Basically this is a conditioned behavior. Lets take a different conditioned behavior disorder to compare.
The first thing you do to correct a conditioned behavior is you define the bad behavior. Lets say binge eating disorder. The next step is you identify the cause of the behavior. Say you binge eat when you get sad or something. Now what you do is attempt to break the association between those 2 things. So you can expose yourself to being sad but not the response, you will want to in this case replace binge eating with a new behavior like going for a walk or something.
See but being sad and binge eating don't have any real connection. They aren't literally related to each other. They just so happen to be 2 random unrelated thing that you associated and it caused you an issue.
With schizoid personality disorder, at least in my case, the cause and the behavior is the same exact thing, reversed. When I was very young I was severely neglected and ignored. So whenever I would try to talk or interact with people I would get nothing back, I would be ignored, not talked to, my existence wouldn't even be acknowledged. My parents would simply ignore me and walk away out of the room. If someone from CPS saw me in the state I was in I would have been immediately removed from my house.
So in this case the behavior is not talking to people, and the cause is talking to people (and getting nothing back). So what the fuck am I suppose to do. I have to expose myself to talking to people so I can cure the not talking to people behavior. THATS THE FUCKING PROBLEM! THATS THE CAUSE! THE CAUSE IS THE CURE?! You can't break the association between talking to people and not talking to people. How can you? The binge eater can easily do something else. The example would be if the binge eaters binge eating was caused by not binge eating, then they would have to not binge eat to expose themselves to binge eating to stop binge eating but thats what cause it in the first place! It's like a perfect fucking circle.
I read this back and it's barely understandable but I don't care. This is why nobody cures schizoid pd. This life is hell and if I can't do anything about this there no way I can live like this. It's impossible. I can feel within myself many layers of defenses stopping me from reaching out to people, even in the most meaningless interactions, like waving at someone. It jsut seems indominable to overcome. I'm extraordinarily unhappy. I'm grasping at straws here.
It will be easier to speak with others if you find a place that people gather who are interested in things you like.
Like your bicycle? Head to a bike shop and practice with sales people. That's easy mode.
Walk into the store. Sales says, "Hi can I help you find anything?"
You, "Yes, thanks. I'm in need of a new lock for my ride and some new lights, my old ones aren't bright enough. What do you recommend?"
Also, the grocery store. Walk up to the deli, take a number. Wait around until your number is called, if nobody talks to you while you wait, this is typical. Sometimes people do engage in small talk, just practice answering politely.
Once your number is called, approach the counter and ask what sandwich meats are on special, even if the one you want isn't on special.
This way, you get some exposure to interacting with people, without having to worry what the topic will be about. Eventually you'll become more comfortable, but the only way you'll improve is if you just go and try it. I think that after a few attempts you'll have less anxiety about speaking about something else with another type of person.
Sales people are easy to talk to so ask one for a recommendation on a product.
Find somewhere that socially awkward people are accepted, like a gaming store or some kind of nerd shop that caters to outcasts, but whose primary customers are not children. Helps if you have an actual interest in whatever hobby they're involved with.
Then shut the fuck up for the most part. Show up for the group game/quilting session/wood boat whittling session, introduce yourself, say you're kinda not used to interacting with people and you're trying to get out of your shell, and then suffer as you get used to it.
You could try seeking professional help as well, but they'll probably just try and convince you to cut your dick off.
You need to run away asap. If she said her family is jewish, that is a huge red flag. It's only going to end badly for you. The gaslighting and manipulation are only the tip of the iceberg. One day you'll wake up to her trying to kill you. And if you make any move to defend yourself, she'll call the cops on you.
So in this case the behavior is not talking to people, and the cause is talking to people (and getting nothing back).
So, talk to people who will talk back? If you've described this accurately, their reply will make the cause of your problem incomplete, and you'll be able hold up your end of the conversation, as they say.
Who do you want to talk to that you're not talking to now? Why do you want to talk to them, and what do you hope to accomplish by talking to them?
It's word association. They tell fat people they eat when they're emotional. they eat because they buy shit. When they feel bad about buying shit and eating it, they think the liars are right.
None of what you sid is true. You can talk to anyone you dam well please.
[ + ]anon
[ - ] anon 3026613 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 20:15:14 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Hall_of_Cost
[ - ] Hall_of_Cost 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 17:30:19 ago (+0/-0)
Like your bicycle? Head to a bike shop and practice with sales people. That's easy mode.
Walk into the store.
Sales says, "Hi can I help you find anything?"
You, "Yes, thanks. I'm in need of a new lock for my ride and some new lights, my old ones aren't bright enough. What do you recommend?"
Also, the grocery store. Walk up to the deli, take a number. Wait around until your number is called, if nobody talks to you while you wait, this is typical. Sometimes people do engage in small talk, just practice answering politely.
Once your number is called, approach the counter and ask what sandwich meats are on special, even if the one you want isn't on special.
This way, you get some exposure to interacting with people, without having to worry what the topic will be about. Eventually you'll become more comfortable, but the only way you'll improve is if you just go and try it. I think that after a few attempts you'll have less anxiety about speaking about something else with another type of person.
Sales people are easy to talk to so ask one for a recommendation on a product.
[ + ]anon
[ - ] anon 2840579 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 13:50:09 ago (+0/-0)
Then shut the fuck up for the most part. Show up for the group game/quilting session/wood boat whittling session, introduce yourself, say you're kinda not used to interacting with people and you're trying to get out of your shell, and then suffer as you get used to it.
You could try seeking professional help as well, but they'll probably just try and convince you to cut your dick off.
[ + ]anon
[ - ] anon 2047194 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 10:39:07 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 10:38:38 ago (+1/-1)
So, talk to people who will talk back? If you've described this accurately, their reply will make the cause of your problem incomplete, and you'll be able hold up your end of the conversation, as they say.
Who do you want to talk to that you're not talking to now? Why do you want to talk to them, and what do you hope to accomplish by talking to them?
[ + ]anon
[ - ] anon 2468628 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 09:27:13 ago (+0/-0)
None of what you sid is true. You can talk to anyone you dam well please.
[ + ]anon
[ - ] anon 2382047 1 point 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 09:19:07 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] anon
[ - ] anon 3766879 [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 8, 2024 06:08:58 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ]anon
[ - ] anon 3819569 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 08:39:19 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] anon
[ - ] anon 4280735 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 09:12:43 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] anon
[ - ] anon 3766879 [op] 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 8, 2024 06:14:38 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] TheYiddler
[ - ] TheYiddler -1 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 06:49:40 ago (+0/-1)
[ + ]anon
[ - ] anon 4280735 0 points 1.2 yearsApr 7, 2024 06:38:09 ago (+0/-0)