicting the weather 20 years from now. My local weather guy has no fucking idea about tomorrow but since I have to paid 5 cents from a grocery bag I can reduce global warming. Or maybe the next ice age either way I'm part of the solution.

[ - ] Peleg 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 19:29:09 ago (+0/-0)

Most of the meteorologist on the tv when I was growing up were women. It always seemed to me like they were chosen, at least partly because of their looks.
Because of that while reading this I came to the opinion that they were the first dei employees.
To me it is one of those jobs that they give to people that can't do anything else.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 2 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 18:41:57 ago (+2/-0)

Today I had to paint something outside. Weather forecast: bright sun, no rain. I go there to paint: it rains. But we put a robot nigger on Mars? Fuck all dat.

[ - ] Thyhorrorcosmic103 1 point 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 18:25:52 ago (+1/-0)

You need a farmers almanac.

[ - ] RobertJHarsh 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 18:16:28 ago (+0/-0)

The best the computer models can do is 36 hours, max. Ohio has been in a drought for the last 2 months and almost every day they've predicted "20% chance of rain".

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 23:48:24 ago (+0/-0)

"Chances of storms are 20%, 0% of the time"

[ - ] RobertJHarsh 0 points 8 monthsSep 25, 2024 09:13:30 ago (+0/-0)

End of last week, this week this thing called FALL kicked in and it started raining again. Almost as if this happens at this very time every year and humans have known about it for thousands of years. But hey, what do I know.

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 18:04:42 ago (+0/-0)

Lol just pack an umbrella my nigga, if the rain bothers you so much.

[ - ] PoundOfFlesh 1 point 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 16:36:13 ago (+1/-0)

Cosigned. All the weather reports are bullshit and rarely close to accurate.

[ - ] canbot 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 16:15:46 ago (+0/-0)

If you can do a better job then do it.

[ - ] HelenHighwater 2 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 15:39:46 ago (+2/-0)

"Uh-Oh! Thunderbunny just showed us the lightning sign! That means there is high in the upper to lower 90% to low in the upper mid 50% that we will get some gully washers this evening! 'uncle umbrella' animation plays on screen. Don't get stuck out there folks!"

[ - ] CasualObserver 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 15:11:19 ago (+0/-0)

you seem to believe enough to still pay attention.

do not blaspheme the 'Science'.

[ - ] NoRefunds 1 point 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:44:48 ago (+1/-0)

that we can land a remote controlled robot of fuckin Mars

bro lol, this is where you first messed up

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 3 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:36:15 ago (+3/-0)

I was out with the fam one day and alerts started going off all over the radio and our phones. Major storm coming, they said. They said to take shelter immediately like it was the end of the fucking world. This would'be been in the early 2000's. So I stopped at a building that I know and went into the basement. Its a gov building and we knew everyone and they were like "what're you all doing here" and they were surpised. The storm turned out to be a regular ol thunderstorm the stupid fuclks. I never listened ever again.

They're full of shit. I've known this for decades. And get this, dude, one of my local meterologists had to go to a hospital ER. My close friends mom and aunt were at the top of the totem pole nurses there and they have a story. I know these people and they aren't liars. This gay jew showed up at the hospital with a sweeper hose hanging out of his asshole and he had gerbils burrowing in and he couldn't get them to come out so the doc & nurses had to extract them then pull the sweeper hose out this goony kikes ass. The way this guy talks and acts is exactly like Mister Garrison from South Park. My jaw dropped when they told me this because I never could stand listening to him to get the weather report. All my red flags always went off.

[ - ] NeverHappened 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:26:14 ago (+0/-0)

Meteorologists have always been shit in my recollection but it also is probably harder to predict nowadays when weather's being manipulated so crazily.
Have you guys been watching the clouds lately? I've been a smoker for much longer than I haven't so I've spent a lot of time looking around outside. Shit's been unreal lately.

[ - ] 9000timesempty 2 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:18:00 ago (+2/-0)

Yep. It frustrates the hell out of me.

[ - ] JudyStroyer 3 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:11:09 ago (+3/-0)

Peak forecasting is when they use 0% or 100% and are wrong. These people are literally the worst ficking cocksuckers on the “media” spectrum. I yield back my time.

[ - ] con77 5 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:13:50 ago (+5/-0)

But we're supposed to believe that they can predict 75 years from n.

[ - ] __47__ 4 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:07:13 ago (+4/-0)

Lol I agree. They're always wrong and keep their jobs.

[ - ] NeverHappened 2 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:22:36 ago (+2/-0)

My parents joked that they wanted one of us to become one for this very reason lol.

[ - ] __47__ 3 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:46:06 ago (+3/-0)

It used to annoy me big time when I lived in the Midwest. They would be clamoring saying a huge storm is coming. Well no shit Sherlock I see the black clouds coming from the west.

[ - ] GlowNiggerDick 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 21:15:44 ago (+0/-0)

I live in hurricane territory and I always joke the safest place to be is in the middle of the cone 3 days out.

[ - ] GlowNiggerDick 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 21:15:45 ago (+0/-0)

I live in hurricane territory and I always joke the safest place to be is in the middle of the cone 3 days out.

[ - ] con77 3 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 12:22:22 ago (+3/-0)

I heard Yosemite Sam reading that in my head! Dang Varmint!

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 12:37:29 ago (+1/-0)

Shit, you know what I'm talking about right? You probably see it happening in your area right now. I don't remember it being that bad back in the 80's.

Like, I had no idea that there was a storm coming until last night. I was at the bullshit rehab center that I'm ordered to attend and the guy watching me piss in a cup is crowing about some category five shit. Can't make this shit up.

[ - ] con77 2 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:11:42 ago (+2/-0)

They say we're going to get a 6ft storm surge every time. Never happens.
Ain't no cat 5. That's a transplant talking shit.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 3 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 13:44:19 ago (+3/-0)

They've sensationalized the weather to get views. Every storm that comes is the storm of the century oy vey panic goyim!

We also have those transplants that act like they've never seen weather before or that our weather is wild here where I live. I live in a 4 seasons state. Our summers are like a jungle. Our winters can be brutal like Canada.

[ - ] con77 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 15:56:22 ago (+0/-0)

our summers are like a sunny sauna. our winters I wear long pants half a dozen days

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 23:09:46 ago (+0/-0)

According to the nerd on FOX35, supposedly the storm will strengthen to a category 4...whatever that's supposed to mean.

[ - ] Peleg 1 point 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 19:18:09 ago (+1/-0)

Ya Darn Tootin, I did.

[ - ] FacelessOne 4 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 12:12:50 ago (+6/-2)

Space is fake and gay

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 4 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 12:22:20 ago (+4/-0)

Oh yeah, I forgot.

[ - ] Monica 7 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 12:03:34 ago (+7/-0)

Fear is major driving force to keep people tuned in.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 8 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 12:12:35 ago (+8/-0)

That's because it's simple alchemy. People that are afraid are easier to predict and control. Fear is the cornerstone of corruption on all levels, mortared to greed it makes a solid foundation.

[ - ] con77 4 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 12:24:07 ago (+4/-0)

Now you're quoting someone

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 12:28:54 ago (+1/-0)

Am I?

[ - ] GrayDragon 3 points 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 15:19:39 ago (+3/-0)

If not, you should write that one down.

[ - ] puremadness 1 point 8 monthsSep 24, 2024 18:51:16 ago (+1/-0)

He's holding the stone.